Constance shrugs. “Well, it’s the only way of getting out. Worst thing that could happen is it instantly kills us, right?”, she states, as if that was completely normal to say, as she walks forward to go into it.

“Oh God, it’s going to turn us gay!” Buck/b>/spanConstance disappears into the portal, disappearing completely as she walks into the multicolored depth. As the water reaches up to her knees, Eloa cries out and jumps in after the other two.

On the other side of the portal is a sea of grass. Grass that reaches everyone’s knees. Soft, fluttering in the wind. The sky itself looks like someone has taken an adaptation of one of the doctor who episodes and there are massive planets in the sky, some ringed like saturn, others with continents and water like earth. Infront of them, a man awaits, dressed in a simple robe like a wizard from Harry Potter. The man’s face is beautiful. Almost too beautiful for one to keep looking at. And cruel. “Welcome … my lovers.” The man tells the three infront of him, “I have chosen you three to alleviate my ennui for the next century.”

“Uh…” Buck says as he looks around himself to find the portal again, “Well, you should buy us dinner first, sir. We’ve hardly gone on a first date.”

The portal unfortunately is gone. And at Buck’s words an entire table full of food, every kind imaginable appears. There’s even a lobster… that’s moving, while the back of it has been carved into sashimi.

Constance slowly blinks, her shoulders slumping. “Again,” she sighs. “You say you’ve chosen us? So you… know anything about us?”, she asks, brow furrowing. “Surely you realise that might be, ah, a poor idea?”

Falling silent behind of Constance and Buck, Eloa just seems very worried. She squeaks a little as the food appears, moving to hide behind Buck.

“Please there is nothing to fear here. You are all very different in your own ways. Which is why I thought that by bringing you all together, there would be more enjoyment. More drama. More life.” The man states, his voice booming and accented like he’s used to speaking from long ago, although he uses modern day english.

“I’m a terrible lover, bud.” Buck says as he slips a hand in his pocket and pulls out his pack of smokes. He puts one between his lips and lights it up, taking a few puffs and then he blows smoke towards the man casually. “I can give you some recommendations, though.”

Constance sighs again. “Alright, well, whatever,” she murmurs. “I guess I had been complaining about having nothing to do with myself after running out of adrenaline for the Highgate election…” She squints over at Buck and Eloa. “I doubt you’ll manage to convince them, though, and I like fighting a lot more than I like fucking, so good luck.”

The man gives a creepy, cruel smile towards Buck, “Oh I think you will make a fantastic lover. Given enough.. motivation no?” He gestures with his fingers and Buck finds his cigerettes turn to… raspberry liquorice. And he’s huffing on a raspberry liquorice. Turning his intense blue eyes over to Constance, the man gives another smile, “I can summon all manners of beasts and monsters for you to fight. And then when you’re lusty from the fight we will fuck yes?” The man asks with a gesture towards the table, “But you’re right. I have no ‘dated’ you three yet. Please eat. And we will play a little game hmm? If you win you can go home. If you lose well…. You will stay with me for the next century. I can return you to your time even.”

Furrowing his brow, Buck blinks as he shrugs and starts to eat the liquorice. Sitting down at the table, he asks, “So are you some kind of Fae? God? Devil?” he pokes the man verbally to see if he can figure out what the motivation is for this being, “So what are the rules of this game? I’m leaning Fae, which is why I doubt I want to eat any of this food. I did bring in the cigarette, so equal exchange, I suppose.”

Constance likewise sits down next to Buck, still towering over most present. Silent, she listens.

Hiding behind of Buck, Eloa seems sure one of the two will save her right? So she goes to the table when the fae suggests and uses a fork to poke a little bit of the sashimi from the back of the still moving lobster. She dips it in soysauce and chews it before looking over at the man, “Is Lobster feel pain?” She asks in that innocent brazilian voice.

“Very. Lobsters are very sensitive and continue to feel pain for a long time.” The man tells the brazilian who abruptly spits whatever she hasn’t eaten into her hand. Turning back to Buck, the man smiles slowly, “I am known as Eli. A true fae. Not like the shadows of those that walk around these days with their pitiful amount of power and blood.” He turns his gaze to Eloa who is trying to pat the lobster as if that would make up for eating it. “Charming as some of those who contain fae blood may be.”

Buck and Constance’s favorite foods suddenly appear on the table infront of them.

