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Jodies Anonymous Supernatural Support Group 240829
In an extraordinary meeting within the gymnasium of the Spender Arts and Wellness Center, Jodie's Anonymous Supernatural Support Group unfolded with intimate revelations and the shared trauma of its participants. Jodie, a werewolf struggling with her violent past and substance abuse, initiated the conversation by disclosing her challenging journey, from the thrill of her transformation into a wolf to the guilt of her first kill. Amy, presenting her life as a vampire since the sixties, related to a cycle of murder, drugs, and guilt, while Ash revealed their struggles with their faeborn identity and the dangers of their reckless quest for dangerous relationships. The attendees, each bearing the weight of their supernatural existence, candidly shared their experiences and the moral complexities they face, including the ethics of feeding on individuals who consent due to their own emotional damage.
The discussion took a deeper, more personal turn as Freya, another group member, added to the conversation with her recent troubles and inquiries about the disappearance of the Scions, a group mentioned by others with varying degrees of disdain or indifference. As the characters vulnerably discussed their darkest moments — from Jodie's guilt over enjoying her wolfish rampages to Ash's admission of being drawn to humiliating others without their consent — they found a sense of solidarity in their shared otherness. The group wrestled with the morality of their needs and desires, questioning whether catering to their darker impulses with willing participants was ethical or merely a dangerous indulgence of their addiction. The meeting, filled with moments of humor, solidarity, and stark honesty, ended without clear resolutions but with mutual understanding and an open door for future discussions, thus illuminating the complexities of living as supernatural beings within a world that scarcely understands them.
(Jodie's Anonymous Supernatural Support Group)
[Wed Aug 28 2024]
In the Gymnasium of the Spender Arts and Wellness Center at White Oak
The resounding echoes of athletic activity reverberate against the high, vaulted ceilings here, underscoring the energetic atmosphere that pulsates through the expansive, well-equipped space. The sleek, modern exercise machines and the polished hardwood floors reflect the soft, diffused lighting that illuminates the various training stations. The rhythmic thud of sneakers against the floor and the distant calls of coaches blend with the determined grunts and breaths of students and athletes.
It is about 80F(26C) degrees.
"We're all a little bit fucked up." Jodie admits to Ash bluntly. "So speaking of, I guess I'll go first." she tips her head to Ash and Amy in turn, "I'm Jodie, I'm a wolf and many worse things. I've been this way since I was just a kid cause thats what my family is all about." she briefly glances the time on her phone to ensure that yeah, its past time to begin before she looks to Amy, "Why don't you introduce yourself."
Amy shrugs her shoulders, "I'm Amy. I'm a vampire. I got turned on April twenty-third in nineteen sixty-four by a man on my way home from the diner where I worked." She says, "Since then it's been a life of murder, drugs, and guilt."
Jodie seems to show some recognition of Amy when her name is given. She nods then looks to Ash, "And you?"
Ash takes it as their turn next, saying, "I'm Ash... I'm faeborn. I still don't really know what it means, just that all doors are slammed in my face because... everyone hates the fae. I... woke in the water, drowning, and... I don't really do drugs, but I know that I seek... dangerous men when I go out of control, and it may kill me one day." Glancing over at Amy, they add, "The guilt, and more, the guilt over a lack of guilt... well, it's a lot."
"Everyone thinks this life is going to be cool. Who wouldn't want super powers?" Jodie says, asking rhetorically then she nods towards Amy, "Or to live forever?" she wets her lips then clears her throat, "For me, I grew up in the Moore family and as soon as I was old enough, I was turned into a wolf at thirteen. It's sort of a right of passage in my family..it was great honestly. I think I liked it too much."
She pauses to glance to the hall before saying, "I think I liked it too much, I'd run wild and do dangerous things. I wouldn't listen to my elders. It wasn't long before I killed my first innocent.." she winces at this last line
Ash looks up at Jodie when she says that she liked it too much, a difficult expression on their face - but not judgement. There's some solidarity there. They are quiet, though, unsure if she's done speaking.
Freya stumbles into the gym wearing scrubs, looking rather out of it as she clings to the doorway. "Jodie.."
Amy listens, her gaze on Jodie as she talks. She only speaks when the other woman winces and trails off- cut off by Freya's arrival.
"You'd think after waking up with a body I'd do something differently." Jodie goes on, her smokers voice adds a layer of hoarseness to her husky voice. She pauses at Freya's arrival and upnods her with a vague wave around at all the empty seating till she realizes something is up with Freya, "What happened to you?"
