Matias’s The Ethics of Communication 101 [Windermere]
Date: 2025-09-16 13:02
(Matias’s The Ethics of Communication 101 [Windermere])
[Tue Sep 16 2025]
A Musty Basement Seminar Room/span>/spanThe Plymouth Seminar Room occupies a windowless corner of the basement, its
low ceiling supported by exposed pipes that occasionally emit soft clicking
sounds as they expand and contract. Fluorescent lights cast an uneven glow
across rows of wooden chairs with attached writing tablets, their surfaces
marked by decades of student use. The walls, painted institutional beige,
display water stains near the corners where moisture has seeped through the
foundation. A heavy wooden table sits at the front of the room, its dark
surface reflecting the overhead lights in distorted patterns. The air carries
a persistent mustiness despite the ventilation grates set into the walls, and
the temperature remains several degrees cooler than the floors above. Cork
boards line one wall, their surfaces dotted with faded announcements and
peculiar symbols drawn in chalk that seem to shift slightly in peripheral
vision. The door, reinforced with a small wire-glass window, closes with a
weight that suggests its age and the settling of the building around it./span>/spanIt is about 60F(15C) degrees. The mist is heaviest At Mayflower and Lynch/span>/spanMatias looks at his watch and then shifts slate-grey eyes onto the classroom taking in the students. “Good afternoon, we are covering Ethics in Communication.” he begins in a resonating baritone while writing the words ETHICS / COMMUNICATION on the board. “The obvious. Ethics is about attempting to understand Good versus Bad outcomes. Communication is the exchange of information ideally with understanding.” he finishes writing on the board and turns to look at the room again his rosary swaying. “So instead of starting with an example of ethical communication let us start with an example of a complication… Ladies, have you ever been polite or nice to someone only to have them assume you were flirting with them and make a hard pass at you?” those slate-eyes going to the women in the class of which it is dominated by.
Nemi raises her hand, letting out a soft giggle as she nods a small bit, letting out a soft sigh in realization of why she raises her hand as she looks down a small bit.
Alhambra lifts her hand at the question as well, nodding herself, as Matias asks his question to start off the class.
Teagan does… not lift her hand, actually. She looks over to the other two, tilting her head slightly. Not quite in surprise, but perhaps a close cousin to. What she does do is wait several beats before lifting her off-hand partway to indicate a question before asking: “How would you know?”
“Miss Ivorstead, you work at a bar, I imagine it is constant… So has Miss Ivorstead, a bartender, and attractive young lady been ethically questionable? Is her communication -unethical- because the other side mistook the signals and made an assumption?” Matias asks the question seemingly expecting a follow up of participation from the female dominanted class room. When Teagan inquires how she would know, the latino professor pauses, “If they are flirting… Well handsy, roaming eyes, suggestive language, trying to get you to commit to a date or meeting up later or even in that moment.” he rattles off a few clues and then reiterates, “But assuming it is clear the other person has mistaken courtesy and kindness for flirtation and invitation. Is that ethically dishonest of you for ‘leading them on’?”
“If you were just being nice, and polite, I would think that the blame in that situation would be more on the person who mistook your attitude, for something that it wasn’t.” Alhambra remarks mildly, adding, “In that case it wouldn’t be dishonest, since you never intended to make them think something else?”
“Oh, than no. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that,” Teagan says after the explanation is given. Still, she does jot down a few notes in her notebook. As the question is posed, she leans back slightly in her seat and reaches down into her backpack, surfacing with a bag of candy. She does try to keep it as quiet as possible as she opens it, but there is still crinkling of course. It doesn’t mean she’s not listening! Her attention is on Alhambra as they give their thoughts.
“Correct Miss Lopez. In a situation where there are two parties. You are only responsible for your own communication. That being said once you realize there is a -miscommunication- or a -misunderstanding- than ethics would dictate that correcting the incorrect or the wrong is the right thing to do yes?” Matias asks with a look perhaps for a quick gut check of reactions for the attending female students. “So when someone has assumed you are into them or maybe they assume you want sex or they assume you want affection or they assume you want them to chase you. Whatever assumption someone makes to satisfy something they believe you are communicating. You have an obligation, ethically, to correct them. Which leads us to practical limitation. If communicating ethically is the correction of misconceptions and misunderstandings. Does that mean you need to constantly be correcting people? What if correcting them makes them angry? What if they call you a bitch, a slut, a cocktease? What if they tell you that you -owe- them what they thought you were offering them?”
Nemi huma, thinking for a moment, Chuckling and then sighing a bit she nod softly as he lists off things, she nods and then nods again. “It very well depends on what you were soing, There is a masisve difference between actually leading someone on and then just being generally nice … and then it depends on eatablishments, I mean workers at hooters are, well, Maybe a few of those things-” She states as she chuckles softly. “It is partially their job.”
“We will get into context and agreed upon implications next. Miss Ivorstead getting ahead of me.” Matias says as he tries to pull the class back to his core questions.
Nemi nods softly and quietly apologized with a mouthed ‘sorry-‘ as she smiles weakly.
