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| | Hurricane Hits Haven! by Olly Omani
As any local who was here the last few days and weren't in a drug induced fugue state know, a hurricane hit Haven. Worse than that is that the hurricane was part of a blizzard. Not only did we have massive winds tearing across our little town, but ice and snow too. Yay.
In more somber news, dozens of pets, primarily outdoor cats as well as dogs left unattended by owners in the yard, are missing or dead. There are advertisements elsewhere on the Internet and across the town that have names/pictures and phone numbers for their owners, so you might want to check those out if you come across a stray, or one of the dead.
On the people side of things, there are multiple deaths. Please see the Obits page for more information. Dwarfing the deaths, however, are the number of missing people. I've received word that at least a few have been found. Early reports are that they were blown off forest trails, most without flashlights strong enough to get through the storm. In one case, a woman sat within the crook of a large tree and survived off of the water bottle she happened to have with her and a granola bar.
The destruction in the city was relatively limited. Trash and garbage is everywhere, from uprooted trash cans and dumpsters, but the structures in town seem to have bore the brunt of the storm with only minor damage at best. I've reached out to the city council to confirm, but I suspect the reason for this is a wise investment in structurally sound hurricane resistant architecture.
Stay safe, Havenites. We made it through. I don't think FEMA'll be heading our way anytime soon though. Also, please bring your pets inside during a hurricane. That is all.
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| ...Of The Week
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Offensive Joke of the Week: What'd the rapist say to their victim? Go ahead, call the cops, we'll see who comes first.
Punny Joke of the Week: I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now
Quote of the Week: “Thou shalt not be a victim, thou shalt not be a perpetrator, but, above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.” ― Yehuda Bauer
Riddle of the Week: What flies when it's birthed, lies when it's alive, and runs when it dies?
Last Week's Answer: A stamp.
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| Obituaries
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Susan Collins, age 24, was struck by an SUV while jogging during the hurricane and was killed on impact. It's unclear if she was jogging for exercise or to get back home, but she was wearing the clothing she typically wore to exercise in. She had been training for a marathon. She leaves a boyfriend, Steve, and her parents Michael and Ivana.
Maggie and Jordan Steward, aged 35 and 36 respectively, were killed with their daughter, Megan when a tree succumbed to the hurricane winds and landed atop their vehicle as they were returning from the grocery store toward their house. The other occupants of the car: Frank McMurphy, Maggie's father, and Bobby Steward, the Steward's youngest child, survived the incident.
Blake Turner, age 23, was found dead by his best friend when the storm cleared. Reportedly he'd been trying to reach Blake and received no response. In what seems to be a freak accident, an uprooted stop sign was found impaled in Mr. Turner's torso. Blake was a frequent gamer and was still clutching his XBox controller in one hand when he was found. He is survived by his older sister, Briana, and his mother, Darlene.
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by Olly Omani
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