Malin’s The Bachelor: New Haven Edition
Date: 2025-06-28 17:32
(Malin’s The Bachelor: New Haven Edition)
[Sat Jun 28 2025]
At the set of The Bachelor: New Haven Edition/span>/spanThe rooftop has been transformed into a romantic setting with its weathered
concrete now lined with rows of elegant white Chiavari chairs. A raised platform
stands at the centre, featuring a large trellis that is draped in sheer fabric and
entwined with fresh roses and trailing greenery in a picturesque backdrop against
the cityscape. Salt-heavy air still carries the distant sound of waves against the
seawall and the faint hum of the casino’s ventilation systems, but now the soft
murmur of an expectant audience mingles with the fresh scent of cut flowers.
It is afternoon/span>/span75F(23C) degrees, and the sky is covered by dark grey stormclouds. The mist is heaviest At Foxglove and Blackstone/span>/span“Vie has contracts if you don’t have one already,” Malin tells the contestants whilst nodding to Genevieve.
“Predictions that this will be fantastic are correct already, I see,” Aeryn states, glancing over the contestants on stage. “Yes, make sure to sign the contracts, please.”
“I don’t have one. Where do I sign and who am I selling my soul to?” August asks over the crowd, with a little push away from the wall.
“…I’ve been invited to.” Derek informs Dovie with a brief grin. “After all, I am the People’s Boyfriend.” He looks to Malin with a flit of his brows, then clearing his throat. He lifts a hand to wiggle his fingers in greeting as Arachne, Obadiah, and Gabriel arrive. His attention drifts back to August with something of a bemused smile. “So it would seem.” he states.
Jenny looks down at the contract “…I already signed this.”
Dovie laughs delightedly, nodding to Derek. “Of course, of course.”
Malin winks playfully at Derek. “I am honoured to have you here, Derek. Thank you for joining us, The People’s Boyfriend.”
Cristal squints at the contract. “Holy fuck this a lotta readin.”
Obadiah takes a seat with Arachne and Gabriel waving to Derek and Dovie before wiping some sweat from his brow and replacing his hat.”
Jakem nods to Cristal “I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s pretty boiler plate.”
“We’re looking for the one and only, you can’t be the People’s anymore!” Aeryn calls to Derek.
Malin insists to Cristal, “It isn’t important to read. Just like a terms of service agreement on an emm emm oh game. You just go ‘yes’ and then play.”
“Oh Derek,” Mab calls Derek’s way, lifting the back of her hand to her forehead in a melodramatic swoon. “Is it not enough that you have broken mine and Malin’s hearts already, you must now pursue my similarly Ma-named cousin?”
Arriving in the company of Obadiah and Gabriel, Arachne slips toward the chairs, finding a place beside Aeryn. She turns her mouth up into a faint smile, wiggling her fingers at Derek, Dovie, and the others. Her brows knit now, looking over the assorted faces onstage.
Matthew stands beside Malin, his hands casually at his side while she handles the all-important task of keeping the family’s lawyered-up ass covered.
Malin squints over at Matthew after she sends off a text to ensure he is ready to begin.
Genevieve steps out and quickly takes out the contracts, handing one to each of the contestants in turn and then the last to Matthew before taking a half step back.
Shiloh looks around at the growing crowd of people, furrowing his brow behind auburn locks, eventually he rises from his seat and slips away.
Dovie waves cheerily back to Arachne, Obadiah and Gabriel, but she glances to the contract given to her and tells Genevieve. “Oh, you can send this to the Fairchild family attorneys, I don’t dirty my hands with such things.”
Aeryn smiles to Arachne as she takes her seat, looking incredibly innocent before her fingers flit across her phone screen.
Malin opens the ceremony of sorts with a warm, “Welcome to The Bachelor, New Haven Edition. Contestants will vie to be the top three who will get to move onto round two later in the week, which will consist of an all expense paid, filmed date with the bachelor, and then to round three for a night of masked intrigued and a chance to win one thousand dollars.”
“But first,” Malin is informing everyone as her lightly Scandinavian affected lilt sing songs somewhat, “you need to meet the one everyone is here to charm. I present to you, the man with the smile, the mystery, and possibly the best taste in hot sauce this side of the Mississippi, your bachelor, Mister Matthew Montrose!” She gestures grandly to Matthew. “Matthew, please give our contestants and the lovely audience a reason to fight for you by telling them a little about yourself.”
A look of disappointment on Mab’s face settles upon Dovie. “I’m so sorry, darling; you must sign the contract to compete,” she tells her.
Dovie sighs and holds her hand out to Genevieve. “Hand it here.”
“That wouldn’t exactly work, legally speaking.” Genevieve advises Jakem.
Cristal signs and hands it over to Genevieve.
Jakem tilts his head as he looks to Genevieve “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to volunteer to participate in something that might disqualify one of my opponents. Entirely accidental, I apologize.”
Helen starts to place the contract down somewhere after reading it over briefly and signs it, looking to Genevieve, “Disparaging remarks are fun though if they’re teasingly said. I don’t know if you can count those afterwards.”
Dovie takes her time to read the agreement while the show begins.
At some point, the cat in Mab’s arms decides he’s had enough of the limelight, and slips out to stalk on over towards the audience chairs. He’s very friendly, he’ll probably find someone else to harass in no time.
Kai folds her arms behind her back as she gazes out over the crowd, her lips pulls up into a small smile. Once Matthew is prompted to talk about himself, she turns dutifully his way and tilts her head just a bit, one eyebrow cocked slightly in interest.
Malin is staring at Matthew expectantly.
Arachne wiggles her fingers with barely contained excitement when Marlow approaches the rows of white Chiavari chairs, shifting in her seat beside Aeryn, Gabriel and Obadiah to welcome her, but not before extending a faint smile to Elliot, as well, when she spots him.
Stepping forward with a bright smile and an easy confidence of someone who’s definitely gotten out of a second date by pretending to be his own twin, Matthew lifts a hand in greeting. “Hey, I see some familiar–” he glances across the crowd, making eyes with Dovie, August, Helen, among others, “Faces, but for those who don’t know me, I’m Matthew Montrose.” He begins, voice smooth and warm, “Known in some circles as teh man most likely to ghost you and then send you a ‘you up’ text six months later.” He spreads his hands with a shrug, sheepish but not apologetic. “I’m a podcast philosopher, a certified sauce connisseur, and a commited prankster.” A beat and his smile shifts, still playful but earnest around the edges. “And yea, I’ve spent most of my adult life dodging commitment, to anything except trouble… until now.” He pauses, drawing a breath before speaking further.
Subtly, Aeryn’s face drops promptly into her palm.
Wandering in with his cane, Elliot seats himself quietly in the chairs, lifting his cane so that it doesn’t tick noisily on the ground. Adjusting his suit, he hisses a little at his vest, removing it immediately before stowing it away into his backpack.
Malin does her absolute very best not to face palm after Matthew introduces himself in such a manner. Those plush lips press together tightly.
Contracts delivered, Genevieve slips back into the audience area.
Making her way to the seating area, Marlow asks, “Have I missed anything yet?” just as Matthew begins to speak. A brow arches somewhat skeptically, but she holds her peace, looking for an empty chair.
Derek squints at the contract, his eyes tracing along line by line, gaze occasionally tracking up to Dovie before he looks back down to the contract, printing his name neatly before signing in measured, artful cursive, then extending his contract to Genevieve nonchalantly.
“Thank you, Matthew…….” A beat and a forced expression of being pleased. “Now, contestants, you will go in alphabetical order. You will step up to the microphone, give your name and then describe yourself using only three adjectives. For example,” Malin is explaining to the group at large.
“I’m Malin Havstrom. Incorrigible. Mercurial. Blithe.”
After that, Malin states, “And then you will give the Wheel of Fate a spin. It will land on truth, dare, or wild. I will present your task, you perform it, and then Matthew will decide if you get to remain on stage, or if you’re getting yeeted off the building.” She nods to the bungee rig like this is the most perfectly normal call. “At the end of it all, Matthew will choose three of you, and the rest will go use this very safe, tried and true, contraption that allows you to go bungee jumping, and all dismissed contestants will receive a ‘thank you’ participation gift bag that is, well, very Oprah-esque. You won’t be disappointed even if you don’t make it to round two!” the Swede sounds sure of herself.
“August, you are up first,” is said to August with a nod to the microphone.
