Jakem’s Thursday night odd encounter(Mirabel)
Date: 2025-06-26 00:43
(Jakem’s Thursday night odd encounter(Mirabel):Mirabel)
[Thu Jun 26 2025]
An alleyway where reality doesn’t seem altogether correct
The bathroom’s got cracked tiles, a faucet that never quite stops dripping, and a cabinet door that won’t close all the way. But in the middle of it all sits a surprisingly bohemian, vintage clawfoot bathtub with gleaming brass talons and a clean shower curtain that lifts up the room.
It is about 60F(15C) degrees. The mist is heaviest At Autumn and Blackstone/span
(Your target has been abducted by the syndicate for potential sale offworld, they must escape or stall their abductors long enough for their allies to be able to come rescue them before the transaction can take place.
)
Jakem should have brought his stash of candy.
Whatever Jakem was doing before, they now wake up in the back of a black van! It’s driving, and the green-haired victim has been tied up and left with a guard in the back while someone else is driving. “Fucker woke up,” the black-clad man says to his accomplice. “You reckon he’s gonna try anything?”
Jakem does a quick count of his captors as he glances up “Oh, shit. You suckers better not have mussed my hair. It’s an hour each morning just to get it to sit right.” he grumbles. “All right, who do I owe money to this time?” he asks “And why don’t you just send me an invoice like a normal mercantiler.”
“Just shut him up, he’s gettin’ on my nerves!” responds the driver, a surly-sounding woman. The man next to Jakem turns his attention back to the captive and says, “If ya don’t shut up, I’ll get a trimmer and cut it off. It looks dumb, anyway. What is it, Saint Patrick’s Day?” After a pause, he adds, “We ain’t telling you who we are, numbskull. You’re just going to the slave auction and then we get our cut.”
Jakem nods a bit “Well by the time I get it looking proper it’ll be Saint Patrick’s Day.” he says with a sullen whisper. Then he goes to mumbling to himself about hair-related philistines.
After a few minutes of waiting for a suitable distraction; dangerous traffic, some discussion that draws attention away from him, or even just a pothole he leans closer to the closest guard and whispers good naturedly “Slavery’s illegal yah know?” he says before chuckling quietly. “Ah shit, nah I’m just messing, but seriously, how much they pay yah for this black bag business? Cause have I got an offer for you.”
“Lots of stuff is illegal. You know what ought to be illegal? Vampires. I friggin’ hate those,” the captor informs Jakem, frowning tersely. “Not that it’s any of your business, but we get thirty percent of the sale,” he goes on and touches an earpiece, squinting irritably. “Yeah, what? Huh? How come? Ah, for fuck sake.” After apparently receiving a message on their evil kidnapper comms, the man turns to rummage around in a duffel bag and gets out a camera. “The auction folks need a picture, buddy. Helps them prepare for the sale or whatever.”
“Quit being nice to him, idiot!” the driver yells over her shoulder.
Jakem smirks “Bet you’re regretting you mussed my hair now huh? Probably knock the price down 25/. Good news though, you can make a whole lot more than that. Accidentally fuck up my bonds enough for me to get free, and you got a lifetime ticket from an honest to god leprechaun. We’re talking pot of gold under the rainbow, never work another day in your life.” He murmurs quietly. “Doesn’t even have to be a risk. Your friend was the one that bound me up, he’ll take the blame for my bonds bein’ messed up. C’mon man, rich blokes don’t get sold as slaves.” he murmurs to his captor.
“I wasn’t being nice to him! I was just talking so as he doesn’t have time to plan an escape. It was number three on the list of tips and tricks,” the guard retorts and sighs dejectedly to himself. Looking back to Jakem, he fiddles with the camera (which has ‘Property of the Syndicate’ stenciled on the side) and says, “There ain’t pots of gold under rainbows, dummy. Quit trying to trick me. I scored like four points above the threshold for special needs so I’m not gonna fall for it.”
“The scale was one to a hundred and the threshold was twenty,” the driver remarks shaking her head vaguely. “Just take the picture and get it sent so they’re ready to grab him when we get to the airstrip.”
“Quit stressing me out, Denice!” the man complains while trying to turn the camera on, frowning impatiently.
Jakem nods “Yah you caught me, that was one of those metaphor tricks where a fellow says one things but means another. The trick was that it wasn’t a literal pot of gold, it was just a lot of money.” he says, preening a bit as the man starts mucking with the camera “Oh, hey you heard her. She said to send them her picture right away.” He says persuasively.
Jakem calls up to the cab “Hey give the man a break Denice, he’s doing his best. And you pay him shit, so no complaining outa you.”
“Fucking idiot, don’t tell him my name!” the driver yells slants a scowling look into the back of the van. The man continues to struggle with the camera and peers indecisively at Jakem. “Like how much?” he asks quietly.
Jakem whispers over to the man “Twice what you’ll get from selling me. And I aint the sort to break a deal. You can look up my rep on faebargains.com. I’ve got four and a half stars.”