A couple of the sour patch kids later, Teagan puts the next back in the bag and lifts her hand again. Others might speak up, but she is definitely doing the hand thing. The fact that she is speaking barely loud enough to be heard might be part of why. There is a burr at the upper end of her voice as if she might not be *able* to speak louder at the moment. Each time she does, it starts to crack, difficulty in attaining those higher registers. Like it broke at some point recently. “What if you make the attempt, several times, and they ignore it? Or press on? Or insist things like… you setting your boundaries is punishing them unfairly? Like, uhm…” Teagan presses her lips together briefly, lowering her hand now so she doesn’t have it up for so long. “Saying that you need some space to handle work and they return that you’re punishing them by doing so since they’re horny and need sex? Or if you feel physically threatened? If you… give in, but then later step back and say no, actually, I can’t do this… was that- was that wrong? Should you apologize and return and go no, I gave you my word?”
“Miss Lawson also getting ahead of us.” Matias muses as he looks to Alhambra expectantly for her take.
Teagan grimaces. “Apologies, sir.”
“I’d say it’s still on them, and at that point, I’d probably stop being nice ever again to that person…” Alhambra remarks, before adding with a shrug. “If it was a problem though with every person I talked to, behaving that way to being nice, I’d have to consider if I should be less nice in the future, probably.”
Matias turns to write on the board CORRECT MISCOMMUNICATION is ETHICAL and then beneath it REPEATED MISCOMMUNICATION? and then beneath that AGREED IMPLICATION? and then beneath that COERCED COMMUNICATION? and then with each of them he turns and looks at the class and starts at the top, “Alright so repeated miscommunication. Miss Ivorstead is at the bar working. She informs a patron she is not interested. She has a boyfriend. Not to tonight. She even goes, I am not hitting on you. But the patron persists in assuming she is playing hard to get and wants to be chased. In the case of repeated miscommunication or intentional misunderstanding where someone hears only what they want to hear. What is your ethical obligation? Are you forced to correct them ad infinium? Technically your ethical obligation is to avoid this person. You -cannot- communicate with them. It is unethical to try because they will intentionally or are incapable of understanding -you-.” he rights CUT CONTACT to the right of REPEATED MISCOMMUNICATION. “Now Miss Ivorstead has been my straw woman for a few examples. I will switch to myself. I am working at a male strip club. My job is to seduce and entice the clients. They come in expecting a show and the -illusion- of intimacy of sexuality. I am on the clock looking for a paycheck. We have entered into an unspoken social contract wherein both participants are suspending disbelief and choosing to play along with the charade that we are attracted to one another whether or not we really are. This is ethical. It is however complicated by the unspoken portion. Thus you can still run into miscommunication and a required correction. For example let us say a client offered me a large sum of money to actually go in the back and have sex. Am I -forced- to take it because I am a male stripper? Because they want the illusion, the agreed charade to go further than me? No of course not!” and to the right of AGREED IMPLICATION? he writes BOUNDARIES.
Finally the latino Professor turns his attention onto Teagan, “Now to Miss Lawson’s commentary… You have communicated. You have been coerced by feelings or weakness or something to give a false communication. Whether it was false at the time, it is false in the moment and you must correct. Are you unethical? No! There is no time limit to honesty. You are allowed to be wrong. You are allowed to make a mistake it is -unethical- not to share that with the other party. If I took that clients money to sleep with them in the back and I walk into that room and change my mind. I need to tell them. If I do not, I sleep with them, and then regret it or resent them or something. It is now -my- fault because I failed to communicate that the status quo had changed. You do not owe anyone anything but the truth. You owe yourself the truth most of all. It is just -very- common that the truth hurts and we avoid pain.” he looks out over the class as he writes NOTHING IS FOREVER to the right of COERCED.
Matias says “How do we feel about that ladies, do you feel that is true or do you disagree? What do you believe the ethical choices are in those examples?“
Nemi nods softly as she takes a few notes down in her notebook with a soft hum, nodding again as she erases and corrects something with a smile, she nods again.
Nemi nods softly. “Well the first one can’t be helped, it’s best to likely replace whose serving him with another tender or, if he gets physical have someone escort him out, likely the manager or a bodyguard for the establishment of course.” She states with a soft and firm nod.
“So we agree. Bad faith or repeated miscommunication can only end with not communicating with that person.” Matias says to Nemi and then looks to Alhambra and Teagan before reminding them, “Miss Lopez suggested if the issue is frequent and you are the common denominator maybe you are the problem. Should you stop being nice to people because they all want to fuck you when you say hi to them and ask them how they are doing?”
Chewing on another sour patch kid, Teagan scribbles in her notebook. Not just what’s on the board, but a lot of what Matias has said. Not all. He’s said a lot and it’s hard to keep up! She grabs another candy… mostly without thinking about it, but her subconscious may be giving her an out from answering right away. There is a glance up as she realizes there’s at least one pair of eyes on her. She looks to the Professor, then over to the other attendees. “Uhm,” she offers so eloquently. “Maybe… identify what it is you are doing that is… coming across that way and… adjust?”