Ash looks up to see who comes in, then sits up as they recognize Freya. Their eyes look her over, clearly looking for wounds more than appreciating her. "He hasn't hurt you yet?" They ask the newcomer.
Freya rubs her face and shakes her head as she stumbles in a bit further collapsing into a chair. "No I hid in the girls dorms to sleep... Scions actually were crazy enough to pay the 15 grand for the warrent... Can someone get me a phone?"
Ash adds, "The Scions are done... but if you're not out, I guess that means he did it personally?" They shrug, saying, "I don't know how it all works."
Freya says "i meant after like a burner"
Freya gasps slightly, a shiver going though her.
Amy says "What's a Scion?"
"Well. You look like you belong here either way." Jodie tells Freya, a little humor in her voice. "I was just going over the first time I killed someone as a wolf, you probably have a similar story to me. You've killed haven't you?"
Freya turns blurry eyes towards Jodie and then tries hard to focus on Ash, "What happened to scions?"
Ash shrugs, saying, "Sorry, this is the wrong backpack for that. And they are no more, Amy. A bunch of slaves to a vile dragon who've figured out how to get free, I guess." They don't elaborate further, beckoning Freya over, then patting the seat next to them. "Come here. We can talk about them afterwards, and I'll grab you a phone, yeah?"
"Petition for a couple days towards your release and the cost of keeping you here will go up. This should be a short stay depending on who paid for you to be here." Jodie tells Freya, seemingly very knowledgable about the clinic and how it works. She slaps her hands down on her knees and says, "Now we are here to do emotions and stuff. Dunno. Should we keep going?"
Amy shrugs again, "I'll stay if you all are."
Ash nods to Jodie, saying, "We should keep going."
Freya gets up to stumble over to Ash, leaning against his shoulder as little shivers run through her. "Okay.." She murmurs agreeably seeming a bit of it.
"As I was saying." Jodie starts. Huffing then taking a moment to collect her thoughts. "After I killed the first time, I didn't make any changes. IN fact I probably got a lot worse." she absently rubs her leg like she was going through some sort of nervous tick while talking more seriously. "Around that time in my life, mind you I was thirteen. I discovered sex, started drinking. Doing drugs. A lot of all of those things came crashing down on me and every month a full moon would send me off the deep end."
Jodie motions across to Amy, asking, "You probably don't have much experience in the way of drugs or alcohol. Being a biter and all. How'd you deal with your first kill?"
"As I was saying." Jodie starts. Huffing then taking a moment to collect her thoughts. "After I killed the first time, I didn't make any changes. IN fact I probably got a lot worse." she absently rubs her leg like she was going through some sort of nervous tick while talking more seriously. "Around that time in my life, mind you I was thirteen. I discovered sex, started drinking. Doing drugs. A lot of all of those things came crashing down on me and every month a full moon would send me off the deep end." (repost 1)
Jodie didn't actually throw the question to Amy as she's busy. Instead she just says, "Anyways, thats all I'm sharing for now till someone else talks." then she looks to Ash expectantly.
Freya leans against Ash's shoulder rocking slightly but she reaches a hand towards Jodie as if wanting the other wolf's touch.
Jodie notices what Freya is trying to do, she hesitates visibly but soon relents and offers a hand out to Freya to make that physical connection.
Ash sighs as they find the attention on them again. They consider, eyeing Freya as they choose their wording. "There's a lot I *want* to talk about, but can't. But what I can say... for reasons, my faeborn... ness was blocked until a month or two ago now, when I came to Haven. My family are... they don't have the blood, and would rather punish and control me than inform me. So, it came crashing here. In particular, one painful day, in one painful week." They inhale carefully, holding it a moment before exhaling.
Freya reaches out to touch Jodie's hand, seeming really quite drugged and loopy. She just leans her head against Ash and pats his shoulder with her other hand, squinting as the objects clatter to the ground. "No one sees that?" She asks flinching.
Ash continues, "It was a bad week - I nearly drowned *again* when I fell into the ocean, the nightmares and torment... I had to betray a friend. For his own good, for the sake of the town... but lying to his face, taking his money, and... it wasn't great. But, more importantly, I wanted to feel more guilty than I was." They close their eyes, leaning back as they sigh again, as if they need to expel the memories completely. "That day, I was seeking a bit of joy... trying to catch my boyfriend... to become my boyfriend... and then the door came."