“Quit calling me an idiot!” the man retorts and points the camera at the driver, taking an abrupt photo. Turns out the van is dark enough to trigger the flash, and for a moment, the whole place is cast into a blinding flare of light. “Shit!” he hisses, while the driver yells, “What the fuck, Cleatus?!”
Jakem takes this opportunity to roll towards the back of the van, trying to get to his feet with his back facing the back van door in the confusion as he tries to open it with his bound hands. “Don’t forget to send it!” he advises as he struggles with the door.
“I didn’t know this thing had a flash, okay? It ain’t my fault,” the guard protests, jolting as the van swerves. The driver lets out a string of profanity and tries to get the vehicle under control, and the man in the back with Jakem braces himself against the wall in order to remain upright. “Stop driving like an old lady!” he goes on and starts to turn his attention back to Jakem again.
Jakem works on that van handle, winking to Cletus “Yah did good kid. I got your number, I’ll call yah soon as I roll myself to safety. You’re gonna be rich enough to buy your own van and kidnap your own guys.” He calls. “Also, no lieing, but you guys woulda been in so much trouble if you’d sold me. I know your boss.” he whispers.
“What? Hey! Hey, stop that! You’re gonna scam me!” the black-clad man hisses and lurches forward to reach for Jakem’s, swaying unsteadily in the swerving van. While holding onto the camera, he stoops down to try and grab Jakem’s arm. “You’re just making that up. I didn’t even agree to anything yet, you green-haired douchebag.”
Jakem leans forward “Back off or you’ll lose that hand. I’m a close personal friend of Avatehl Jackson.” he growls. He tried good captive, time to switch to bad captive. “When she finds out you tried to sell off her boy toy, and didn’t even make much scratch from me cause you can’t take a picture, she’ll have your knucklebones.”
“Shit,” the guard murmurs, wincing uncertainly. He peers towards the van’s cab and back at Jakem again, wearing a conflicted look. “Well, Denice is gonna kill me, and you can’t just roll out the back of a moving van. That stuff only works in movies. This one time, we forgot to lock the back and a captive fell out and got run over by this truck that was behind us.”
“What’s going on back there?” the driver yells, sounding increasingly suspicious. “Don’t tell me you gotta pee again!”
Jakem nods to Cletus “Yah know, that works for me…” He glances behind him “But I kinda wanted to roll out of the van. Do some fancy action hero shit. Could you like slow it down to 15, and I could do it?” he asks. “It’ll take all day to fix the hair, but it’ll be worth it.”
“But what if there’s a truck behind the van and you get run over? They told me if that happens one more time, I’m getting demoted to warehouse guard,” the guy whispers, looking genuinely dejected. He puts the camera down on the floor and leans in towards Jakem a little. “Listen, could you tell Miss Jackson this was all Denice’s fault?”
Jakem nods firmly to Cletus “Yah, I mean if our next meeting doesn’t involve the ball gag I’ll let her know.” he comments with a little stretch of his neck and a big crooked smile to the man.
“She’s freaky, huh? I always figured,” he remarks and gives Jakem a jovial grin. After shushing the captive, he straightens up and turns to tell his driving accomplice, “Just slow down a bit, okay? We’re rattling around like golf balls back here on account of you think this is a racecar. Get it down to fifteen for a sec so we ain’t swerving all over the road.”
“Fine, but I’m still a better driver than you,” the woman behind the wheel retorts and slows the van down, keeping her eyes on the road. “Remember that time you almost hit that cop car?”
Jakem gives a quiet nod to Cletus and makes a little ‘mmm mmmph’ sound as if he’s being manhandled a little. And with that, he waits in hope that they slow down, but yah know, what happens happens. So regardless, he opens the back door as quietly as he can and rolls right out the back. “Nice one.” he whispers ‘accidentally’ hitting a cop car and all.
“Remember to tell Miss Jackson I did a good job!” Mirabel hisses to Jakem.
“Remember to tell Miss Jackson I did a good job!” the captor hisses to Jakem.
Jakem winks as he falls out of the back of a moving van. “This was a mistake.” he thinks to himself as he hits the pavement hard.
The van keeps moving and is soon far enough away that Jakem’s escape is secured. Fortunately, there’s no truck right behind it to turn the former abductee into haggis, but flopping onto the road from a moving vehicle is definitely a rough getaway plan.
There’s probably some scrapes and bruises, but Jakem can probably worm his way off the road and get to safety. If there’s a history of disco dancing, incur a +10/ bonus.
Jakem ends up face first on the pavement. It wasn’t graceful or impressive by any means, but he’s had mosh pits that were worse. Probably. he didn’t stay concious for the really bad ones. “Ohhhh, why’d I do that?” he moans at the asphalt. “Siri, call Chara for pickup.”
Roll credits! Thanks for watching Getaway 3: The Vantastic Escape.