“Self reflection and improvement is almost always an ethical action. However requiring it due to others is normally a bad idea. It is highly situational.” Matias says to the group as he checks his watch and goes, “We have twenty-five minutes. I would like to open the floor to hypothetical scenarios from the class or questions about ethical communication in general. We have determined that it is ethical to correct misunderstandings. That if you say something and take it back that it is ethical to say you have changed your mind. You are not obligated under ethical communication to go through with it. Honour, giving your word, so on so forth these are different frameworks and your mileage may vary. We have also estbalished that if you prove you cannot communicate with someone because they intentionally misunderstand you to hear what they want, the only solution is to cut them off… So questions, situations, thoughts?”
Nemi takes a second to think, humming a bit as she really takes a moment to think about this as she softly taps her foot. “What about….. A scenario involving two other parties, ethics of communication between two of your love interests….?” She asks. “I can’t really think of much else, And no this isn’t a current thing in my life.”
“A little more, do you mean if I am pursuing two separate people. Do I have an ethical communication duty to inform both of them or?” Matias seems to be guessing at what Nemi is trying to ask.
Matias says “Or do you mean if my two love interests talk to each other, if there some ethical obligation they have?“
A few more notes are written. Some more candy is eaten. Teagan frowns as she jots down a few more notes. She puts the candy away in her backpack and instead sits for a moment chewing on her thumb a bit. Frowning. “It sounds like, then… you can’t really truly trust anyone’s word, can you? Not…” She drops that hand and digs the thumbnail into the pad of her index finger instead. “I’m not saying like, assume people are lying or anything, but… If someone says they promise you something, you have to be aware that tomorrow they might go actually, never mind, I can’t do that. Like…uhm,” She takes a deep breath, pen pressed on the page of the notebook, ink slowly spreading. “Say you’re told you’re someone’s favorite and they want to teach you things. You… need to assume that tomorrow they might go actually, no. I don’t think any of that at all. And you need to… be okay? With that? Because they… were ethical and didn’t string you on? It’s just okay, yes, you’re fine, I am none of those things, thank you for your time? I mean… I guess-” brow furrowed, “that would… cause a lot less upset, if we made sure whenever someone tells us something like that — they love us, they promise to spend time with us, we have a guaranteed job — that we know they could change their mind at any minute and we need to not become too deeply invested so that we don’t put unfair pressure on them.”
But she looks quickly abashed and apologetic, stopping and flipping to another page, grimacing at the ink stain and starting more notes.
“Ethics deals in right and wrong. It is right to be honest. If we are speaking strictly in the realm of communication. Than the most ethical thing is that which results in the most honest and correct form of communication. However just because something is right or good does not make it so you have to accept it.” Matias explains to Teagan while looking over the class. “If someone has promised me they love me and they change their mind. I can still feel some way about that. It is ethical of them to tell me they have changed their mind. But that does not mean I need to forgive them for saying something in the first place that was not true or that was not as true as they believed. I do believe that in general people should be taken at their word, but we almost but be realistic. If someone says I love you within a week of daying, you are probably dealing with someone who loves easily or does not understand what love is.”
“And…” Teagan cannot help herself, even if she is trying to not butt in on other peoples’ questions, “if someone says they love you, it doesn’t make you a bad person to not say it back? And it’s not your fault if they… assume you loved them back? I don’t mean like, they bring it up and you just go uh-huh, yeah and let them think so but like… they come at you later and go ‘how could you do that to someone you love’ and you never even said such a thing? Or… I mean, maybe you acted in such a way that-” Her voice is starting to rise and it cracks out and she winces slightly, rubbing at her throat. “Sorry,” she squeaks out, leaning over to rifle through her bag. She does not surface with anything to drink and her lips form a silent swear as she settles back and waves a hand to ‘go on.’
“Generally in the realm of love. Hurt feelings, anger, and blame are a given. Love and loss, relationships, and breakups. Miscommunications here cause pain and they are messy. If you want absolution see an Ordained Priest of a religion of your choice. If you want to know whether you were ethical. The question is, did you not say whether you loved them or not out of fear or because it was obvious?” Matias states simply to Teagan who seems to definitely have ‘something’ in mind with all these questions and then checks his watch looking to Nemi for a clarification.
Nemi sighs softly, thinking
Teagan takes in a breath, squints with a wince, and takes out her phone instead, balancing notebook on her lap as she types out a lot.
Nemi says “The latter, Not actually loving them, Or maybe having a partner you do love but being in a poly relationship including someone you don’t but fake it for the middle ones sake.“
Matias looks at Nemi and suggests, “More than 2 in a relationship is Ethical Hard mode. So… Lets break down. I am in a poly relationship. I have my girlfriend and my -other- girlfriend let us say. My two girlfriends love me. I expect them both to be with me at the same time so by default they have sexual activity with one another. They do not love one another. I mean it is a simple case of communication. Are they lying to me that they like one another. Are they lying to each other. Is one of them only doing it because without it they could not have me at all and they are compromising. The ethical -communication- requirement is just that everyone is honest and upfront about their various intentions. The -ethical- requirement is far more complex. I do want to point out at no point is ethical communication about -not- hurting someone or protecting yourself or sparing feelings. Ethical -communication- is solely about honesty and clarity.”
Matias says “Make sense?“