“Good grief this is a lot of people,” Patience muses as she maneuvers her way through the chairs with a whole lot of, “Excuse me!” and other such niceties, until she finds an empty chair.
Is this fashionably late or just rudely late? Either way, here is Charlotte. Walking in, she takes a look at the stage, laughing a little to herself, and pets the hairless cat before taking a seat in a chair near Patience, one leg crossing over the other as she gets comfortable, ready to watch and entertain herself.
Aeryn waves someone toward herself and Arachne, staring toward the stage with a touch of horror and amusement flitting about her features.
Aeryn waves Marlow toward herself and Arachne, staring toward the stage with a touch of horror and amusement flitting about her features.
Obadiah nods to Arachne after glancing to his phone and then looks over to Patience, urging her to join the Arachne, Aeryn, Marlow cluster.
Malin holds up a hand. “Oh, hold on August,” she says to August. “It appears our Bachelor has more to reveal.”
Malin keeps that forced smile and looks to Matthew.
As Matthew gives his introduction, August has his back against the wall, filling out a form, signing and everything. It’s folded in half for ease of carry, and he moves to the edge of the podium to give it a little toss-over and drop it within reach of Genevieve for them to collect. When he returns, his pose is much the same, hand in his pocket- Or it would’ve before Malin urges him on. He’s caught nearly frozen, but then, Matthew is speaking more, and he’s breathing a sigh of relief. The knowledge that he’ll go first has him stand straighter, adjust himself, and assume that stoicly stern expression once again with a hand fixing the buttons at the neck of his shirt.
Matthew lets the pause hang just long enough to raise Malin’s blood pressure, but he’s smiling confidently, continuing on with his speech. “This time, I’m serious. I’m not just looking for heat, I’m looking for love.” His tone deepens, playful in its sincerity, “The right blend of sweet, spicy, a little tangy, and dangerous if you’re into that.” A wink follows. “Basically, I want to find the hot sauce to my chicken wing. The one I stop sampling for.” He steps forward with theatric MOntrose flair, hands gesturing like he’s inviting the whole world into the chaos. “So buckle up, because I’m the Bachelor, but I’m gonna stir the pot, and maybe taste every sauce along the way.” A beat and then he’s grinning wildly, “Let’s get messy!”
When the fates conspire in her and Aeryn’s favor by August being chosen first, Arachne immediately straightens up, grabbing her phone.
Aeryn turns with her utmost attention devoted toward the stage, a grin turning the corner of her mouth upward.
Malin mms softly as she nods along, listening to Matthew. She then applauds him some and directs her attention to August. “All right, August. Come up, introduce yourself, and spin that wheel.”
Mab looks beyond proud to witness her cousin embarking on his quest for love. (In front of the cameras … on live television.) She gasps, so very deeply moved by his words, and clasps her hands together at the side of her head, practically swooning as she gazes out towards the contestants with hope-filled blue eyes. She waits until the cameras zoom in on her expression, even if it’s only for a second, before she sheds a single tear. And who knows how she did that, right? She doesn’t even have functional tear-ducts.
August’s breath is spent slow and steady, and in his wait, that watch of Matthew, all of his expression speaks severe. Not in the aggressive sort, but the sort that’s Piercing, so to speak. The hand fussing over the top buttons of his shirt leave it undone a few, leading down below his clavicle, bare some chest, a tattoo over his heart, and he shoves away from the wall amongst the contestants to approach the microphone.
Those haunted green eyes cross with the bloodline stare that makes August a younger example of a certain, notorious uncle stare, and his head lifts first before his eyes. “August Pierce,” Delivered with a thin smile that just barely manages to dispel the harshness of his gaze, “Deliberate, volatile, and obsessive.” The microphone is left, August’s attention isn’t even on the crowd, but Matthew is spared a wink while he turns to lead himself to the wheel and give it a good spin.
August uses a rhinestone-studded Wheel of Fate: 31The rapid beats of29 the rhinestone-shi28ning pointer clicki21ng over the pegs ev20entually slow down,14 stuttering against08 a wild card option02 before snapping ba96ck to land on DARE.
Aeryn claps her hands together once, clearly on the edge of her seat.
Malin looks impressed as August presents himself to the audience. She nods along with those three words chosen to describe himself, and then she watches that wheel spin. Upon its landing, her blue eyes glimmer, and she informs him, “A dare! August, show us your signature dance move you would use to attract someone, August.”
Matthew/i>/b/spanMatthew returns, turning to the wheel as it starts to spin and then lands on DARE.
Kai smiles in amusement when Malin reveals what August’s dare will be, she turns a bit toward the man and offers him a little encouraging clap, her small smile widening, showing off her teeth as she gazes at the man.
Charlotte wanders over to the buffet, pondering through what’s on offer for a moment before saying “Ooh, tartlets!” to herself. She snags one and, prize in hand, wanders back to her chair, settling back down and looking very happy with her life and her choices.
Aeryn barely manages to stifle a giggle, and turns to whisper something to Marlow.
“That’s my nephew!” Marlow calls out loud while August spins the wheel, performing the embarrassing relative in the audience routine perfunctorily.
Marlow grimaces at Aeryn. “Surely it should just be Aurgew?”
All in all, he doesn’t seem to be upset at all that he’s got a dare, but when Malin calls him out at his back, August steps backward to the center of the podium with his eyes still upon the wheel. One of his hands has already left for his pocket, and the other returns to the microphone. That slow motion drift of his gaze finds Malin, then Matthew, and he smiles anew. So thin that it’s surgically sharp and bereft of his gaze, with a slow lean to speak to the microphone. “I would, but tango is best with a partner. Am I allowed one?” He hasn’t stopped watching Matthew, even with the question.
“By all means,” Malin says to August, nodding to Matthew.
Matthew is none the wiser to whatever Malin and Mab are plotting, or so it would seem. He’s just a bachelor looking pleased as pie to have so many people here. His pretty smile remains in place, eyes lingering on August but inevitably others catch his attention, Charlotte in the chairs, Cristal at the stage, and then finally Kai. This one he fixates on for a little longer than the rest.
Aeryn’s eyebrows raise, and she nods at Marlow. “Hey, that’s a thought too, honestly. Very refined.” August asks for a partner for his dare, and that snaps her eyes back toward the stage.
August’s request for a partner has Mab’s hands flying to her face. She gasps, eyes wide, and then looks this way and that. “Oooooh!” She lifts up her hands at her sides to try and encourage the audience to join in.
Never one to leave a dance partner alone, Matthew steps forward, looking to take August’s hand, “No,” he calls, “I have been told you learn a lot about a man, by how he dances.” And with that he’s taking up that spot before anyone can volunteer.
Aeryn gives an approving nod of her head, mouth left slightly hanging at the sheer amount of effort going into this first dare.
“Well arguing is what they’re both best at,” Marlow figures. “My nephew dressed up,” Marlow brags unsubtly to Genevieve at her observation. “I see some gowns and blazers, it’s not all terrible,” she says. “If you squint.”
Cristal glares at Jakem. “Oh hells no. I ain’t helpin the competition!”
Patience says “Is that Jakem wearing a mask on stage?“
Jakem nods, speaking a bit louder to Malin “I shall do my best. Let me see if I brought a mic…”
“I thought he normally wore suits like that?” Genevieve queries Marlow, “He is the nicest dressed though for sure. I didn’t see anything I’d call a gown though.” She says, peering at the people on stage again.
August’s eyes light up, for once, with an inkling of the mirth spared in his smile when Matthew climbs the steps. “I wasn’t prepared to dance, so I didn’t bring a rose to put in your mouth,” And in the hand Matthew lends to his, he holds it like a challenge, tightening short of bruising before he pulls – and Matthew is lead into his orbit with the gravity of a storm. The voices calling for music are stilled easily when he rests his head against Matthew’s own, without averting his eyes at all from his. “We don’t need music between us, do we?” Meanwhile, his other hand, it slides around to settle his wrist and palm in the small of his partner’s back to keep them together.
Genevieve applauds from the crowd when August and Matthew start dancing.
As the two men take the “dance” floor, Jakem steps up to the front of the stage and flips on a mic he apparently brought with him. He waits a moment for the two men to prepare themselves… But only a moment.
“You always need music! Bow, badoww… sudapopop, Here we go!” he says into the microphone, doing the vocal accompaniment to salsa music that doesn’t play. Fortunately, he fixes that shortly thereafter by beginining to beatbox in rough timing with salsa music. “C’estvieno!” he yells at random in the middle of it. No that wasn’t quite Spanish.