Constance’s smile becomes frozen on her face as she realizes how fucked she is. Metaphorically. “Okaayyyyy, uh, thank you, Mr. Eli. I think I would like to hear about your game now. I couldn’t dare impose on your hospitality if I’m not intending to stay…”

“Eli, True Fae, let us give you a minute.” Buck says as he looks over the table set in front of him. “If you’d like to enjoy this meal, why don’t we give you space and time. Tell us about yourself?”

“Ahh that is not what I am here for. You are here to break my ennui.. My last lovers… only lasted a decade before I got too bored of them..” There’s a gesture behind him and suddenly the three see a pillar where three people are dangling by their wrists on shackles. One of them has been disembowled. The other is covered in welts and whip marks while the third has a dozen ravens pecking at his flesh. Horrifying all three of them seem alive and are moving. “So why don’t we hear about /yourselves/.” The fae insists turning to smile at Constance at the smile frozen on her face. The man walks forward, gently reaching up to run a finger down Constance’s cheek before turning to do the same to Buck, “My pretties.” He definitely seems to include Buck in that pretty statement. “And then I will play any game you suggest for your freedom.”

Meanwhile off to the side it looks like Eloa is trying to return the half chewed and soysauced piece of lobster sashimi back into the lobster…

Constance swallows quietly on nothing, taking in a deep breath of appreciation and hesitance as she is confronted with the abject suffering of her predecessors. “My name is Cardinal of Thorns Lucida, of the Hollow Conclave. I fight to capture others, and now I find myself the one imprisoned. As which always happens to a warrior,” she mutters.

Wandering over to the three pillars, Buck motions a nonchalant hand at the True Fae as he murmurs, “Eli, I don’t give you my attention.” he murmurs as he starts talking to the three chained ex-lovers, “So, what did Eli give you in your contract? Certainly he didn’t break the ancient rites of -Hospitality- in leaving you with these gifts of disembowelment…” he motions to the first one, “And boils…” the second, “and this wonderful skin treatment without getting a likewise gift, hmm?”

Unfortunatley for Buck the three are quite a distance away. So not really in conversational distance. But they’re not really in a talking state anyways. If Buck has accurate hearing he might hear some distant moaning.

The man turns back to Constance given Buck isn’t speaking with him. “Mmm Miss Lucida. I know. I have watched you from the shadows. Seen you fight. Don’t you want to come to my bed.. after fighting my warriors? My dogs? My wolves?” The man leans against the table, which seems rather stable and reaches out to grasp Constance’s chin, “Come to my bed wet with the blood of your foe. I might even let you fight me before I over power you.” He turns his head as if that’s the most seductive idea ever.

Buck still wanders a small ways away from the table, loitering just annoyingly enough out of conversational distance of The True Fae so that Eli would have to raise his voice to call him back the twenty feet or so of meandering saunter he’s gone.

Having returned the half eaten lobster piece to the lobster whose still twitching and moving, Eloa bites her lip as she watches the true fae flirt with Constance and Buck wonder off. Sitting at the table, she likely decides not to eat anything else.

Giving a nod to the three on the pillars, Buck has a smile creep across his face, “Oh, Eli. If I name the game will you provide the props for it? After all, we came here with not much on us and in order to play a grandiose game that is worthy of yourself we must have these trivial things to play it properly.”

Turning his attention from Constance to Buck as Buck comes back, the true fae inclines his head, “But of course. What props would you like?” The man asks as he beckons Buck to come closer with a finger, “My inquisitive one.”

“Do you do measures and weights in Metric or Imperial. I want to make sure that we get this most accurate.” Buck adds.

“Metric.” The man replies with some amusement in his voice a tiny hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.

“Good, good. Then it will be a Metric Ton. What sort of vessel would you put a Metric Ton of a substance in?” Buck asks.

Buck suddenly finds his own feet moving for him towards the fae who reaches out to touch Buck’s lips, “Ask and you shall recieve.” Next to them, a meter, by meter, by meter square of glass appears. Filled with water. “A metric ton for you my dearest. I think you will be the most fun in bed?” The man asks, his blue eyes gleaming as he looks at Buck.

Buck suddenly finds his own feet moving for him towards the fae who reaches out to touch Buck’s lips, “Ask and you shall recieve.” Next to them, a meter, by meter, by meter square of glass appears. Filled with water. “A metric ton for you my dearest. I think you will be the most fun in bed, don’t you*?” The man asks, his blue eyes gleaming as he looks at Buck.