They let Jodie distract them, though, easily. "I have... but she wanted it. And I felt disgusted... but it wasn't what I was doing as much as it was not enjoying that... flavor of torment. I wasn't interested in what she wanted, just going through the emotions because power felt good."
Ash tilts their head, adding, "I was involved in a murder, though... technically, my hands are clean. That's how it goes, of course."
"There is a lot of people in this town who want to be the target of our worst desires. Is it better we let them have it instead of innocent people?" Jodie ask, earnestly sending that question out to the rest of the group. "Is it somehow better to feed on and hurt the willing, even though they are clearly doing it out of their own emotional damage?" she takes a breath then says, "Maybe put it this way, is it ethical to give an addict, more drugs?"
"They're consenting adults. They get to make their own choice. Until they want change they'll keep getting it from other sources anyways." Freya yawns, showing off her wicked canines.
Ash flinches back at Jodie's question, more than their past words would let them believe. When they speak, their words are fast, feverish. "I... this place is *filled* to the *brim* with willing victims. Begging to be hurt. There's... something in the air, in the water. I feel it, sometimes... when I'm weak. And I don't fear death, so long as it comes in a certain way." They inhale, having hissed it in a single breath. They breathe, carefully, before saying, "I... don't know. It's better to try and give addicts a safer means to do drugs than it is to try to stop them. But feeding their addiction is... different. It's not not about keeping them safe while they sin, it's being complicit in their sins."
Ash rubs the back of their neck with one hand, ashen dreadlocks still hanging forward as they keep their head bent. "But at the same time... the question is, is it addiction? Or is it water?"
Jodie gives a 'I dont know gesture by splaying her palm face up' "I dont got any answers either." she glances to Freya before looking to the others. "Ever since I learned the whole world is probably coming to an end I sort of don't know my place in it anymore. Or maybe I never did. If I was a good person I'd have offed myself a long time ago. But I'm too much of a coward to do that."
Ash shakes their head, speaking with sudden firmness, "It's better to give an addict more drugs, because you can ensure that it is safe, controlled, and that it doesn't drive them to do anything else. Anything dangerous. Better to ensure that they fulfill their needs and desires with someone who can handle it, lessen the danger, and encourage them to be free of it altogether, then to refuse on some ethical principle. Because they won't stop, as Freya says, they're just going to get it from somewhere else. From someone who won't give a shit, will give them dirty needles and lace their shit."
Jodie says "Oh so, we're moral paragons by being the ones feeding the addiction cause we think we can control ourselves from going to far?""
Jodie says, repost, "Oh so, we're moral paragons by being the ones feeding the addiction cause we think we can control ourselves from going to far?" "
Ash then looks up to Jodie, saying, "We're all going to die, Jodie. Does it really matter if it's in 13 years or 40? We want to live longer, but the real reason to live is to enjoy it, to find passion. And no... I thought you meant two separate people. The addict and the enabler. If you're asking what we should do about yourselves... that's different. Fighting addiction is different."
Freya is still leaning against Ash when a orderly comes in to tell her she's being released. She can only nod sleepily as she leans into Ash and Jodie. "I don't know if I can control myself from going too far once I start." She admits softly, "That's why I didn't offer things but... I think I'm going to."
Ash continues, "If we're talking about ourselves... the first step is to want to. Then, to wean yourself, slowly, control. Cold turkey is not easy, better to tell yourself, 'Not today, next time.' That means that giving in is part of the process. Less guilt, less torment that drives you back from what you try to escape. But... the first step is the hardest." They pause, adding, "I'm no... counselor, I'm an art student. That's just what I think."
Jodie scratches her cheek idly as she has a thoughtful look on her face then she looks about the others in the sparsely populated circle. "The wolves and vamps here don't have it so easy to wean off. It's in our blood and bones to go a little nuts sometimes. For me and Freya, its the moon every month coming out and sayin' go fuckin' nuts." she glances to Amy, "For Amy there, it's her need to eat." she looks then to Ash, "And for you, maybe you need to feed too but feeding like that is usually something you can hold back, at the cost of being weak. Are you willing to be weak so that you don't hurt people?"
Freya squeezes Jodie's hands, "I think you just convinced me to tie people up and do things to them." She tells Jodie with an amused giggle that is very unlike her.
Jodie barks a laugh at Freya and says, "Well fuck, then this little group totally went the wrong direction didn't it?"