Charlotte busts up laughing at something said at the chairs, glancing over at Marlow and Elliot. Chortling into her champagne, she calls out a cheery “Get it, boys!” as the men start their tango. “Maugust forever!”
Marlow joins in the applause as the dancing begins, watching August and Matthew with interest, though when someone begins beatboxing, her smile goes a bit stiff.
Matthew grins like the world’s tipped in his favor, as if only he and August were beneath this sky. “We don’t,” he answers, voice low and sure. His gaze doesn’t stray for even a second. “But will you lead?” The words are a tease, a dare as one hand settles to curl into Augusts, leaving himself to be pulled through the dance without resistance.
Marlow joins in the applause as the dancing begins, watching August and Matthew with interest, though when Jakem begins beatboxing, her smile goes a bit stiff.
Aeryn raises her hands, bringing them together to join in the clapping for the pair on stage. “Love is already in the air!”
Nemi smiles softly, hands raising for the applause so she can softly join in. A warm smile on her face as she chuckles too softly to hear over the clapping.
Genevieve’s lip curls with distaste for some reason as she stops clapping and settles down.
Marlow leans in toward Genevieve to whisper something near her ear, missing Elliot’s sass for the time being.
Nemi slowly stops her own clapping as she settles down with a smile, content to watch whats happening still.
August’s eyes skip aside to stare at Malin. Almost baleful at being interrupted, but he still pulls Matthew in tighter, and takes one step aside. “Naturally,” but it isn’t an answer to the hecklers, it’s to Matthew. A step, another, he’s not matching the beatbox rhythm but one of their own. Off-kilter until one takes attention, looks closer. He leads Matthew like he paints, does each movement in the span of a heartbeat, and when he turns, his spine is like a blade, both cutting and supporting Matthew.
Every pivot, every turn, they’re using a portion of the stage to forget the audience, but it is precisely when August presses Matthew at the small of his back, guides him to bend and spread taut like a bow backwards that the sound of their footsteps fall, moving like they have a debt to pay the rhythm. Then, a snap, and Matthew is brought back to a near-kiss, just shy of one or two breaths away into August’s smile.
The release is simple, August winks.
Then he joins the contestants, arrived like a storm, left like a hurricane.
Arriving, once again, fashionably late, Seraphina swiftly, silently finds herself a chair to sit at amongst the crowd of audience members.
Genevieve just gives a little shake of her head to Marlow before leaning in a little.
With a snap of her fingers, Mab directs the cameras to zoom in on Jakem and his beatboxing. “Uh oh, drama!” she announces, “Is one of the contestants trying to dampen the romantic debut dance of Maugust Madness? Or is he trying to showcase his creative talents ahead of time to woo our Bachelor? Jealousy or desperation! Stay tuned to find out.” But most of the cameras remain pointed at August and Matthew for any viewers at home, romantic violins are playing in the background, with only a brief and jarring cut to the beatboxing. There’s also a shot of Genevieve’s face when she grimaces during the performance.
Matthew holds that breathless closeness like it’s sacred, tension strung tight as a bow with no arrow loosed. His eyes search someone’ lingering in the space between them as if daring it to close, untl the wink cuts the wire, and the moment snaps. He doesn’t chase after it; instead he straightens with a laugh caught behind his feet, head turning slowly toward the crowd. The signature Montrose grin blooms wide across his face.
Matthew holds that breathless closeness like it’s sacred, tension strung tight as a bow with no arrow loosed. His eyes search August’s, lingering in the space between them as if daring it to close, untl the wink cuts the wire, and the moment snaps. He doesn’t chase after it; instead he straightens with a laugh caught behind his feet, head turning slowly toward the crowd. The signature Montrose grin blooms wide across his face.
Malin does not look like she’s playing around, given the way those blue-greys lock onto August’s gaze in response to how he reacts to her, but it softens after a moment and she watches the Pierce dance with Matthew. “That was very impressive! It think a tango might just be foreplay with footwork after that performance,” she shares.
“Thank you, August. Next up, we have Cristal,” Malin says, motioning to Cristal to step up to the microphone.
Jenny gives a brief applause at the dance as it finishes up, but otherwise stays silent at the next person is called up.
August plays the badboy card. Malin is given a glance from where he’s given his back to the wall, and left a hand in his pocket. A single shoulder hitches in a light shrug at the same time the thumb of his other hand drags the pad of it over his lower lip, and it drops so he can turn his head at the other contestants.
Cristal perks up and steps out from the contestants, walking up towards the wheel. She grins at Matthew and waves at the audience. “Hiiii!! I’m Cristal Luck, owner of the House of Luck Night Club, the like total best place to party in New Haven!” She makes sure to tell the camera that straight on before she takes a deep breath and looks at Matthew, a playful look on her lips. “And don’t worry honeybee,” she winks at him. “I love hot wings and I know I can fix ya!” She pantomimes eating hot wings, even licking her lips after before giving the wheel a spin with her other hand.
Cristal uses a rhinestone-studded Wheel of Fate: 31The rapid beats of29 the rhinestone-shi28ning pointer clicki21ng over the pegs ev20entually slow down,14 stuttering against08 a wild card option02 before snapping ba96ck to land on DARE.
Obadiah looks over to Patience with an amused grin. “You mean Miles’ Stripper gram?”
“Wow. It took until the second whole contestant for them to fail to follow the rules.” Genevieve/i>/b/spanMalin looks like she’s trying to find which adjectives Cristal chose, but she does not press the woman, and as the Wheel of Fate lands on another ‘dare,’ she smiles helplessly. “Another dare. All right, Cristal Your dare is this. Try to seduce Matthew using only animal noises.”
“You certainly had yours,” Derek muses with a cordial upnod to August, crossing his arms as his eyes turn to Cristal with mute curiosity. “…She didn’t list her adjectives.” he mumbles with something of a wince.
Marlow gags silently, looking over at Patience.
Elliot glances from phone to Arachne to Cristal.
There comes a chuckle from Seraphina, a nod and vocal agreement of, “Hear, hear!” She winks at Arachne.
Matthew is smiling at the cameras when his eyes catch on what that crop top Cristal’s wearing might be baring. And just like that, he’s distracted from the blond’s free promo she’s possibly here for. “Oh, I love me some sauced up wings,” he says, voice low with a familiar spark of mischief that has him laughing like maybe nothing’s ever changed about this young uncle fuckboy. “Now let’s see what you got for me, Cristal!”
This dare was made for Cristal. She takes a deep breath to channel her inner spirit animal, the microphones picking up a meditative hum before she holds up her tiny hands like claws. “GRWWAAARRR!!! GRWWAAAR!” This bitch clearly does not have good listening skills because not only is she making the noises, she’s stomping around the stage like it’s charades. “GWRRRRAAAAWWWWW!!!” she howls towards the sky, “CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP- RAAAAAWRR!”
Even Mab fails to not look aghast by this particular contestant.
Obadiah watches Cristal for a moment as he crosses his legs at the knee, an amused grin on his face. To Nemi he lifts his shoulder gently as his sea green eyes watch over her. “We’ll see.”
Arachne struggles to withhold her laughter in the front rows, immediately ousted as the culprit as she presses her face into Aeryn’s shoulder, cheeks flushed as she gasps for breath.
Matthew watches the display unfold with widening eyes, his mouth parted somewhere between awe and amusement, but ultimately he’s saying, “Oh no. NO, NO no.” Backing away from Cristal like she might actually bite. When the final, ‘CHHOMPCHOMPCHOM-RAAAWRRR’ echoes off the stage he thrwos a hand over his heart. “I take it back, that’s the fire hazard. Somebody call animal control and yeet this woman off the stage!”
Cristal drops the T-Rex act, her face suddenly falling. “Wait! But I can fix you!” she blurts out!
Aeryn is absolutely gasping for air, pausing to fan herself with one hand.
August’s hand leaves his pocket, and both arms fold instead while August’s brow tips right on up in his stare at Cristal. The deadpan expression stays, and he does add to the side, towards the other contestants. “Well, I thought it was hot.”
Matthew nods at Malin when she leans in to whisper to him.
Jenny covers her face as she struggles not to laugh at the display, barely controlling it as some tears peek at the edges of her eyes, threatening to mess up her makeup
It is slowly that Malin raises her slender right hand to cover her lightly filler-enhanced lips as she watches Cristal perform for Matthew. “Thank you, Cristal. I think you may have Matthew raptor-ound your finger, now– or– never mind,” she corrects quickly.
