It is about 65/span>/span/i18C) degrees. The mist is heaviest At King and Sidney/span>Mercy shushes Jakem with a finger to her lips. “Teagan tryin’ to market these impromptu weddins jus’ play along.”

“Yeah… I could help and finish being tied with you.” Liv laughs. “So, I prefer to be another spectator.”

Mercy rounds on Liv suddenly with a wide, crazed grin. “Bridesmaid spotted.”

Obadiah gets some nice rope from his kit to string Owen up real nice like any good sailor would, “I don’t know Mercy’s opiniton on Shibari however, knowing a few knots will keep everything interesting for everyone.”

“Thank you, Obie. You do the Mercers proud.” Teagan is snickering to herself as she helps with cornering the poor Owen. “YEAH MAN. LEMME SELL SOME WEDDING PACKAGES.” She clears her throat and looks back to Owen, smiling brightly. “Now lemme just get that phone off of you, okay? And then we’ll see about getting you dressed for your ceremony.”

“Hey hey. I am not bridesmaid of anyone, don’t get me in that” Liv says.

Mercy shouts to anyone within earshot. “YOU TOO COULD BE EXPERIENCIN’ THE SUDDEN, JARRIN’ BLISS OF BEIN’ WEDDED ON THESE LUXURY PREMISES FER A NOMINAL FEE!”

Unfortunately, Owen has really nowhere else to go, and Owen catches him and ties him up. Letting out a heavy sigh, “I can’t even move my hands anyway,” he complains when Teagan asks for the phone. Finally, “Fine, let’s just get this over with..”

“For all I know you have a symbiotic connection to your phone,” Teagan says to Owen, but doesn’t argue it. Instead, she looks to Mercy and Jakem. “Is the rope acceptable attire for the groom?”

Kaelyn steps away, doing a little spin in her dress for Mercy at the title. “Tried to look the part.” Despite the heels she doesn’t make a sound as she wandered back to the other wolf. “Do you guys have packages in case the bride or groom gets cold feet? Something for annoying in laws?”

Jakem moves to the front of the room, standing in front of the windows, nodding solemnly in agreement to Mercy’s proclamation. Then he turns to everyone “Welcome one and all, to a fateful day in the realm of New Haven. Wherein we will see these two souls…” He gestures first to Mercy, then to Owen’s bound form “Joined together under Wonder’s light in matrimony, to last until Mercy dost tire of him and earn a new husband.”

Jakem gestures to Mercy “Will the bride please carry her husband to the alter?” he asks, beckoning her with one hand as he holds the ceremonial shotgun with the other.

Jakem goes to get the ceremonial shotgun that he forgot downstairs.

Teagan gestures to Obadiah to deliver Owen unto Mercy.

Obadiah hands off the pretty pretty ropes to Mercy and then takes a step back to join Liv and stands with her, “See I am here as a representative of the court, so you are the senior Orderite.” He gives her a wink, “No pressure or anything.”

Mercy hesitates a little initially, seeming to have trouble lifting her right arm, but up they go as she skillfully and romantically scoops Owen up off the floor and carries him towards the altar.

Teagan leaves the wedding party by the thrones and goes to flop down in the pillows. Every wedding needs witnesses.

Jakem nods in affirmation of Mercy’s approach “Do you, Mercy whateveryourlastnameis take this man, Owen, to be your husband-gift from Wonder, to enjoy until you dost tire of him, and to discard when he fails to please you?”

As Owen is lifted, he lets out a complaint, but otherwise, doesn’t really struggle. There’s not much he can do when he’s tied, bound, and being carried like a Pretty Pretty Princess, lacking the real Princess materials though. The clothes he was supposed to wear are littered on the floor.

Mercy scrunches up her face and sniffles loudly, pretending to put on the waterworks like someone who’s probably never done it for real. “I dooooo.”

Jakem nods solemnly “And you, Owen whateverMercy’slastnameis, you take this woman-creature to be your wife. To cherish and to hold, to fetch the daily paper for, and to please to her heart’s content until she discards you.” There’s no question this time, it’s clearly a statement. “And so by the power vested in me by Wonder’s magnamity, I do pronounce you both husband and wife. You may kiss or otherwise enjoy the husband in a manner you deem fun.” he says then to Mercy.

“I do n-” Owen begins to say, but it wasn’t a question so Jakem keeps talking, right on over him.

Teagan taps her phone and holds it up after a moment. The classic wedding march begins playing through the speakers as Jakem declares them Mercy and warbride.

Obadiah clears his throat and raises his hand, “I object to this sacred union!”

Mercy bites down on her bottom lip to hold back more unBRIDE-led joy, or maybe just a laugh.

Jakem looks to Obadiah and nods “Please state your objection, Court representative.”

Teagan has to rapidly tap away but she does manage to get a RECORD SCRATCH soundbite in there!