Amy says "Fifty-six. "
Freya still seems drunk, somewhat happy drunk and inihibited, "I kept resisting.. Because... Men. But..." She shakes her head, "My wolf enjoys that power. I shouldn't deny her anymore."
"Fuck me." Jodie breathes at Amy then takes a moment, "Well. One or two a year..its about on my pace." she shudders thinking about it. "Well at least there is only 13 more years. I'll never quite catch up to you."
Ash sighs, leaning back. "No, and that's the first step." They don't seem proud of it, more frustrated. "I've been told that I *need* to feed, that resisting is going to make me explode. The whole reason I hurt her in the first place was to figure it out. I have to... figure out how to feed, properly... without throwing myself to the wooo- uh... to predators, or becoming one. Little things... little things that may not kill, may...." They ramble off, words rolling to a standstill as they try to figure it out. They let the conversation move on, trying to think on it.
"New subject before we finish up for the night." Jodie suggest. Taking on a bit of authoritive tone to drive the meeting on. She raises a hand, "Raise your hand if you've slept with someone you didn't even like, just cause you needed to feel normal, or be validated?"
Amy rolls her shoulders at Jodie, "Yeah. At first I tried to just starve, but then you wake up and there's a body. Then I tried to be careful, wake up and there's a body. Even in prison. I'm old now." She raises her hand, "Yeah."
"So feed off the willing. You could feel off of your lover.. and feed him back." Freya tells Ash amusedly, "In a bit of round about fun if you really wanted to... " She looks at Jodie and shakes her head, "But I'm going to."
Amy says "Just don't accidentally kill 'em."
Freya nods at Amy, "I'll try not to anyways." She admits in her happy drunk state. "Dead bodies are hard to get rid of."
Ash considers Jodie's question, tilting their head, fingers tapping in a wave on their arm. After a moment, they seem to be satisfied with not raising their hand. They say to Freya, "The sort of thing I need, he hates the most. That's the biggest reason I came here today."
Freya turns to look at Ash, her teal eyes studying him, "What do you need?" She asks curiously.
"I had a serious misadventure recently. Fuckin' around with a guy who honestly. Kinda a creep." Jodie says, lowering her hand to her lap. "I did that cliche thing, cryin' after it was over cause I was so fuckin' pissed off at myself." she lets out a sigh, "He blew up my phone for a few days trying to recover with me but I don't want anything to do with that. I dont want to be reminded of how low I got."
Freya gives Jodie's hand a squeeze, "That's okay too. You probably never offered anything more than a fling right?"
Amy glances at Ash, then past Freya and to Jodie, "Easiest way to feed. In bed. Blood, I mean. So I mean, I get sleeping with people you don't want to be with."
Ash looks at the floor, they say, "Amusement. Not from pain... but at the expense of others." They look back at Jodie, and say, "Sounds like it could be what I was talking about earlier. In the air and water... this need to be consumed or used. It's... powerful. You find yourself looking for filth." They look down and away, lips twisted in disgust.
Freya tilts her head at Ash, "Like humiliation? I mean you could just use Fayad for that..."
Ash rubs their neck again, shivering slightly as they recall their own memories.
"Yeah, just physical. From time to time I go full slut and just try to be noticed by someone. You know?" Jodie tells Freya with a wince. She seems willing to be very forthcoming here. "Doesn't happen often to be fair to me." she takes her hand back from Freya, but not retreat from her but instead draw the meeting towards an end, "I think we've run on long enough. I'm not sure if we'll do this again, unless there's some interest. Maybe make it a bi-monthly or monthly thing.."
Ash snaps their head to Freya, saying, "No. I don't want to touch him. I don't want to see him. I want nothing to do with him." They look ticked off, looking away.
Jodie says "That guy is a bottom if I've ever seen one."
"Right I just mean... there are mean people out there you can punish with that stuff if you really want to." Freya tells Ash, "People who deserve it. Fayad... is my embodiment of those people I guess."
Freya says "Emmaual. Novel."
Ash nods at Jodie, saying, "Let me know... I think this was a... good use of my time. Good conversation and... thinking."
Freya turns to Ash, "Can you stay and tell me about the scions?" She asks softly.
Jodie glances over her shoulder to the empty gymnasium. Frowning as though she expected to see something or someone. She doesn't mention it and instead says, "I think it was a good conversation. I shouldn't have to state this, but if anything leaves this group that is said here. I'll hunt you down."