The security guards come over to Cristal and get her strapped into a harness to use the bungee rig.
Kai bursts out laughing and covers her mouth with both hands, hazel eyes bright with merriment as they fall on Cristal and her T-Rex impression, she dissolves into giggling, her shoulders shaking as she watches the sight.
Patience bursts into laughter. She’d been able to restrain it briefly, but Matthew’s response has her just losing all that control. Hands clamp over her mouth to stifle it.
Looking all too amused, Seraphina tracks Cristal across the stage. She picks up her camera and snaps a picture. “Are they …. going to toss her over the building?”
Cristal gets taken away by security, escorted off the stage. She sighs theatrically, but is resigned to her fate as she gets strapped in.
But Mab still has the presence of mind to make sure the cameras zoom right in on Arachne laughing into Aeryn’s shoulder. At which she herself turns aside to the camera and says with a smirk, “I guess the Montrose A-Team have made their verdict known, but what will our Matty’s be? We all know he’s hot for hot wings!”
Cristal uses a reinforced rig for bungee jumping: 13The rig’s cord yanks its v13ictim into a hard, snapping77 bounce that flips them en76d over end mid-air, leaving40 them tumbling like a loos04e sock in a dryer! The pulley creaks into motion and methodically pulls them back to safety on the rooftop.
Scanning the contestants with a mischievous look, Charlotte/i>/b/spanAeryn lifts both brows, gasping at the unfolding scandal from the audience. One hand lifts to cover her mouth with her fingertips, clearly shocked.
Arachne widens her eyes as someone suddenly storms the set and tosses a glass of champagne at Kai’s feet, covering her mouth in scandalized shock with her hand.
Wincing, Malin somehow manages to look relieved that Cristal didn’t slam into anything. “Let’s hear it for Cristal,” she says, glancing over at the audience as she claps her hands security assists Cristal out of the harness.
“Up next, we have The People’s Boyfriend! Derek!” Malin is nodding to Derek. “An introduction. With three adjectives, please,” she seeks to remind.
Albert’s entrance into the game show currently going on is subtly stunted. A dark-skinned hand rests on the intricately-moulded silver head of his mahogany cane, and mirrored sunglasses mask whatever his opinion of what’s going on stage might be. The swarthy man kisses his teeth as he assesses the row of chairs joined together for audience… ‘participation’ in the ghastly spectacle taking place on stage, but he doesn’t look particularly apt to take a seat anytime soon, instead leaning on his cane to one side of the affair. Knuckles are buried beneath one another atop the cane upon which he leans. It does not take long for the man to return from which he came, despite the boisterous party atmosphere the game show’s denizens have put on. His walk is slow and leisurely, unbothered by the rambunctious audience. It isn’t a riot, after all.
Arachne widens her eyes as a woman suddenly storms the set and tosses a glass of champagne at Kai’s feet, covering her mouth in scandalized shock with her hand, before pulling a Jerry Springer exit.
Derek stands with poised interest, his shaded green gaze looking over at Matthew with a slight upcurl to his lips as fellow contestants speak, occasionally looking over to the stand before he looks back to him. For his part, his polo and blazer are left buttoned – proper, and perhaps formal.
When Derek is asked to approach then, he postures up, making his way forward in confident strides to the mic, tilting his chin up to the mic and looking towards the taller Matthew, slipping his shades off then. “Derek Fairchild.” he delivers in an even tone as he leans up to the microphone. “Opulent… Measured… Enigmatic.” He declares this in soft, cordial tones, playing at a sort of boy-next-door vibe, something of a wry smirk taking his expression. “Charmed to meet your discerning acquaintance.” Rich boy next door, perhaps.
Cristal manages to get out of the harness just fine and moves to the audience seats, asking something about a goodie bag and her two fiddy.
Glancing toward the champagne cart, Marlow takes a drink out of her own pocket, sipping serenely as she watches the stage.
Kai watches Cristal’s punishment for her failure, though when there’s commotion from the audience she jumps in surprise, drawn out of her lingering giggles as the woman in the crowd throws a glass near her feet. She takes a few backward steps and turns her head, a little ripple around her deflects errand pieces of sharp glass from piercing her legs before fading into invisibility. Once the woman calls her ‘Sally’, though, he throws her head back and lets out a laugh, rolls her eyes and folds her arms over her bare stomach, paying it no further mind as she looks to Derek.
Arachne’s/span>/spanMatthew watches Derek’s approach with a curiosity that draws lines across his brow. When the shades come off, he gives a slow appreciative once-over, no words, just a playful wink and a subtle nod like those eyes have supplied a very good secret. His smile lingers, crooked and interested, clearly interested.
After letting his words hang for a beat, Derek gives something of an upnod as he moves to spin the wheel, looking to Matthew still.
Derek uses a rhinestone-studded Wheel of Fate: 31The wheel29 clicks be28neath the 21rhinestone20-tipped po14inter befo08re driftin02g to a sto96p on DARE.
Mab/i>/b/spanMab sniffs at the indignity.
Eyes are pulled from the woman who threw the glass, seemingly relieved that Kai simply laughs off the rather dramatic expression, then snap over to the stage. “Ooooh, another Dare. Wonder what this one will be. No more t-rex, I hope,” Seraphina remarks, laugher spilling from her lips.
Holding up the bag of blood like it’s a Capri Sun, Marlow offers it toward Gabriel. “Thirsty?” she asks him when she notes his look. “We do,” Marlow agrees with Genevieve.
Quite pleased over the fact that Derek is capable of following directions, The People’s Boyfriend receives a broad smile from Malin. As Mab has that arm sling about her shoulders, she winks at the other woman, trying not to laugh. Meanwhile, the Wheel seems to like dares today. “Another dare! Give your best smoldering ‘come hither’ look directly into Matthew’s eyes, Derek.”
Obadiah motions to Patience and then scratches at his neck absently as he watches the contest.
Matthew leans back, assuming an air of neutrality, like a blank canvas wearing a daring smile for Derek to draw him from.
When Seraphina speaks, Arachne immediately begins tapping out a text on her phone, waving it toward Patience with a humored curl of her lips. She shifts, leaning toward Obadiah and Gabriel.
A moment of consideration is given to the wheel by Derek, his green-eyed gaze drifting to the camera as Malin declares his dare, and he closes his eyes, before turning heels towards Matthew, clasping his hands behind his back with casual confidence, tilting his chin up to Matthew as he slowly peeks his eyes open gradually, blinking once or twice slowly as he looks to meet Matthew’s gaze with soft allure, a slight smile tinging his expression as if inviting.
A supportive cousin, Dovie flashes Matthew two thumbs up.
“Do we really trust them to say anything hashtag-worthy if they get ‘truth’?” Marlow asks Genevieve, still sipping her blood bag. “Naughty. I thought you were supposed to be the good guys?” Marlow asks Patience, her blood-stained fangs visible as she smiles slowly.
Genevieve grins a little at the stage. “Gotta say, Derek’s kinda killing it.”
Arachne glances back at Jakem, glowing with pride for her younger cousin.
Arachne glances back at Genevieve, glowing with pride for her younger cousin.
Obadiah nods a little before saying, “Do we need more Fairchild-Montroses though? Well I suppose Matthew would be Montrose-Fairchild.”
“Yes,” Aeryn nods to Obadiah. “In this case, yes.”
Matthew holds Derek’s gaze, his own smile still in place, but it’s the kind of smile that spills trouble in five different languages. He leans back ever so slightly, like he’s the carrot and Derek’s the rabbit, just waiting to see the contestant’s willing to chase. Encouragements from the crowd are leagues away, all that exists is the game he’s decided to play, an unspoken dar tucked behind the Bachelor’s eyes. He rocks back a step, just one, inviting… challenging…
Until the cameras shift, and the moment’s tucked back into the wings with the rest of the contestants.
“Well, in the off chance something happens to who I’m voting for anyway,” Aeryn shrugs.
Genevieve applauds for Derek and Matthew from the audience quite enthusiastically.
“Wow, that’s a five alarm flirt alert,” Malin claims of Derek’s seductive gaze aimed at Matthew. Waiting until Matthew has decided if he’s tossing Derek off the building’s side or not, she shows off a wide smile, and seeing that Matthew approves of the gentleman, she says, “Thank you, The People’s Boyfriend!”
