Pirate Archeology(Jakem)
Date: 2025-08-03 16:17
(Pirate Archeology(Jakem):Jakem)
[Sun Aug 3 2025]
At Pirate Sha36nty Town/span
43The expansive cavern that contains the ruins of Artherian legend is 42impossibly large; far too big to make any sort of geological 41sense. Nearly a mile high, the underground caverns sport an expansive un40derground river that leads from the lake bordering the ruins 39of Camelot where it looks like a small township is thriving. Sea shanties can be inexplicably heard from amidst the barely functional wooden structures, even though the river has long shrunk to a tiny stream. Beyond the shanty is the mountaintop fortress of the sky pirate king that has layed claim to these lands. The guardians of the fortress. A path up the mountain looks well guarded.
https://imgur.com/a/tYTTHo5
It is morning/i>/span/i88F(31C) degrees, and there are a few wispy white clouds in the sky. The mist is heaviest At Mayflower and Prospect/span>/spanWhile Jakem gets ready, Cristal looks around at the cavern, squinting at the township in the distance. “Imma guess they ain’t be takin credit card here…”
“But if there’s any ancient bottles of booze, we’re gonna grab ’em for souvenirs.” Esme grins to Cristal.
uses one of the docks as a stage, speaking as if to a large audience with an obviously prepared speech Welcome one and all to the first, and this is a working title, Trip of Wonder! You have been gathered here today to collect the first of many exhibits for the Museum of Wonder, namely: The Horn of Bran Galad from the self-titled Pirate King. It may be be important to note that the Pirate King is in fact a spirit of some sort that, along with his cadre, has possessed some old Disney World attractions and built himself a little community off the coast of Florida. So these will be more an hollywood style undead pirate than actual real pirates. For this trip well be ferrying down to Disney World, where youll head to the island of the Pirate King to retrieve his treasure before he can flee the island. The whole event will be recorded via drones, with video footage being posted in the newly forming Museum of Wonder alongside the Horn itself. Given that showmanship is half the point, individual participants will receive additional rewards based on their performance. So I want some drama. Maybe even a little intraparty conflict, romance, or a bit of tragic backstory. Whatever it takes to make this footage watchable! The showmanship award will be given out in accordance to your performances.
Ill be accompanying you via camera drone. Everyone ready? Tough! Were on a schedule here, so lets get going!
Cristal bobs her head at Esme, “Fuck yahh!” She very quickly turns to Jakem for the opening speech. “Aight, so we gonna try to steal treasure shit from a pirate king,” Cristal nod-nods, looking around paranoid after, her eyes darting back and forth. Was I not supposed to say that?” She scratches her head, the question leaving in a moment later. “So if we make out does that mean we get points for bein dramatic?” She whispers to Esme, “If we see any tables, we gotta flip em!”
OOC Rules:
Players must reach the pirate king before the time threshold reaches 10. Time threshold has NOTHING to do with actual clock time. This means you have plenty of time to rp, as it doesnt count towards your mission success.
Time threshold will only increment up in the following circumstances:
1) You move to a place to search it. (Costs 1 threshold per place, and one threshold to return to the main area) Note that you may split the party for this to search faster, but doing so means that one threshold will be spent to get to the place everyone ultimately decides upon in addition to the threshold spent to search
2) You fail a mission critical skill test (Typically 1 threshold per failure). Note that you do not always need to succeed on a skill test to pass the challenge. Failure in these instances just means it takes longer.
3) You take a slower route (Usually 1 Threshold, though there may be exceptions). Which route is faster or slower may or may not be obvious.
4) You enter combat (1 to 2 Threshold depending on complexity)
Given this, be careful about going to a place without thinking it over first. It may be wise to not fully search an area once youve found an amenable solution. Once all the investigation has completed, I will lead the party into the next room. Dont go off on your own.
With his speech done, Jakem/b>/bJakem, for his part, begins to set up in a makeshift tent with his equipment.
calls distractedly as he fiddles “If you have any questions, ask them now.”
Cristal blows a kiss to one of the drones, giving a winky face for a moment after. She shakes her head at someone. “Nah, ready!!”
Cristal blows a kiss to one of the drones, giving a winky face for a moment after. She shakes her head at Jakem. “Nah, ready!!”