Amy says "Aye. "
Ash turns back to Freya, speaking with a heated hiss, "I don't want to *punish* people, Freya. And even if I did, I have nothing to punish him for. I don't even know the rest of them. And there's nothing... they just stopped existing." They nod at Jodie, visibly relaxing a bit as they do so. "Yes... thank you."
Ash adds to Freya, "They're still alive...," they look over their phone before saying, "Oh... interesting. Disruptors."
"Oh... you want people to like it... there are... some people who like humiliation." Freya looks thoughtful, "Get off on it... But alot of people don't." She tilts her haed towards Ash, "Disruptors?"
"Yeah, so why the fuck are you even here? Who paid the warrant?" Jodie ask, looking to Freya
Freya turns back to Jodie, her silvery hair shifting about her shoulders as she still smiles all drunk like, "Scions. I guess that bankrupted them.."
Ash shakes their head, saying, "No, not for them to like it, either. That's irrelevant." To Jodie, "The leader of the Disruptors."
Jodie says "Yeah, that was an expensive warrant and it probably killed them instantly. Idiots"
Freya says "They also put one out on Selina also 15 grand"
Jodie says "They might want to stop doing that. It's not a very kosher way to get a hold of people"
Amy nods.
Amy says "Invites retaliation."
Freya leans back in her chair, letting out a soft sigh as she brings a lock of her silvery hair to her lips and gnaws on the tips. "Well Selina already had almost all of them in the clinic. Some of them are still here."
Freya says "Including one of your temple buddies that was serving the scions way more than the temple"
Amy says "Oh? "
Amy says "Which? "
Freya says "Emmanual "
Amy says "Ah. My handler."
Ash reads something on their phone before saying, "It's what Fayad wanted the Scions to be. Fuck the Man. Kind of literally... the ideological concept of The Man is their enemies. Big business, and so on." To Jodie, they explain, "I don't think they're dead... I think they broke free of their slavery. And now are using their fire to actually make a difference instead of enslaving others. It would be cool, except... well, it's not cool for me."
"I don't really keep track of all that shit. Politics and stuff." Jodie relays when the Temple is brought up. "Don't think I've even seen Sam in six months and she's a demolisher too."
Amy says "I just do what they tell me to. Chips are no joke."
Freya tilts her head towards Ash, "Fayad has always been tempted to be ...even more than a templar. They want to kill supernaturals and free humans. I bet their goals won't have changed even with a new cult."
Ash touches their neck at the mention of chips before responding to Freya, "The dragon was their biggest issue. They're still the same, they're my problem, but a lot of the *extra* stuff that they were attacked for... it was mostly lizard related. It's just their personal beefs now, as well as the Hand."
Amy touches her own neck.
Ash starts to clarify something, but shrugs, changing their mind.
"Why are they your problem?" Freya asks Ash curiously, "And they're not wrong." Her teal eyes study the man before flicking towards Amy at her question, as if she's also curious.
Jodie pushes up from her seat and grunts softly, "Well, I'm gonna call it a night for me." she glances to Freya, "Should I be kicking the shit out of this Fayad prick when I see him?"
Freya gets to her feet and offers Jodie a lopsided hug, "I dont know.. that's what got us in this. He hates me. But I'll talk to him. See if he's changed."
Ash looks over to Amy, giving her a moment's thought before nodding, slowly. "Let's just say, I've haven't had had control over my life until... well, maybe never."
Ash shakes their head, saying, "No, Freya. He will still hate you. He always will."
Amy nods to Ash, "Welcome to the club, then," she chuckles lightly, "Chip club."
Jodie says "Maybe this is a Templar support group."
The discussion took a deeper, more personal turn as Freya, another group member, added to the conversation with her recent troubles and inquiries about the disappearance of the Scions, a group mentioned by others with varying degrees of disdain or indifference. As the characters vulnerably discussed their darkest moments — from Jodie's guilt over enjoying her wolfish rampages to Ash's admission of being drawn to humiliating others without their consent — they found a sense of solidarity in their shared otherness. The group wrestled with the morality of their needs and desires, questioning whether catering to their darker impulses with willing participants was ethical or merely a dangerous indulgence of their addiction. The meeting, filled with moments of humor, solidarity, and stark honesty, ended without clear resolutions but with mutual understanding and an open door for future discussions, thus illuminating the complexities of living as supernatural beings within a world that scarcely understands them.