“Next up, we have Dovie,” and Malin feels the need to remind Dovie of the rules, just like she did for Derek after the whole Cristal experience. “Your name and three adjectives, please, and then use that wheel to find out your fate.”
Dovie steps out onto center stage and waves at the crowd, shooting a smile towards Matthew before she looks out at the crowd. She walks with the cool confidence of a girl with nothing to prove. “Hi everyone! Dovie Rose Fairchild. Driven, upbeat, and fashionable!” Without further ado, she spins the wheel, bouncing a little bit in place with excitement.
Dovie uses a rhinestone-studded Wheel of Fate: 31Lively, 29the wheel28 spins as21 the poin20ter clic14ks crispl08y, finall02y landing96 on DARE.
Arachne brings her hands up in excited applause for Dovie when she makes her debut on stage, gray eyes trailing after her toward the spinning rhinestone-studded Wheel of Fate when it, unsurprisingly, lands on DARE.
August’s/i>/b/spanAugust unfolds his arms to give a slow clap.
If Matthew has any qualms with the prospect of cousins competing for his love, then call this Arkansas cus here comes Dovie and he’s giving her all the smiles. Fashionable earns an approving nod and a scan of eyes that takes in her fashionista fit.
“Well, dares are certainly popular today,” Malin comments as Dovie who successfully introduces herself and then spins the wheel, and it lands yet again on the dare. “Dovie, try to seduce Matthew using gardening terms in your flirtations.”
Obadiah says “Ooo this is right up her alley.“
Nemi nods softly in agreement to Obadiah. “Agreed- She is one of the best gardeners in town I’d say.”
Gardens? Matthew visibly perks up at that, laying his best Montrose smile for the Fairchild. “What you got, Fairchild, you think we’ll lay down some roots?”
A winsome smile is provided from Derek as he makes his way back to August’s side, giving a flit of his brows, before his attention drifts to Dovie as she makes her introduction, attention looking to the wheel, then back to her as Malin speaks her dare; an amused smirk crosses his expression.
The dare brings a sunny smile to Dovie’s features. She turns, the skirts of her maxi dress swishing a moment with the movement as she faces Matthew.
“Matthew, I don’t mean to come on too strong, but you have me feeling like a sunflower in full tilt, just turning to you without even thinking. Your kind of handsome makes my heart skip a beat like fresh soil after the first rain. I’d love to get my hands on a little dirty planting something beside you. Maybe something slow-growing, deep rooted and a little wild?” She winks at that. “I really want to know. Do you come with instructions? Or should I just follow the light and see where we thrive?”
Matthew’s smile only grows, he’s clearly intrigued, amused, and visibly brightened by everything Dovie has to say. “Instructions?” he answers, huffing up a laugh, “Nah, but if you bring a towl and good intentions, I’m absolutely down to help you tend that garden.”
“Wow, these two might just get tangled like morning glories at sunrise,” Malin is claiming after Dovie sounds like she wants to cross-pollinate with Matthew. “Thank you, Dovie!” Next, she motions to Helen. “Helen, please give an introduction and three adjectives to describe yourself, and then use that wheel to learn your fate.”
Helen had been watching the other contestants, with a smile on her face during some moments and a slight smirk in others. She hears her name called to the stage, prepared, she rises up and approaches the center of it, smiling as she waves with fluttered fingers towards Matthew, “Hey Matthew, hope you enjoy all the attention tonight. Feels like being shot out of a cannon, doesn’t it?” She then turns towards the cameras, and the crowd, “My name is Helen Wagner, innovative, explosive, adventurous.” She approaches the wheel nearby now and gives it a good spin, the thing probably goes on rotating for longer than it really needs to and she lifts a hand to clear her throat softly into a fist as she watches it finally stop.
Helen uses a rhinestone-studded Wheel of Fate: 31Steadily,29 the point28er clicks21 over the 20pegs as t14he wheel s08pins befo02re landing96 on TRUTH.
Jenny perks up as the wheel finally lands on something not a dare
Feeling a gaze lingering upon her, Arachne’s/i>/b/spanMention of a cannon has Mab looking sincerely shocked. It’s not for the cameras. She shoots a glance over to Arachne and Aeryn in the audience, eyebrows raised.
August says “Finally. “
The Wheel of Fate has decided to make an exception for Helen after it’s long reign of handing out dares, and Malin smiles after listening to the woman. A glance is afforded Mab’s way, and she quickly wets her lips before informing Helen, “A truth. If your love life had a theme song, what would it be?”
Matthew watches Helen and smiel shifts instantly, no longer just charming, but warm with real fondness, the kind reserved for familia faces. “Helen,” he greets back, but the mention of cannons pulls a startled laugh from him, bright and sudden, his hand briefly lifting in mock surrender. His eyes flick nervously towards Mab.
Helen watches the wheel spin and spin and finally land on something other than dare. She looks mildly surprised and even more so intrigued as she looks from the wheel towards Malin, waiting for her truth to come. When the question is asked, she lets out a soft chuckle, looking back over to Matthew noew, as if the question was made simply for him to receive the answer. She gestures towards him, chuckling softly at his own laugh in that bright and sudden manner and she leans in closer and says, quietly, but loud enough for others to hear, “Don’t worry, genuine laughter like that is worth any price, just about…” She stands herself up straight afterwards and says, much louder this time, “I think a lot of people might often feel similar with their love lives, might be why we’re out here exposing ourselves for cameras, audiences, and Matthew, trying to see if we can make that connection everyone yearns for… I think mine might suitably be described by Flogging Molly – Worst Day Since Yesterday.” She smiles at Matthew and looks towards him again, “Hell says hello, well, it’s time I should go, to pastures green, that I’ve yet to see…” She reaches up to brush some of the errant strands of hair from her face and says, “See you in that pasture, Moothew.”
Matthew’s smile cranks right up the moment Helen starts speaking, his whole focus locked onto her like the rest of the world’s gone quiet. Each word pulls more of that warmth from him, until by the end he’s laughing – genuinely, shoudlers shaking as he forgets the polished Montrose performance netirely. “Alright, Helen,” he says, breathing out of a laugh, grinning, “You know how to walk that line between poetry and danger, no doubt.” He nods then, offering up a two finger salute, “I’ll see you in that pasture.”
Entirely amused by what Helen reveals, Malin nods her approval, especially after Matthew reacts to it. “What a moo-ving choice,” she tells Helen. “Thank you, Helen!”
And next up, it is Jakem. “Let’s welcome Jakem, now. Come on up to the microphone, introduce yourself with your name, give three adjectives to describe yourself, and use that wheel to discover your fate.”
Helen looks genuinly pleased by Matthew’s reaction, and she gives him a broad, wild grin before stepping away from the main stage area and letting the next contestant take their place, fluttering some fingers in the man’s direction and towards the audience and cameras, moving to settle herself back to watching and enjoying the show.
Cristal claps loudly, “Get em J!!! Don’t let ’em bungee y’ass!”
Jakem approaches the podium, half mask concealing who knows what behind it. Affecting a somber expression that might somewhat mimic elegance if he were not currently wiping his handheld mic off on some very 31e30x29p28e27n28s29i30v31e 41loo40king 39black 38slacks./i>Jakem uses a rhinestone-studded Wheel of Fate: 31Lively, 29the wheel28 spins as21 the poin20ter clic14ks crispl08y, finall02y landing96 on DARE.
Aeryn/i>/b/spanKai offers up an encouraging little set of applause for Helen after her statement and Matthew’s reaction to it, she clasps her hands in front of her, lightly rocking forward and back on her feet, focusing on keeping her posture straight, chin up and shoulders back as Jakem takes the stage, a small smile on her lips as she watches him get yet another ‘Dare’ verdict from the Wheel of Fate, her hazel eyes bright with curiosity of what the next dare will be.
It seems that Jakem can almost follow rules, so Malin doesn’t glance at the bungee rig just yet. The Wheel has decided it prefers dares over learning truths, so Malin says to Jakem, “Improvise a romantic poem about Matthew.”
Jakem tilts his head a bit as if to crack his neck, closes his eyes to focus maybe, or maybe he just likes showing off his eyeshadow?
Matthew is already grinning by the time Jakem hits ‘esteemed elegance’ and by the end of the monologue, he’s full Montrose, leaning one elbow on the edge of the podium like he was born to flit under stage lights. He flashes a wink to the man, “Alright, Jakem, let’s see what you got and maybe you’ll write and I’ll autograph it later.”