Reaching up his finger to place it on the finger and push himself away, Buck says, “I wasn’t finished, Eli the True Fae.” Buck says with a grin, “The game is one of patience. Would you like to know the rules and what substance we will need two metric tons of, one for us and one for you?”

Constance exhales, having been holding her breath as Eli holds her chin. She looks uncertainly towards Buck, as if seeking guidance or rescue.

“I suppose when you’ve been alive for as long as I have. Patience is a must. Not just a virtue.” The man tells Buck with a soft sigh as Buck pushes himself away. He reaches out to brush Buck’s cheek with a knuckle. “Go on to explain your game then.”

“We will be moving grains of dust. Shavings, really. Miniscule shavings from one vessel to another.” Buck says as he wanders near the table to a flat spot on the ground as he points to a place, “Each of us will need a full and an empty vessel. Moving a metric ton of these shavings of dust from one full vessel to an empty vessel, one grain at a time. Now, you see we have three and you have one, so obviously we have an advantage, but know that we still must sleep and eat and you are so very powerful so you have such an advantage on our poor, weak vessels.”

“At any time Us or You can give up. You can say ‘I quit’ and lose the game. Now also know that we have not yet started playing the game, so when I said that, it was not a loss. Would you like to hear what the shavings of sand we are moving is made from?” he says with a dramatic pause.

Putting a finger to his lip, the fae god looks over at Buck tilting his head back and Buck explains his premises. “Very well. Explain your game fully.” He tells the man, seeming intrigued as he leans over to wrap his arm around Constance’s shoulder. “All your other friends are going to play this game to? Do they understand?” He asks as he strokes Constance’s hair, not seeming to mind how tall the woman is. “Do you know how to place Dear Lucida?”

Putting a finger to his lip, the fae god looks over at Buck tilting his head back and Buck explains his premises. “Very well. Explain your game fully.” He tells the man, seeming intrigued as he leans over to wrap his arm around Constance’s shoulder. “All your other friends are going to play this game to? Do they understand?” He asks as he strokes Constance’s hair, not seeming to mind how tall the woman is. “Do you know how to play* Dear Lucida?”

Constance shakes her head. “I’m hearing it for the first time same as you are,” she states, cautiously allowing the contact. She hopes it will make him more confident in victory, because she has a sneaking suspicion about what Buck’s about to say.

Holding up a finger, Buck pauses for dramatics, “Remember we’re going to painstakingly move each of these grains one at time. It’s going to be so endlessly boring for you for each moment. And these little metal shavings will be made out of something that you absolutely hate…” Buck gives Eli a grin, “Grains of Cold Iron Sand.”

“Are you sure you do not want to play a game of chance? My dashing one?” The man asks as he looks over at Buck, waving a hand to empty the fish tank. The meter by meter by meter glass is now empty and a pile of sand sits about a meter away from it as well. “Where you may have a chance of winning? By pure luck?” The fae’s eyes widen at Buck as if surprised he would choose this.

“Look, bud. I’ve got all the time in the world. I’ve got a lot more patience than ten years in me, and I guess if you stop moving sand, you forfeit, don’t you? Stopping playing is certainly the worst kind of loss.” Buck says with a big grin. “Look, I file papers for a living, I observe the most minute of body language changes. I’m probably just a little obsessive compulsive. This is exactly the kind of game I enjoy.”

Constance snorts as Eli posits a game of luck. “No one has luck like a fae,” she murmurs.

“Sure.” A second pile of sand appears and another cube appears. Eloa meanwhile seems to have other ideas. She walks up to where Constance is being hugged by the fae, “Ola Mister Fae. Eloa can throw coin? Heads Eloa go home?” The latina asks. “Tails Eloa play again. Is what want right? Play games with Mister Eli?” The latina gets an inquisitive look as she holds out a single coin on her palm.

“Those of you who want to move sand.. Please go ahead.” Eli tells Constance and Buck as he turns his attention to the angelic fae girl infront of him. “Very well. Toss your coin.”

Constance moves over and starts scooping up sand, grimacing as she begins the long and tedious work, hoping the fae will break before she does.

Tails the first time, Eloa bites her lip as she looks at the coin then over at the someone, “Is can try again?” She asks as she holds out the coin. Another regal nod is given although Eli turns to look at Constance, “A single grain at a time Lucida. Was your other lover’s idea.”

