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New Haven RPG > Characters > Matthew Montrose

Matthew Montrose

@MEGA.Stud | Followers: 74,759

About Me

“Yes, that Matthew Montrose. No, I dont have a cannon anymore.”

Just moved to New Haven after realizing LA had too many oat milk options and not enough decent parking. I make internet stuff. Some of it funny, some of it regrettably viral, all of it available in crisp HD. Former prankster, current podcast philosopher. Once got slimed on Nickelodeon, judged a musical family, and lost a Teen Choice surfboard in a storage unit auction.

Looking for someone who wont run when I say “content house” and who knows that pizza should never be made out of sushi, cake, or hot dogs. Must enjoy spontaneous road trips, poorly sunk karaoke, and morally complicated influencers.

Match up if you like long walks off-camera and a man who can turn a viral scandal into a tax write-off.

Quote

“The difference between a comedy and a tragedy is where you stop the story.” – Orson Welles

Joke

I’ve stared at the algorithm, and the algorithm stared right back. It recommended my ex’s engagement photos.

_____________________________________________________________________________ | Sitting in the lap of a Swedish-looking young lady, the subject of the | | photo looks decidedly silly. He’s pouting, arching his back sensuously, and | | has his hand held against his forehead with fingers stretched in the shape | | of | | an ‘L’. Did he lose a bet?! | | This is a dusky-eyed, dark-skinned dude in his mid-thirties. | | He is 6’3″ and has bronzed-brown skin, black hair, and brown eyes. | | You can see his face, neck, upper chest, arms, and hands. | | This man’s skin glows like light reflecting off polished mahogany kissed | | with gold, his cheeks shadowed by a fine stubble that traces his jaw and | | bridges over full lips. His eyes, dusky colored, inhabit that liminal space | | between mischief and melancholy; forever weighing the impulse to grin | | against the gravity of something deeper. Dark curls crown his head lending | | him an unruly charm. His shoulders are broad and his frame is lean, the | | poster child of flesh-formed perfection and model athletes everywhere. | | He smells like salt, ozone. | | He is using: | | (E) a silver iPhone 16e | | (D) a blood orange mimosa in a delicate champagne flute | | an all-white, cotton undershirt, tight-fitted with a V-neck | | (E) a white pinstriped NY Yankees jersey signed by C. Bellinger | | (E) a pair of black, flashy rhinestone-studded distressed jeans | | (E) a pair of black and white Retro Air Jordan 4 with fat laces | | a Zotic, 18 karat, gold bonded micro-clustered tennis chain | |_____________________________________________________________________________|