Jakem takes a deep breath, approaching Matthew with that same look of adoration in those pale green eyes. His words seem softspoken, but projected towards the nearest mic;
An Ode to the Mathew Montrose,@line With eyes that win hearts,@line Words prettier than a rose,
If our lips could touch once,
I would die happy as could be,
But perhaps a little more,
And I’ll visit unto thee,
A night you’ll remember,
And a life long with me.
Jakem takes a deep breath, approaching Matthew with that same look of adoration in those pale green eyes. His words seem softspoken, but projected towards the nearest mic;
An Ode to the Mathew Montrose,
With eyes that win hearts,
Words prettier than a rose,
If our lips could touch once,
I would die happy as could be,
But perhaps a little more,
And I’ll visit unto thee,
A night you’ll remember,
And a life long with me. (fixed)
The impressed look on Aeryn’s face fades somewhat, but she fixes a smile upon her lips regardless.
Matthew’s smile never falters, full of his stage-ready charm, a hand to his chest while Jakem’s poem is sweetly spoken. Flattery is rich, it’s practicalyl golden, and just barely leaves this bachelor unbroken…..
Or so he would have the audience and camera’s believe. “Thank you Jake,” he replies after, turning to nod in Malin’s direction.
Matthew doesn’t notice that he got the contestant’s name wrong. Maybe he just misspoke.
“Matt-ers of the heart expressed,” Malin shares, punning in Matthew’s name after that poem Jakem has just made up on the spot for Matthew. After Matthew, she says, “Yes, thank you, Jakem. That was very romantic.”
“Jenny, you are up next to discover your fate up here on stage. Please tell us your name, three adjectives to describe yourself, and then use that wheel,” Malin says to Jenny in a warm, welcoming tone.
Jenny steps up to the front of the stage as she is announced. Her sandals making the classic flip flop sound on the stage as she approaches. Her leather jacket unzipped to show the dress she is wearing underneath
She pauses giving a wink to Matthew before turning back to the crowd Hello! I am Jenny Fields. she says to the audience with a smile Intellectual, Eccentric, Adventurous and with that she turns to the wheel, and gives it a spin.
Matthew watches to Kai and then glances back towards Mab, briefly.
Jenny steps up to the front of the stage as she is announced. Her sandals making the classic flip flop sound on the stage as she approaches. Her leather jacket unzipped to show the dress she is wearing underneath
She pauses giving a wink to Matthew before turning back to the crowd “Hello! I am Jenny Fields.” she says to the audience with a smile “Intellectual, Eccentric, Adventurous” and with that she turns to the wheel, and gives it a spin. -fixed-
Jenny uses a rhinestone-studded Wheel of Fate: 31The wheel sh29immers as it 28spins, point21er clicking r20apidly befor14e slowing tea08singly and u02ltimately lan96ding on DARE.
Matthew/i>/b/spanThose dares just keep on coming, and Malin announces, “Another dare!” trying to sound surprised by this fact. Winking at Matthew, she flashes the male Montrose a bright smile. “All right, Jenny,” she’s informing Jenny of, “You get to do a mock proposal while on one knee, with passion, to Matthew.”
Matthew looks back at Mab one more time and then, Matthew is not smiling and without any explanation he shouts, “YEEET!” A moment after and the man says, unapologetically, “No dogs.”
A nod is given by Malin, and the security guards come over.
Promptly, the guards secure Jenny and start strapping her into the safety harness.
Cristal gasps at the stage. “Whhatt?!”
Arachne immediately sits up when Jenny is strapped into the safety harness.
Obadiah gives a two finger salute to Jenny. “Flight straight.”
William lifts his brows
Nemi raises her eyebrows softly. “Okay then…” She states. “I feel like that is setting her up for failure. Especially not telling the hostess that.”
Jenny seems to have been about to get on her knee, a flashlight pulled from her pockets to use as the ring before giving a chuckle “Fair, big reason I put on the jacket. Just incase.” before she is whisked away to the rig
Jenny uses a reinforced rig for bungee jumping: 76The bungee cord twangs unevenly, pitching its82 victim sideways and bouncing them wildly off88-centre with each rebound, as if it is just ma51king up physics as it goes. How terrifying! A20n automated pulley lift eventually kicks in, steadily reeling them back up to the platform.
Kai places her hand over her mouth to conceal her smile as she looks from Matthew to Jenny, her brows lifted just a bit as she waits for the woman to get bungeed by security.
Covering her face with her hands, Mab/b>/spanOnce Jenny has safely been retrieved, Malin gives a nod and the guards help the poor woman out of the harness.
A nod is given to Mab by Malin, and she murmurs, “I know, I know, but…” There’s quite a bit of gesticulating going on in Matthew’s direcition. “Anyway…”
“Last but not least, we have the beautiful Kaia! Please introduce yourself and give us three adjectives, then use the wheel!” the Swede is telling Kai.
Who knows why Matthew called that out for Jenny – who, by all accounts, is acnthing but a dog and in fact quite the opposite. Of course, the Bachelor doesn’t seem fazed by the moment – for once, maybe- already scanning the crowd with interest f or whoever’s name will be caleld next
Cristal relocates to sit next to Jenny. “You and me, some chicken wings and weed. Fuck these peeps!”
“Hey, here’s to a good sport, hey?” Mab calls out to the audience, clapping for Jenny as she bungee jumps off the stage. “She knew the risks and she took them anyway! The things we do for love.” She clasps both hands to her chest, then sends them out to the discarded ‘dog’ with a brief kiss of her fingers to blow it her way.
Kai strides to the mic, her skirts swishing abour her lower thighs as she takes the mic and glances sidelong to Matthew, her eyes half-lidding as she almost purrs into the mic, “Kaia Ashford, sweet, wild, and fun,” she gives him a wink and turns to the crowd, holds a peace sign up across her eyes as she winks at them as well, cocking her hip out and sticking her tongue out for a possible photo op. Then she spins around, hair and skirt flaring as she wanders to the wheel and gives it a hearty push.
Kai uses a rhinestone-studded Wheel of Fate: 96In a dazzling 02blur, the whee08l spins and the14 rhinestone-ti20pped pointer g21litters as it s28naps crisply o29ver each peg, c31licking in a s31teady rhythm b29efore drifting 28to a stop at W21ILD CARD TRUTH.20 You get to gi14ve the Bachelo08r a TRUTH 08quest02ion after perf96orming a TRUTH.
Obadiah looks at his phone when Nemi motions to it and frowns liking for something
The Wheel of Fate decides to be mysterious this time around, and Malin/b/span is glowing with pride over that rhinestone bedazzled thing. “All right, Kaia,” she coos out to Kai. “Truth. If you were a cocktail, what kind would you be, and why would Matthew want to drink you?”
“Ooooooooh,” Mab excitedly calls out when the wheel lands on a rare double truth! Winking over at the camera, she confides aside with the back of her hand shielding her mouth, “I’ve got a good feeling about this contestant.”
Matthew watches someone’ entrance wit ha smile that starts confident but falters somewhere between her wink and that peace-sign tongue-pop combo. His head tilts, eyes narrowing slightly, not with judgement but with the wary curiosity of a man trying to read a book in the wrong language. There’s a beat where he just… stares, clearly uncertain if he’s intrigued, alarmed, or both. When she spins the wheel, he leans back a touch, watching as it lands TRUTH for TRUTH. He nods.
Matthew watches Kai’s entrance wit ha smile that starts confident but falters somewhere between her wink and that peace-sign tongue-pop combo. His head tilts, eyes narrowing slightly, not with judgement but with the wary curiosity of a man trying to read a book in the wrong language. There’s a beat where he just… stares, clearly uncertain if he’s intrigued, alarmed, or both. When she spins the wheel, he leans back a touch, watching as it lands TRUTH for TRUTH. He nods.
Kai strides confidently back to the mic, even as she fiddles with her phone, there’s a couple seconds of silence and her hazel eyes glance Matthew’s way, bright as she gives him a flirty little smile, “I’d be a Screaming Orgasm, because once he gets his lips around me, that’s exactly what I’d be,” he purrs into the mic and brushes her hair back away from her face. The crowd is once more given a wide, chipper smile and she flashes her fingers up in a peace symbol at them.
Cristal cheers at the stage. “Damn girlll!!! I like this one.” She claps loudly.
Arachne rounds her eyes at Kai’s brazen words to Matthew, immediately turning her eyes upon her cousin to see his reaction. She nudges Aeryn lightly, leaning in to her cousin at her side.