Mercy only to gasp loudly and whirl around towards Obadiah, with Owen almost getting swung into nearby objects like a battering ram.

Owen’s legs flail, a little bit, since he’s still tied up as Mercy spins him around. “Hey! Watch out!”

Jakem has a moment of ADD as he looks to Teagan “Do you think it’d draw people to Wonder if we used warbrides as a reward for ranking?”

“I object on the grounds that Our Magnaomous Souvergn, Lord Matthew of Montrose, has not issued a decree allowing for consummation. Therefore there shall be no fornication under consent of the king and there for this must be annulled,” Obadiah nods, very logically, “Or we can find Matt and he can heal this all.”

Jakem then turns back to Obadiah to dutifully listen to the Court’s objection. “Oh, I’m Matt’s boss. Can I just like issue the decree for him to issue?”

Jakem says “Hey Matthew, as your VP I need to issue you an emergency order.“

Kaelyn bites her lip trying to stop the laugh that was threatening. A look of concern was given as Owen was nearly smashed into things. Scooping up one of the pillows she sneaks closer to the happy couple, ready to intercept in case of the head to object impacts.

Jakem says “Very. “

Teagan is having way too much fun playing media representative. Between rumor blasts and sound effects (like an audience *GAAAASP* when Obadiah reveals his reason for dissent), she is over on the pillows just giggling away.

Obadiah spreads his hands then, “Let me text him really quick like… Oh you already have him on the phone. If the boss says he’s good with it then his Eff You See Kay decree stands and I have no further objections.”

Owen mouths something at Kaelyn, that probably resembles a ‘thank you’, as she becomes the Protector with the Pillow!

Jakem says “Apparently I’ve been informed that in order for a warbride and wife to consumate their marriage, they need a decree from the Autumn King. If you could issue one right quick so we can finish this ceremony and eat?“

Jakem says “Do it on your podcast. You don’t need to get up.“

Mercy seems to have little regard for her betrothed as she pivots with each new gasp-worthy dramatic development, Owen yet being swung around like she’s all but forgotten she was even holding onto him. This marriage was destined for success, surely.

Jakem nods to Obadiah, tapping his comms “It’s coming, just hold on a second.”

Jakem says “Mercy and Owen.“

Obadiah nods as he texts with the rest of MPM Productions, “Yeah I have to play golf with him, but he said he will make the announcement.” He laughs and then grins at Owen and Mercy, “Very shortly you can fuck to your heart’s content.” Has he been working up to this one punchline? Yes. Yes he has.

Owen blinks at Mercy, and at Obadiah, “Can I object?”

Kaelyn was ready moving with the swing, though maybe it wasn’t needed this time. Still, the pillow stayed generally with the movement of Owen’s head. “Careful,” She said to Mercy.

Mercy snorts a loud scoff at Obadiah. “Why we wanna do that? I was jus’ gonna give him a two minute head start an’ then go huntin’ fer him as our consummation.”

“Okay well, can I at least object to being hunted?” Owen asks. “Because.. uh, that doesn’t sound very fun.”

“Oh my god,” Teagan says to Jakem. “We don’t just tell people our secrets. They have to pay for the seminar first.”

Mercy shushes Owen gently when he tries to object, then opts to ensure him like a supportive partner should. “Aigh’ fine a three minute head start then.”

Jakem nods firmly to Owen “Quite the bargain!”

“How about like three years?” Owen haggles upwards, “That’s a good deal!”

“The decree is incoming,” Teagan says, tapping at her phone again in preparation to return to the appropriately themed as deemed by Every Movie With A Wedding Scene Ever wedding music.

Then quickly, “You gotta let me marinate first, right?” Owen is hopeful, thinking this is a solid plan.

“Matt says it is coming very very shortly,” Obadiah says holding his phone to his ear. “I am glad this is all very legal.”

“I don’t know how you finish in that situation.” Liv says to Owen in low voice. “But I must say is hella fun.”

Mercy glances to someone pointedly then tells the victim in her arms, “Ayeah she righ’, I’m real traditional.”

Mercy glances to Teagan pointedly then tells the victim in her arms, “Ayeah she righ’, I’m real traditional.”

Kaelyn tilts her head to the side, “Nah, she definitely hasn’t eaten anyone. So probably safe.”

Owen breathes out, exhaling, squirming a little in the arms. “Can you at least put me down?”

Teagan taps her chin with her phone, considering Owen. Or maybe she’s just making eyes Obadiah past him. “I dunno… can we trust you not to run away?”

“What? Oh, yeah aigh’ sure my arm hurts anyhow.” Mercy says before obliging Owen’s request and unceremoniously dumping him to the floor on his side at her feet, a single boot lifted to come down on his outer hip to gently hold him there, or because she wanted to strike a good Captain Morgan victory pose.