“Woo! We got this! That treasure is ours!” Esme cheers enthusiastically and grins to Cristal. “Or if we get in ah wet t-shirt cat fight.” She stage whispers. “Definitely gotta flip tables an’ break shit.” She agrees readily.
“I think I’ve got it.” She tells Jakem, “Find the pirate king, save the world.” She nods solemnly to the drone. “I think the river is ah good place t’ start.”
“We goin to the BEACH!” Cristal booms out, in a voice more suited towards some 20 somethings going to party rather than a competition involving pirate kings. She fists pumps, seeking to follow Jakem and Esme.
When someone joins a place, the time will increment 1 and you’ll be able to search it appropriately.
Fungal blooms line the underground stream as it winds towards and eventually through the mountain along a treacherous path. This section of the water is murky with brown and green solutes that mingle in the water.
Cristal makes a face as the group gets to the river. “Oooh, this nasty,” she says, looking around. “There anything ya think gonna lead us to the pirate king?”
It appears that the river leads beneath the mountain to the pirate king’s fortress; but the passage allows no headspace for swimmers.
Esme starts looking around as they get closer to the river. “It’s definitely got less ah those fuckin’ guards but I’m not sure we can swim it. ” She frowns. “Unless one ah you can turn into an actual fish?” She sounds hopeful with this idea.
Cristal shakes her head at Esme. “Nuh, but I can hold my breath?? Do ya think that’ll work?”
Esme says “I don’t know if we can physically fit is tha problem. Like wiggle through. “
Esme searches around for an alternative path. There was certainly the front passage up, and there were other spots to check out on the beach, but nothing avails itself from this vantage.
Cristal looks between herself and Esme. “I believe in us, I think we can try it? Ya good at swimmin?”
The river is wide enough for a group of people to swim in simultaneously, but without headspace in the passage, holding their breath will be necessary.
Esme dramatically wrinkles her nose for the camera. “I’m…probably okay at swimming. Dunno if I’m good at holding my breath.” She stretches upward. “Ugh this is gonna be so gross. Fuck it though, let’s do it. If we drown, we drown.”
Esme says “Hopefully we don’t drown“
Before getting into the water Cristal tells a drone, “If I die, I want yall to know that my last will and testermant is to donate all my money to my horse Pokey.”
Esme says “And if I die…well good fuckin’ luck t’ my accountant!“
Neither Esme or Cristal have much difficulty holding their breath as the river carries them through the tunnel, where they emerge into an unusual room. From the sounds of it, they avoided the guard’s attention, but at what cost? They are covered in that weird brown fungus as they rise from the depths.
Cristal emerges with that weird brown gunk on her skin, she makes a face. “Ughhhh, we gotta find a shower round here!” she whispers to Esme, looking around. Unfortunately there are just books… so Cristal decides to do the next best thing and find a book with loose pages to take the paper out to try to wipe off the worst of the gunky stuff.
The clock continues to tick as the adventurers emerge into the so called Library. 2 time units have passed, 8 remain.
Esme comes up from the water, coughing and sputtering and grimacing. “Ugh. We still might die.” She laments to Cristal with another harsh shudder. There’s a mild interest at the books and she nods. “Lets see if any ah these open up a secret passage or somethin’.” She’ll suffer with the gunk for now.
Most of these books look like they havent been opened in decades. There is a disturbing tendency for most of the shelves closest to the boiler room to be empty, almost like in times of desperation the books are… Though there are a couple shelves near the boiler room that remain untouched.
Cristal rounds out the back, more preoccupied with getting clean as she mutters, “My momma ain’t raise no dirty girl.”
The camera’s zoom in to capture Cristal’s dismay as she tries to clean herself off with pages of books so old that the paper practically crumbles betwixt her painted nails.
Cristal’s eyes fill with tears as she realizes the futility of her endeavor. With an irritated huff, she tells one of the books, “I ain’t gonna read ya anyway bitch,” before meeting up with Jakem and Esme. “See anythin?”
Esme is shameless. She shoves several dusty tomes into her bag. “Those are prolly worth something.” She decides, trying to keep her focus so she doesn’t totally gag with the sensation of being covered in this stuff. “I think uh.” She clears her throat and points. “Those bookshelves there might look like something.”
While there was a test to try to find the secret passage, an optional means of finding it was to simply try to steal all the books, and so their search is rendered moot as one of the books Esme yanks from the shelf sticks, activating the passageway!