“Some drinks do hit the spot,” Malin confesses to the audience after Kai’s proclamation. “Thank you, Kaia, now, you get to give a ‘truth’ request to Matthew.”
Mab fans herself melodramatically at Kai’s spicy line.
For the third time in the evening, Aeryn’s face drops to her palms, and her head slowly shakes, perhaps at some odd mental image of her cousin on stage. Widened eyes turn to glance at Arachne, finding the same expression also on her features.
Kai rests one hand on her hip as she looks at Matthew, her index finger lightly taps at her chin, her features pensive as she asks Matthew, “If you were a kind of horse, what kind would you be and whyever would I want to ride you?” she asks in faux-innocence, giving a wide-eyed side-eye to the camera, her lips curved into a playful smil.e
Cristal wolf-whistles at Kai on stage. “Hellyeahhhh!”
Staring at Kai, Elliot mouths, with his bleary-eyed squint marring his countenance, “What the fuck…”
Matthew grins wide, clearly reveling in the chaos of that question. “I’d be a black stallion,” he drawls, letting it hang just long enough, “Fast, proud…” he takes a step closer to Kai, “a little wild. Mega stud status, obviously.” He leans closer, though, angling just so for the cameras to get the shot.
” But you’d never ride me, because I don’t offer up rides to people who look like my janitor.” With a dramatic swivel, he shoots Malin a look and yells, “YEEEEEEEEET!” Like it’s the only reasonable response.
“Even my cat liked this one,” Mab tells the camera, which promptly then pans to focus on the hairless white cat currently prowling his way amid the audience seating, weaving between their legs and soliciting attention. In fairness, that cat seems to like everyone, a bit like the Bachelor himself.
Mab gasps in shock when Matthew demands Kai be yeeted.
Aeryn’s mouth falls open, eyes wide and staring at Matthew without pause to blink.
Kai bursts out laughing when Matthew declares ‘yeet’ and lifts her arms, approaching the security guards willingly with a good-natured grin on her face, she gives one last wink to the audience.
The arrival of Alphonse and Lupita has Mab wrinkling her nose, tracking their movements amid the audience.
With Matthew refusing Kai, the guards head over and assist her in getting into the bungee harness, to promptly send her off on a brief journey as Malin watches on.
“Whoa there! Apparently Matthew isn’t that into happy hour!”
Kai uses a reinforced rig for bungee jumping: 29The cord stretches 28and rebounds so for27cefully that the vi91ctim is yo-yoed bac56k up past the jump 55platform before plu92mmeting again in a d93izzying double drop94. Smoothly, the lif95t system reels the 59victim back in and 23places them safely 17back on the rooftop.
Kai presses her hands down over her rear and between her thighs to keep her skirt from flipping to far up as she’s bungeed, letting out a squeal of laughter until she’s got her feet firmly back on solid ground, she gives her hair a toss and heads down into the crowd, taking her spot beside Cristal.
The guards assist after Kai safely retuns to the rooftop, and Malin/i>/b/spanMalin speaks to the audience. “The Wheel of Fate has spun, hearts have leapt, and some of you have quite literally gone flying.” A nod is given to the bungee rig. “I really do hope that view was lovely!” she says to Cristal and Jenny. “To our fearless contestants, whether you are moving on to round two, or taking the leap and going home with one of our Oprah-esque gift bags, you have given us boldness, and charm, and televised moments you might regret later. We love that for you!” Then she’s blowing a kiss to the contestants.
“Matthew, you get to choose the top three now, and send the others on their way to the bungee jumping.”
Obadiah looks at his phone then nods to Arachne and Gabriel. A brief nod to Nemi. “I need to scoot. My distributor is calling.”
Aeryn is once again on the edge of her seat, leaning forward and watching Matthew with anticipation.
Kai sits up straight, extends the phone in front of her, smiles, winks her eye shut and puts her fingers out in a peace sign in front of her.
Mab sniffles, wiping her eyes. “This is always the hardest part of the show,” she cries for the camera, “watching hearts break, hopes dashed …”
Arachne nods to Obadiah, motioning him to rise wit her as she moves to stand with Gabriel.
Gabriel flicks a brief wave to Obadiah and stands with Arachne.
Alphonse, carrying along Lupita does a quick scan through the crowd. He clicks his tongue slightly, especially upon being noticed by Mab, but doesn’t stay long. Just waving at a few familiar faces.
Cristal hmmmphs at Jakem.
Dovie watches Matthew curiously.
Matthew walks the rows of contestants, starting with the first of the night August, “That dance still lives on in my mind,” he coos to the man, producing a bottle of hotsauce, “And I hope you’ll consider this hot sauce the first ingredient to you, me, and some fire. This way we can season our first date just right.”
The Bachelor continues his walk down the line, passing contestant after contestant until he’s standing there before Dovie. The Fairchild earns a bright smile, his head tipping down to regard her for the span of a heartbeat. “Dovie, I want you to take this bottle of hot sauce so we can see just how spicy things get in the garden when we go out.” He winks and is then moving on, continuing to study each along the row.
It’s when Matthew arrives at Helen that the Montrose comes full stop, passing her a bottle, “Let’s not be a one-spice stand, I say we turn up the heat and go on a date.”
With that he turns, selections made, as the security team begins to approach, ready to escort the remaining contestants towards the bungee cords with practiced efficiency.
Cristal yells at someone. “SMILE J, I’M TAKING A PIC!”
Dovie takes the bottle of hot sauce, holding it close. “Oh wow, I can’t wait for the date!”
Security guards escort Jakem and Derek to the bungee rig after Matthew has made his choice. Meanwhile, Malin is applauding for August, Dovie, and Helen, leaning in towards Mab and giving her a faint little shrug and a bit of a scrunch of her nose — but only briefly, as she needs to show her ‘good-side’ to the camera and she’s taking on that perfect angle again.
“Congratulations, you three! We’ll be organizing individual dates for you, and after that, you’ll get to participate in a masquerade where the winner will go home with one thousand dollars! Thank you all for participating.” She looks to the audience after and tells them, “And thank you for coming to watch these brave souls!”
Aeryn applauds from where she sits, a smirk on her lips.
Derek uses a reinforced rig for bungee jumping: Instead of a clean drop, the cord swings the victim in a huge, pendulum-like arc, s18ending them swaying f54ar out over the city 92and back in with dizz93ying force. The lift 87system engages at lea81st, drawing them upwa75rd in a smooth, patie69nt ascent to put them69 back on the rooftop.
Jakem uses a reinforced rig for bungee jumping: 30The poor victim is flung into a st23eep, spiraling descent. Twisting i16n fast, tight circles, the cord fo10rces them to look like a sentient c04orkscrew before snapping them back98 upright. A low whir signals the p62ulley’s start, and it gradually dr26aws the victim back up to the roof.
Helen watches Matthew approach August and Dovie, offering them the hot sauces to be on the next episode of the show. With only one spot left, she looks as he walks through the contestants and full-stops in front of her. She gives another big grin to the man as she takes the hot sauce bottle into her hands, “Wouldn’t want to be a one-spice stand, when we could have a whole spice rack together, Matthew.” She looks down the line and says, “Everyone did really well, congratulations to you two as well!” She tucks the hot sauce against her chest, and looks to have a genuine smile on her face.
Dovie/b/span>/spanDescending from the stage, Mab starts to approach the losing contestants with the camera crew, a sympathetic smile on her face. “I’m sorry, my cousin is a notorious heartbreaker,” she admits, clasping a hand over her chest. “Do any of you want to deliver your confessions about the contest? Share some of the behind the scenes drama? Was there jealousy? Was there scheming?” She waggles her eyebrows.
Derek’s green-eyed gaze rests on Matthew with a slight smile, expression scantly masking his anticipation, before his brows flit as Matthew goes along with distributing the hot sauce, person to person… And not any sauce for himself. He looks to the guards off to his sides with mute interest, lifting his hands nonchalantly as the guards approach, giving a smirk to the camera as he drifts along then to the bungee; he waits with anticipation, before he’s yote; he laughs as the cord swings him along in a pendulum-esque arc, seeming filled with glee as he drifts along out towards the city, extending his arms wide before he’s gradually drawn upward by the lift, seeming a little hypomanic as he’s drawn back; he gives his blazer a couple brushes, before making his way to the seats.
Cristal raises her hand. “I got some things to say!” She rushes to the confessional.
