Hey all,

I’m still learning my way around, and I know part of being in Haven is engaging in conflict, but ouch, this has been a rough learning curve. From a total newbie’s perspective, I wanted to share something I’ve been struggling with, as I think it’s worth remembering that newbies are still learning as they go.

Not everyone knows the game

Some of the conflicts I’ve run into haven’t been because my character wanted them, but because I didn’t yet understand the mechanics of the game. Those early mistakes are now reflecting on my character, which isn’t a great feeling. I’ll manage, and I’ll move forward, but it’s hard to separate character from player when it feels like the real issue is my OOC lack of knowledge. As a long-time story runner and DM, I know learning a new system takes time, and I hope sharing this will make it easier for future new players to settle in.

1) Small invitations help. A question, a simple offer, or a shared task gives a new character something to build on. Those small moments make it easier to join a scene and also teach mechanics along the way.

2) Clear examples make learning smoother. When something is demonstrated in play or explained directly, it’s much easier for a new player to pick up than when the expectation is left unspoken. If you ask a new player what they want and they can’t answer, it may simply be because the question is too broad. Offering a concrete option or example gives them a starting place to respond and engage.

3) Initiative works best when there are visible options. Telling a new player to take more initiative can be discouraging if they don’t know what choices are available. Offering a path makes it much easier for them to step forward with confidence. As a seasoned player, it’s easy to forget how overwhelming it feels to be told you’re not doing enough without also being shown how you can do more.

4) Advice is most helpful when it comes with context or an example rather than just a list of things to do. Showing how and why something works not only makes it easier for a new player to learn, it also makes the guidance feel like part of the shared story instead of homework.

A small note of apology

If I reached out and caused any discomfort, that was never my intention. My learning style relies on doing and on visual cues, which means I sometimes stumble as I adjust. I know this may cause awkward moments, but I’m committed to improving so I can contribute positively to the game. I also want to apologize if I ever made anyone feel guilty because their way of teaching didn’t line up with my way of learning. That was never what I wanted. Everyone teaches and learns differently, and I’m working on bridging that gap on my end.

There are many talented players here, and I hope that this perspective helps make the game more welcoming for future new players, so they can grow into the world and its stories with confidence.