Cristal gasps, turning to the drone and saying “Ohhhh shiet!” as the passageway is revealed.
Esme says “Ehhh fuck yeah!“
And now the question remains; Hidden passage, or through the main arch?
One might consider the strange wording here to suggest one can ‘ask each skull a question about either the skulls or the doors’
Time has passed; 7 time units remain before the Pirate King flees his fortress!
Esme adjusts her messenger bag, grimacing still as the gunk is starting to dry out. “A thousand showers.” She grumbles and then considers the wording. “Ooh that’s actually…hm…” She nods then to Cristal. “We could pick a door and ask ‘Is this the right door’. And ask that to all three of them. And if two say yes we know it’s not? …but there might be a slightly better way…”
“I’m open to ideas, ya found the secret tunnel anyway,” Cristal scratches her head peering at the gems inside the skulls. “It prolly like not a good idea to jack them gems, right?”
Esme stage whispers to Cristal, “…Maybe after we ask the questions.”
Cristal nods seriously at Esme.
Esme seems to be trying to puzzle out a better way but she nods finally. “Yeah. I hate these kinda riddles. Should we ask about the purple door?”
Esme says “You want to go first or want me to?“
Cristal swaggers up to the skulls, peering at each of them. “AYo! This purple door the right one?” she asks.
As Cristal approaches the purple door, the skull above it comes to life, its jaw clacking with a ratling cackle “You ask me of which door is right, and to that I say none are! But of the doors to bring you trouble, this one you are before will bring the least.”
After it finishes speaking the purple gem inside the skull goes dim and the skull itself shatters.
Cristal curses.
Esme says “…I think.“
Esme looks to the Red Skull. “Did the purple skull speak the truth?”
The skull lights up, its jaw aclatter. “That purple skull, that lieing scum. I do not believe what it has become. It lied to you, twice at least. Trust not its word, lest you follow the path of the beast!”
The red skull’s gem dims, and the skull crumbles to dust.
Esme motions for Cristal to ask the other skull the same!
Cristal approaches the Green skull. “Did the purple skull tell the truth?”
Again the green gem casts its eerie hue within the confines of the skull, it light emanating from eyes, nose and mouth as its jaw clacks “What my red brethen accuses is surely true, the purple skull would mislead you. Listen not to its filthy lie, lest you take the path where you do die.”
The green gem goes dim, and the calcium within the bones bubbles as the bone melts away to slag.
Esme feigns a dramatic sort of horrified look for the camera with the melting bones and then tells Cristal, “That sounds t’ me like the purple door’s the right answer then.”
Cristal nods at Esme. “Sounds good to me, leggo!” She walks towards the purple door.
As the purple door opens the others fade away, disappearing to leave only the stark stone of the cave walls. The door opens up into a long passage that winds suspiciously more than would seem warranted given the remaining trip to the top of the tower. Still, eventually it opens up into…
OOC: Forgot to make the last room, so this room description has been edited.
This dilapidated wooden room tops the fortress, and appears in a state of
This dilapidated wooden room tops the fortress, and appears in a state of decay. That and various scorch marks about the room, along with a large window with shutters that have been torn off their hinges suggests anything but luxury. The unshuttered window is large enough for a man, or a mansized skeleton to leave through, and has a bicycle and steam powered flying contraption beyond.
Old furniture and debris lays scattered about the room, along with the treasures this pirate king has collected. Broken cogs, rusty scraps of metal, an old arquebus that would more likely injure its user than those fired upon, and bits and pieces of scattered furniture make up much of the treasure pile.
“Shame we couldn’t get those gems.” Esme tells Cristal as they wind through the passage up to the top of the fortress with a curious hum keeping an eye out for shinies.
As Cristal and Esme root about, there’s a sound from the other end of the room that distracts them JUST as they were about to find an old vintage bike horn. The cameras capture them just barely missing it.
Instead their attention might be drawn by a skeleton in a pirate outfit, a horn at his hip, and a peculiar flying machine just about ready for takeoff! “Ar’ yee skalliwags, you’ll not have me treasure this day! I’ll skuttle this entire fortress before yee take my ship from me!” he appears to be referring to the flying machine.
Esme turns around at the sound, looking confused for a moment at the flying machine. She lowers her voice in a whisper to Cristal, “…We’re not here for the machine, are we?..”