Tails the first time, Eloa bites her lip as she looks at the coin then over at the fae, “Is can try again?” She asks as she holds out the coin. Another regal nod is given although Eli turns to look at Constance, “A single grain at a time Lucida. Was your other lover’s idea.”

“One grain at a time, Connie.” Buck says as he goes over to the whole metric ton of sand, “I’m sure you’ll just love the absolute boredom of this, Eli.”

Constance grimaces, nods, then goes back to one grain at a time.

Another tails, Eloa sighs as she watches Constance and Buck moving their single grains of sand, “Is buck have really nice ass right?” She asks the fae man who turns to watch Buck bend over to pick up a grain of sand.

While the fae is distracted, Eloa just puts the coin at heads, “Oh look is heads.” She tells the fae who narrows his eyes when he looks back but is too distracted by Buck’s booty apparently. “Very well. I will come for you another time. You’re free to go.” The fae mutters as he turns back to Buck.

Buck is sorting through miniscule grains of cold iron sand as he gets just a pinch of it and lets it slowly drain out into the palm of his other hand until he holds a single grain. He holds it up and squints at it before he moves to the empty vessel and drops it in, “One.” he says cheerfully as he meanders back to the massive container of sand and says to Constance, “You should count each grain, it’ll be fun!”

“Is can win freedom for other people too?” Eloa asks as she looks at the two of her companions who are counting grains of send. She gestures to Buck to bend over more by crooking her finger and pointing down at the sand. “Eloa roll for Buck and Miss Lucida.”

Given the fae probably isn’t particularly keen to move grains of sand like Buck is enthusiatically doing, he nods his head, “Very well. Toss the die.”

The fae goes back to looking at Buck and Constance as if trying to work out why these humans are so boring while Eloa is gesturing from behind them pulling at her dress while pointedly pointing at Constance and Buck.

After sorting another -single- grain of cold iron sand, Buck happily traipses towards the vessel and he dramatically says, “Oh no!” as he seems panicked. “I dropped my grain!” he does a picture perfect bend alllll the way down, with a little shake of his butt towards the True Fae to distract him.

Constance can’t help but quietly jibe, “Damn. I thought you were supposed to drop the bakery but I guess we’ve reverted back to just dropping your granary…”

Seeming relieved that Buck finally understands Eloa’s plan, Eloa tosses the coin up and then catches it, showing head again. “Okay Miss Lucida free. Now for buck.” She tells the fae as the man scowls but is distracted by that jiggle.

Crawling around on the ground as he seems to take forever trying to locate that impossible grain of sand, Buck leans back slightly, his crawling around pulling his pants tight around his ass as he slowly crawls around showing off for Eli.

“Oh my, it’s so hard to see down here.” Buck says as he leans over, sticking his ass straight up in the air, attempting to be sexy with it.

Another distraction that Eloa is able to manipulate with fae luck! When Buck is sticking his butt up in the air, Eloa manages another heads! “Okay we all good home!” Eloa declares as she looks at the fae. The man shakes his head, but finds himself sufficiently amused… for now anyways. “I will send for you three another time. I understand it’s hard to come for a century. So go home. Speak to your loved one. Tell them you’re coming here to entertain the great Eli. And at another time I will send for you.” A portal like the one they came in from, appears, glimmering with all the colors of the rainbow.

“Fat ass…I mean Fat Chance, Eli.” Buck says as he quickly gets up and slaps his own ass, shooting the bird to the Fae as he heads for the portal.

Blushing a bit, Eloa waves at the fae as she goes through the portal as well.

Once outside the three will find themselves somewhere around town at least. Unless Constance decides to stay and join the Fae’s harem.

“That was humiliating. Don’t tell -anyone- about this. It was to save our lives.” Buck says as he points to Eloa and Constance. “We would have been out of there in maybe an hour or two with the cold iron stand trick.”

“What if he coat his sand in more sand or move with magic? Buck no say he can’t use magic. Or other means. He could move his sand above and drop like those timer sand spin things.” Eloa comments as she flashes Buck a grin, “Buck is good distraction though.”

Looking back behind himself, Buck assesses as he asks Constance and Eloa, “Is my ass that good? I’ve never really paid attention to it.”

“Eloa can’t tell maybe bend over again. Was focusing.” Eloa giggles softly as she… shoves Constance through the portal.