Malin smiles widely as Mab encourages those present to partake in the booth. “Please do! We want to hear your thoughts on the event, on each other, all of it!”
Aeryn rises from her seat, joining Malin on the stage after the bottles find their new homes.
Climbing into the confessional booth with Cristal, Mab tells her, “Well this is cosy, isn’t it? Just you and me in here.” (And cameras and a microphone for everyone to watch from outside.) “Tell us everything, Cristal,” Mab urges Cristal with a pout. “I can’t believe he wasn’t seduced by hot wings.”
Cristal sits her ratchet ass down in the confessional booth. She adjusts her crop top to make her boobs pop some more. “I knowww, righhht?” Cristal sighs at Mab. “Kay, so like,” Cristal looks at Mab and the camera, her eyes rolling a little. “I lost. But like y’know who the real loser here is? Matthew! Not cuz he’s like a loser-loser, cuz he’s like still really hot so he’s not like ever gonna be a works a K-Mart part time kinda loser. He just losin OUT! He can still like call me or whatever though, or he can come by my club, the House of Luck Night Club on 91 Hawthorn Street!”
Helplessly smiling over Mab and Cristal in the booth, and the camera crew is now focused on them — double filming what they can, Malin releases a content sounding little sigh and she reminds contestants, “Don’t forget your gift bags! Also, if you won and you want one, please feel free to take one. And anyone else still here, even if you didn’t compete, and you want one.” As Aeryn approaches, her smile grows wider and she asks, “What did you think?”
Dovie walks over to August and Derek. “Great job!” A wave is given to Matthew, and a curtsy. “So pleased to be in the next round, I’ll catch you soon, perhaps? Or is it cheating to meet in the wild?”
Now that the show is over Matthew filters back, making his way off the stage, a smile granted to the contestants, watching quietly up until Dovie comes his way.
Jenny thinks she isnt using multiples right for this
“The best thing I’ve seen in ages,” Aeryn winks to Malin. “I’m a bit sad there won’t be many more of these.”
“Preach it, sis,” Mab tells Cristal with a nod, demonstrating no loyalty whatsoever to her own flesh and blood right now, probably because everything she’s saying fits his brand anyway. “House of Luck Night Club on 91 Hawthorn Street!” she echoes. “Where you can find the hottest wings … and other things.” She wiggles her brows.
Helen takes her bottle of hot sauce and tucks it gently into her shoulder bag. She looks over towards Cristal and seems rather amused, but then she notices the cat trying to solicit for some attention. She walks over and begins to give some of that wanted attention, a few pets here and there, smiling and rising back up to stand. She walks over towards Matthew and Malin, “Looking forward to the next part of all of this, it was really fun, and thank you for it all. I need to head out though and handle a few things before it gets too late.”
Matthew smiles and nods his head at Dovie, “Oh, it’s not cheating,” he assures, “And the next round will be one on one, of course, on a date–” he glances towards the film crew, “and the cameras of course.” A bob of his head and the Montrose relays, “It’ll be fun. I can’t wait.”
“Neither can we,” Aeryn assures Matthew.
Proudly, Malin winks right back at Aeryn, and she says, “I’m so glad, but I promise I have many, many more ideas.” Looking to Helen, she says, “Congratulations, Helen, and I’m so glad you made it. If you could say a quick thing in the booth with Mab, though, that’d be amazing! Before you run off!”
Cristal gasps at Mab. “Oh mi gawd, y’real good at this!” she insists. “But like I got some more tea for y’all! I think Jenny actually a real contender and like another missed OPP. Imma throw a chicken wing party for everyone one of these days and y’all still invited cause I ain’t a sore loser, but y’know what I also noticed? Like I guess Matthew don’t like spicy as much as he says cuz anyone who was a lil spicy, he YEETED!”
Matthew smiles at Helen, “Bye,” he says, “I’ll se you soon.”
Dovie nods and waves.
Derek’s brows flit to someone, a slight smile presented. “Thank you, dear.” he states with of a dip of his chin, before adding, “I hope that your date goes swimmingly.”
“So you’re saying our Matthew is really a softie at heart?” Mab asks Cristal with a gasp, “Maybe he’s really ready to settle down and find true love after all!”
“Yes, girrrl!” Cristal agrees with Mab, on the first point at least. She makes a face at the second. “I dunno bout the love thing tho. Like he straight up said he ghosts people! That’s like somethin ya tell ya therapist. Not ya possible dates, get me??? Like if my friend comes in tellin me she met this hottie who said that? I’d be like. Damn. Hit it. Quit it. On with life. Y’know? That’s the one thing I really think kinda worryin. Ain’t ya think it kinda an issue? Everyone kinda breeze over it but…” She taps the side of her head. “Cristal was listennin.”
Matthew is totally and completely oblivious to the confessional, at least for now, seemingly content with being off camera as he shifts to find a quiet seat as a happy wallflower.
Derek clears his throat, before he spins about-heel from his place with something of an amused smile on his expression, snagging a goody bag before giving the affable Sphynx cat one or two pets, then making his way off, departing without much fanfare.
Matthew calls to someone, “Bye, thanks for competing!”
“Cristal Clarity,” Mab says to Cristal in awe. “You are a truth teller! Ok, let’s hear some more confessions from other contestants.”
Cristal nods at Mab and bops out of the confessional!
“See you soon,” Helen says to Matthew as she walks over towards the booth, waving to Malin and the others. She gives some time for Cristal to be able to finish and then would step herself in not to interrupt, remarking to one of the cameras and Mab, “I really enjoyed seeing Matthew laugh like he did when we interacted, getting a truth was a change of pacing. Hopefully I can say with confidence in the future that the song to describe my love life is different than it was today, but I’m glad to be on the next episode of the show, and hopefully everyone can have fun and enjoy themselves, make some real connections. I’m eager to see what sort of date is planned and what it brings out in us that lets us learn more about one another, adventurous was one of the adjectives I used for myself and that will hold true on whatever comes next.” She reaches in her bag to take out the hot sauce and holds it up towards someone and the camera, “Look at this bottle and the picture of Matthew, something, right?” She smiles and flutters a wave towards the camera, lowering the hot sauce bottle and the picture of Matthew with his shirt off and those perfect abs.
“See you soon,” Helen says to Matthew as she walks over towards the booth, waving to Malin and the others. She gives some time for Cristal to be able to finish and then would step herself in not to interrupt, remarking to one of the cameras and Mab, “I really enjoyed seeing Matthew laugh like he did when we interacted, getting a truth was a change of pacing. Hopefully I can say with confidence in the future that the song to describe my love life is different than it was today, but I’m glad to be on the next episode of the show, and hopefully everyone can have fun and enjoy themselves, make some real connections. I’m eager to see what sort of date is planned and what it brings out in us that lets us learn more about one another, adventurous was one of the adjectives I used for myself and that will hold true on whatever comes next.” She reaches in her bag to take out the hot sauce and holds it up towards Mab and the camera, “Look at this bottle and the picture of Matthew, something, right?” She smiles and flutters a wave towards the camera, lowering the hot sauce bottle and the picture of Matthew with his shirt off and those perfect abs.
“See you later, Helen,” Malin coos after Helen. “Have a wonderful rest of your night!”
Also hopping out of the confessional for now, Mab heads to the stage with her footage and remarks to those gathered there, more seriously now that the cameras are off, “We need to find a ship name for Helen and Matthew, I can’t come up with anything. Hell-something?”
Aeryn says “Mahel? No…“
Aeryn says “HellMatt “
Aeryn seems dissatisfied with both answers.
Matthew calls out to supply his own answer, “Hell-thaw”
Mab snaps her fingers and points at Matthew. “HellThaw,” she concurs.
“Mathelen,” Malin says. “It sounds like arithmetic, and like… math is sexy because it’s all about curves and finding the right angles, and maybe Helen is Matthew’s solution set. Maybe she’ll complete his equation.”
Cristal looks around sneakily before she grabs another goody bag and absconds!
“I love the idea of Hell thawing,” Mab says with a clasp of her hands to her chest. She glances uncertainly at August, but mostly everyone except the inner circle is gone now, so she drops the showmanship for now. “Hey you all did so great. I hope I wasn’t doing too much, Malin.”
Matthew unwinds bit by bit as more contestants filter out, slowly easing out of his role in the spotlight. He settles with his arms loosely crossed on his chest and a relaxed slouch in the chair. He is nodding to nobody in particular, silently approving Malin’s nickname.