Esme spies the horn and levels her crossbow. “Luckily we’re just here for you!” She tells the skeleton, firing off a shot at him.
With a clatter of its bones the pirate skeleton steps back, lifting an old timey pistol that is covered in rust and looks about as likely to explode as to fire properly. The bow fires true, accompanied by some rifle fire that knocks the old skeleton to the edge of the jumping off point “No wait!” he bellows, just as he’s about to stumble off to the cliff face below. “Yar, Me bones will be scattered to the fishes!”
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aBtFdy6SkrlQ8Jw41rFaGsePMQHOzo2XxtrPUHcRZ4Y/edit?usp=sharing
Cristal lunges forward to try to grab the horn!
Esme lifts a hand to highfive Cristal, “Nice shot!” She enthuses and then tells the pirate, “Give us the horn and you get to live!”
Whoops, this is what you’re looking at: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aBtFdy6SkrlQ8Jw41rFaGsePMQHOzo2XxtrPUHcRZ4Y/edit?usp=sharing
The Pirate King might be gasping as Cristal lunges at him, and there’s a scramble, one that ultimately results in Cristal being restrained with bony finger as the wouldbe pirate of the skies holds Cristal in a grapple in front of him. “Yar, seems we be at impasse now.” he says, the horn still at his belt. “You want me horn? Well I got a proposal for yah… Simmer down there lass.” he says, aiming his old flintlock at Cristal’s head as he holds her tight. “Best me in a game of liar’s dice, and leave me my ship, and the horn is yours. Lose… and yee leave here empty handed.”
Cristal flails. “Kay! Kay! We can do that! We can do that right, chica?!” she screeches to Esme.
A cackle rings out from his bony depths “Throw yee weapons into the pile!” he gestures to his ‘treasure’ pile “Else I’m taking yee fleshy friend here off the plank with me.” he says, stepping back towards the hole in the fortress wall.
Esme keeps her crossbow at the ready at the Pirate King gets Cristal in that headlock. “Yeah, yeah man. It’s cool. We’ll play.” But at the same time does two things. The first is that she uses telepathy to tell Cristal 17I’m going to try and put him in a trance. If it works, grab the horn and we beat feet. If not, play it cool, we play the game. To the cameras it’ll just look like a deeply shared look- dramatic! Speculation!
And then she tries to do just that, putting the King in a trance.
Alas, making eye contact with a skeleton proves more difficult than anticipated. On the plus side, he does not seem to notice the attempt.
Esme says “Not even a lil bit. We’re gonna need a 101/b>/spanCristal clears her throat. “Mister Skele, we gonna need a primer here.”
The pirate king might scowl, it’s difficult to register “Yar, ye’ve never seen the pirates of the caribean movie… Ahem, you’ve never heard the tale of the men who bested Davy Jones at his own game upon the high seas in the Caribean?” he asks, the theme park attraction quickly recovering from breaking character.
He sighs “It’s simple enough. Take your dice, take your cup. Roll the dice and hide ’em with the cup. You see your dice, but you don’t see ours. Still, yah gotta guess how many of the number there is. If you get called out, and there aren’t equal or more dice to what you said you lose a dice. Elsewise, the chap that called yah out loses a dice. When you got no dice left, you lose the game. Simple.”
(OOC: We’ll be doing a game test for Cristal and Esme’s game skills. After losing 3 times, you’re out.)
Esme blinks as she listening to the rundown and then slowly nods. “I…think I get it.”
The pirate king waits with a guarded look, watching Esme carefully “Well if yah get it, toss yer weapon in my pile and pick up yer dice and yer cup. Hurry, me trigger finger’s feelin’ antsy!”
Cristal nods at the pirate king. “Okay Okay! We can do it!”
Esme drops her bow and picks up the cup! Surely nothing will go wrong.
This game will get progressively more difficult the more times you lose. Though it will get easier the more times the pirate king loses. And… Begining.
Esme figures that is for the dice roll.
Esme looks mildly pensive as things get off to a rocky start.
With a triumphant “Yar!” The pirate king successfully calls both Cristal and Esme on their claims with regards to the dice, reaching to the side to grab and swig a bottle of rum. “Hah, yee two came up to my fortress without even knowing how to play pirate games? Landlubbin’ fools, the lot of yee!” he taunts boastfully. The pirate king still has all his dice.
