Once voted most likely to disappear by graduation years ago, Xan was never known for his educational aptitude. When transparent it is accurate to say that Xan was
known for Nothing at all. This earned him the honor of being a commonly used experiment behind closed doors. Something he learned at an early age not to complain about. He was deemed the Nameless Little Nothing for many years. His saving grace was his tenacity, his durability, his obedience, and his cowardice. His constant need for approval and the attention of others surely contributed as well. It was not always this way, though.
Contrasting Blackfield's many success stories, there are the failures that try to claw their way back into relevance. Many of the friends he made were these delinquents of various shades. Passing time and the heat of trauma forged these misfits into a family. Not an uncommon occurrence for a student body often trapped together, despite the Institutes' more recent changes in 2023. Even in the teenage angst of it all, there was hope for these young minds who had fallen woefully behind their peers. Warm memories and beautifully weaved stories of friendship, high school love, and the more light-hearted things in life helped Xan cope with the lurking nightmares of his small Institutional world.
When no matter how hard you try you can only fail, what do you do? You embrace it.
We will never be monsters, they promised.
We will never be monsters, they lied.
Seven turned to six in February.
Six turned to four the following year when spring finally arrived.
We'll make it out together, they lied.
Four turned to three in December.
Her death hurt their family the worst. Blame someone. Blame the institute. Blame the dead. Blame the missing. Blame each other. Blame ourselves.
In the end, the Institute wasn't the thing that kept him up at night, it was those he learned to live without. The medication helped soothe that, as it had for several years. Xanax was his poison of choice, he took them often. It wasn't the only thing his aching mind yearned for but it was his favorite answer. His remaining friends called him Xanny, it bothered him more than he would have ever admitted then. The remaining idiot teens dug deep to fix their past mistakes. They studied hard, bent to the expectation of the Faculty, and contained their emotions. Each of them prayed that their blood would stay inert. A prayer a day keeps the monsters away.
And then there was one. A suicide pact he forgot to RSVP to.
Not to fret, he can just show up late! Then they would all be together.
A bottle of prayers and a trip down the stairs.
He broke his promise.
After a failed suicide attempt Xan found himself being congratulated by his Doctor. He was showing signs of regeneration when found by a passing orderly. His blood was showing more signs of activity than it had ever displayed before! Missing paperwork on the teen required him to take a new name, he could even choose! After he had time to digest and calm down from all the 'good news', he picked Xan. Please call him Xan. He should've been happier, the world would soon be his oyster. Or so they said. He struggled to recover emotionally, some say he never did. Freedom came that following year and while he remains with Blackfield as a college student he now strives to be the best at what he is.
A Monster In Training.
He needs to be just like Them.
Then it'll all be worth it, and he'll never be Alone again.Right?
Melody. Harmony. Symphony.
Spare A Few Words?
"I'm terrified of the day when your arguments sound more acceptable than they do now." - Isabelle?