“How am I going to run away!!!!” Owen half-shouts, as he is dumped from Mercy’s arms. Here’s hoping someone, the Protector with a Pillow was fast enough to stop him from any real damage. “I’M TIED UP!” And then there’s a boot on his outer hip. “AND I’M LITERALLY UNDER THE HEELS!”

And Kaelyn was vindicated, dropping down to catch or try to catch Owen’s head with said pillow. At least no physical brain damage today?

Teagan eyes the food and starts reaching toward the plate of fairy balls.

“How am I going to run away!!!!” Owen half-shouts, as he is dumped from Mercy’s arms. Here’s hoping Kaelyn, the Protector with a Pillow was fast enough to stop him from any real damage. “I’M TIED UP!” And then there’s a boot on his outer hip. “AND I’M LITERALLY UNDER THE HEELS!”

Mercy leans down some to shush Owen. “Save some of that spice fer the honeymoon, babe.”

Jakem whistles softly “Matthew’s certainly taking his sweet time.” he coughs “Well, let’s just assume it’s coming.” he bangs his shotgun into the floor with a thunderous *KATHUNK* and bellows “Marriage completed, Congratulations Mercy whatsername and Mr. Whatsername! Everyone, enjoy the refreshments, and know that when you’re ready the Den of Wonders is here to both provide venue AND catering for your special day.”

Obadiah rummages around in his pockets, “I mean, surely Jake has a sharpie around here somewhere? We can add a little decoration. Maybe draw a ring on his finger?” He lowers his voice, “Dick on his face? I mean that is the traditional wedding attire of my people.”

Liv gets close to Owen and kneel to talk to him. “Are you hurt dear? I think you are going to have the best night of your life.” Says to Owen while look to Mercy. “She is indeed a good match for you.” She nods before waking up again.

Mercy looses one of her southern “HOOOOOO!”s as the ceremony is complete and steps right on over Owen to head for the snacks and refreshments, calling out to him from over a shoulder, “Ain’ worry hun I’ll bring you some leftovers. Gotta make sure yer fit to run real fast later!”

As soon as Owen is out from under the heels of Mercy he’s slowly trying to inchworm his way to the door. Ignoring the dialogue, maybe, if he pretends not to see them, they can’t see him, right? But there is a whispered ‘thanks’ to Kaelyn, not forgetting about his protector.

NOW the wedding music plays and Teagan gets up from the pillows, one fairy ball in her mouth. She chews away as she makes her way to Obadiah’s side and… once she manages to finish chewing and swallowing, informs him: “I believe we have some unfinished business ourselves?” Thankfully she cuts off the music and puts her phone away *after* that comment.

Jakem taps his comms “Oh, and decree is in making it extra official.”

Mercy oouuus at the bottle of something put in with the drinks.

“Owen,” Teagan calls to the student-turned-warbride-turned-inchworm, “You’re just starting your three minutes early! You sure you want her to chase you down all tied up like that?”

Kaelyn pats Owen’s shoulder as he inches away, not exactly stopping him or helping. The sort of comfort someone would give another who was lost. Her head turns up to Mercy, “Congratz on the wedding.”

Still Owen inchworms to the door, making it closer and closer. Looking over his shoulder, he frowns at Teagan. “I mean, I’m gonna lose anyway!” Owen complains, “Let me go!” There’s a drink near him that Mercy is providing, but it’s not like he can grab it.

Teagan starts meandering her way over to Owen. “Just remember, Kaelyn. We specialize in reluctant grooms.” She likely catches up to the inchworm fairly quickly and tries to step on a limb to stop him. “If you stop wriggling all over, I’ll untie you.”

OwenLiv makes a good point, and Owen stops when Teagan steps directly on his hand – wincing out in pain slightly, “Okay, fine, I’ll stop wriggling!”

Jakem suprresses a yawn and gives a faint nod to Teagan “Well it’s been a pretty busy day for me, and I’ve got a wall to repair from a little psycho girl.” He turns to the gathering “Thank you all for coming, enjoy the food, enjoy the drinks, they’re all on the house. If you want something a little stronger, send me a text… numbers outside, and I can hook yah up.”

Mercy puts on her best blushing bride act and tuts at Kaelyn with wide, emotion-filled eyes, or at least her approximation of what that would look like which is really just making her look insane. “Stop, ain’ a thing. We all know yer next.” Then she’s off to the races- taking like two steps to close the gape between herself and her worm of a husband to crouch down by Owen with the bottle in a hand.

Kaelyn laughs as Teagan as that was said. “I am much to young to get married. Besides, if I catch him it’s going to be fair and square.”

Liv laughs. “See? Now Owen you can try to run but seeing her…” She chuckles “I will not even try it.”

“Mostly,” Teagan mutters to Owen, “I just may need these ropes later.” It probably takes her some time because she is not the expert in ropes that Obadiah is, but that just gives Mercy more time to eat and drink while she unties him.