Things seem dire, until Esme makes a lucky call on the Pirate king. It seems everyone has lost a dice this time around.
Cristal looks worried about how the dice game is going, which is, not well. She gives the drones a look of concern!
Esme still looks full of trepidation as they all lose the round. “Oh man, Cris. I think he might have us.” She admits to Cristal with wide eyes.
The pirate king bellows in dismay, ignoring or perhaps not noticing as his opponents do just as poorly as he. “You cheated!” He bellows at Cristal, guzzling what has to be long past due rum. “Yar, yee can’t cheat a pirate and get away with it!” he continues… Plenty distracted with his accusations that he doesn’t notice Esme slip around to lift that horn off his belt.
Cristal’s sensitivity notices that despite being a skeleton, he seems to be inebriated somehow. Perhaps the horn’s magic.
Esme grabs the horn and gives Cristal a ‘Got it!’ look. Now they just have to figure out the best escape.
Cristal blurts out to the skeleton. “SCUSE ME! I GOTTA PISS. Where the lil ladies room at?”
The skeleton squints at Cristal “Piss in the midst of a liar’s dice game? Yee do a great dishonor to ol’ piratical traditions lassy, but the last thing I want is for you to piss me chair. Just go over the edge.” he says, hooking a bony thumb towards the hole in the wall.
Cristal snaps her fingers at the skeleton. “Oh hell naw!! Imma real ass lady. I can’t be squattin like that unless ya want me to fall ou tthe window! I ain’t got a point and shoot like-” she waves her hand at the skeleton, her brow furrowing as she realizes she doesn’t actually know how a skeleton would go number two. “Where the latrines at??” she demands.
Esme tries to slip the horn into her bag while the Pirate King is giving Cristal some directions and then look like she’s totally not doing anything shady. Just listening for a beat longer.
The skeleton bellows “There aren’t no latrines on an undead pirate fortress gally! You want some, grab a shovel and dig!” he says, gesturing to the pirate “treasure” pile, irritation and inebriation clearly distracting him from Esme’s antics.
Esme stands up up then. “That’s ah -great- idea.” She agrees with the Pirate King. “Honestly, I think you have us beat anyway. Cris, let’s go digging!”
Cristal bobs her head, shooting up to follow Esme. “We gonna dig and take a whiz anna poo poo. Don’t be peepin.”
The pirate king looks to Esme “But what of the game? You’ll never get the horn of Bran Galad now! You came all this way.” He says in a disappointed tone. “Wait wait, finish my game…” he whines “I’ll give you a head start!” whatever that means as he stumbles after the retreating women.
Esme just grabs Cristal’s hand so they can keep running!
The echos of the pirate king’s remorse at not getting to finish his game are suddenly outweighed by the cries of rage as he realizes his horn is gone. “Thieves! Dishonorable curs! You steal from pirates? You… Scalliwags!” It bellows as they beat feet down the exit tunnel.
Cristal high tails it with Esme.
As you emerge back onto the beach after your escape, Jakem is there waiting for you at basecamp. “Oh hey, great show in there! That was comedy gold. Pity you didn’t find the second secret passage, but you made such great time it hardly mattered.” he comments with a congratulatory bellow. “Anyways, you got the horn still? Didn’t lose it in the swim back?”
He wrinkles his nose a bit as Esme and Cristal get close.
Cristal gestures to Esme while she tries to get the gunk off of her. “Ughhhh. I need a hot shower!!” She wails brattily.
“You owe me for ah new bow!” Esme insist to Jakem, thrusting the horn out to the man, panting a little with all the escaping.
Esme nods readily with Cristal about showers.
gives a wave off “Yah, sure sure, bow, rifle. You realize that horn is priceless! And the footage we got of you getting it? You two are gonna be famous when we open the museum.” he declares. “Don’t worry, you’ll be compensated.”
Cristal holds up her hand to high-five Esme. “We gonna be FAMOUS!!!”
With a glance up the path to the fortress Jakem notes “Looks like you got them riled. Let’s, uh, get on the boat and we’ll discuss compensation the sound of smooth jazz and not getting stabbed by knock-off DisneyWorld attractions.”
Cristal nods and groans something about a shower while following Jakem.
Esme grins to Cristal, high-fiving her. “Great fuckin’ work! Hell yeah we are.” And then she’s very ready to gtfo.