|
| 
| | Haven's Oldest Resident! by Olly Omani
It's another slow news week in Haven, but hey, how about something light hearted? If anyone's following national news, this can be the breather issue of The Lantern.
Meet Natalie Woods (pictured above), while she isn't going to be breaking any world records for at least another decade, she is the oldest living resident of Haven. 97 years old and still kicking. She came to Haven back in the 1964, just a few short months after the assassination of JFK. Her husband, now passed on over twenty years ago, opened up a small fish shack where they served lobster, oysters, clams and other locally caught seafood. Natty, as she goes by with her friends, was a housewife and raised seven children. Most of those children have left Haven now, and she has outlived a few of them. She's had a long life and still tends to a lovely garden. Unfortunately, it's fucking winter now, but she showed me some pictures from earlier in 2017 and it was a nice little garden. She also has two cats, Buster and Captain, a pair of big fat calico cats that did not like me one bit, but they were pretty cute.
When asked about her secret in living a long life, she had the following to say, "A glass of whole milk and two eggs in the morning and a great big pot of coffee, that's the ticket that keeps my ticker ticking. You can still add some salsa onto the eggs if that's part of your culture, son."
I think she thought I am Mexican. I am not though dudes. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Mahalo, Havenites.
|
|
|
| Advertisements
| |
[Innerspace]
Innovate your inner spaces with distinctive design.
Innerspace
712-5678
[Inkcognito Tattoo Studio]
Inkcognito Tattoo Studio
Hayden Finn - Proprietor/Tattooist
712-4961
112 Pub Road, Adjoining Hooligans Pub
|
| ...Of The Week
| |
Offensive Joke of the Week: What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being in a wheelchair
Punny Joke of the Week: Why can't you trust atoms? They make up everything!
Quote of the Week: "Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose." - Anonymous/L.A. Noire background chatter
Riddle of the Week: The more of me you take, the more of me you leave behind. What am I?
Last Week's Answer: An egg.
|
| Obituaries
| |
Auggie Clark, aged 84, died in his sleep last night. He is survived by his long-time partner, Saul, and their golden retriever, Oxford.
|
Click Here to Submit a Question Ask Olly Donate To Keep The Lantern Lit
| I am not a certified therapist, psychiatrist or anything else, but if you have a question and want some unbiased, objective advice from a guy who doesn't know you, you've come to the right place!
Dear Mr. Omani,
I write to you today seeking your advice. I do not know why I am writing you, but perhaps you can help. I find myself in the midst of something of an existential crisis. I want to be the absolute best I can be in my job yet I feel a lingering sense that I should do more to help my colleagues. How do I become the best in my field and not sacrifice my 'family' to do so?
- Concerned colleague
Dear Concerned colleague,
Man, that's a tough one, because I don't know what you do. But here's my very general advice: why not both? You can work on helping your colleagues, and in turn their input and their help could help like push you up in turn. A rising tide, and all that.
If you think that it has to be one or the other, then you have to decide what you really want. Do you want to be the person who supported several others who became great, or do you want to be the great one, even if it means neglecting others (or even using their backs as stepping stones to get ahead)?
That's a choice you have to make for yourself man, or maybe it's not and you can do both and benefit from synergy. If you want to write back with more details I can take another crack at it, otherwise - best of luck to you dude.
-Olly
|
Click Here to Submit a Question The Grinning Knight Donate To Keep The Lantern Lit
| |
A Weekly Serial
by Olly Omani
On Hiatus
The Grinning Knight, Chapter 2, may continue at some point
|
|