(Jodie's Anonymous Supernatural Support Group)
[Wed Aug 28 2024]
In the Gymnasium of the Spender Arts and Wellness Center at White Oak
The resounding echoes of athletic activity reverberate against the high, vaulted ceilings here, underscoring the energetic atmosphere that pulsates through the expansive, well-equipped space. The sleek, modern exercise machines and the polished hardwood floors reflect the soft, diffused lighting that illuminates the various training stations. The rhythmic thud of sneakers against the floor and the distant calls of coaches blend with the determined grunts and breaths of students and athletes.
It is about 80F(26C) degrees.
"We're all a little bit fucked up." Jodie admits to Ash bluntly. "So speaking of, I guess I'll go first." she tips her head to Ash and Amy in turn, "I'm Jodie, I'm a wolf and many worse things. I've been this way since I was just a kid cause thats what my family is all about." she briefly glances the time on her phone to ensure that yeah, its past time to begin before she looks to Amy, "Why don't you introduce yourself."
Amy shrugs her shoulders, "I'm Amy. I'm a vampire. I got turned on April twenty-third in nineteen sixty-four by a man on my way home from the diner where I worked." She says, "Since then it's been a life of murder, drugs, and guilt."
Jodie seems to show some recognition of Amy when her name is given. She nods then looks to Ash, "And you?"
Ash takes it as their turn next, saying, "I'm Ash... I'm faeborn. I still don't really know what it means, just that all doors are slammed in my face because... everyone hates the fae. I... woke in the water, drowning, and... I don't really do drugs, but I know that I seek... dangerous men when I go out of control, and it may kill me one day." Glancing over at Amy, they add, "The guilt, and more, the guilt over a lack of guilt... well, it's a lot."
"Everyone thinks this life is going to be cool. Who wouldn't want super powers?" Jodie says, asking rhetorically then she nods towards Amy, "Or to live forever?" she wets her lips then clears her throat, "For me, I grew up in the Moore family and as soon as I was old enough, I was turned into a wolf at thirteen. It's sort of a right of passage in my family..it was great honestly. I think I liked it too much."
She pauses to glance to the hall before saying, "I think I liked it too much, I'd run wild and do dangerous things. I wouldn't listen to my elders. It wasn't long before I killed my first innocent.." she winces at this last line
Ash looks up at Jodie when she says that she liked it too much, a difficult expression on their face - but not judgement. There's some solidarity there. They are quiet, though, unsure if she's done speaking.
Freya stumbles into the gym wearing scrubs, looking rather out of it as she clings to the doorway. "Jodie.."
Amy listens, her gaze on Jodie as she talks. She only speaks when the other woman winces and trails off- cut off by Freya's arrival.
"You'd think after waking up with a body I'd do something differently." Jodie goes on, her smokers voice adds a layer of hoarseness to her husky voice. She pauses at Freya's arrival and upnods her with a vague wave around at all the empty seating till she realizes something is up with Freya, "What happened to you?"
Ash looks up to see who comes in, then sits up as they recognize Freya. Their eyes look her over, clearly looking for wounds more than appreciating her. "He hasn't hurt you yet?" They ask the newcomer.
Freya rubs her face and shakes her head as she stumbles in a bit further collapsing into a chair. "No I hid in the girls dorms to sleep... Scions actually were crazy enough to pay the 15 grand for the warrent... Can someone get me a phone?"
Ash adds, "The Scions are done... but if you're not out, I guess that means he did it personally?" They shrug, saying, "I don't know how it all works."
Freya says "i meant after like a burner"
Freya gasps slightly, a shiver going though her.
Amy says "What's a Scion?"
"Well. You look like you belong here either way." Jodie tells Freya, a little humor in her voice. "I was just going over the first time I killed someone as a wolf, you probably have a similar story to me. You've killed haven't you?"
Freya turns blurry eyes towards Jodie and then tries hard to focus on Ash, "What happened to scions?"
Ash shrugs, saying, "Sorry, this is the wrong backpack for that. And they are no more, Amy. A bunch of slaves to a vile dragon who've figured out how to get free, I guess." They don't elaborate further, beckoning Freya over, then patting the seat next to them. "Come here. We can talk about them afterwards, and I'll grab you a phone, yeah?"
"Petition for a couple days towards your release and the cost of keeping you here will go up. This should be a short stay depending on who paid for you to be here." Jodie tells Freya, seemingly very knowledgable about the clinic and how it works. She slaps her hands down on her knees and says, "Now we are here to do emotions and stuff. Dunno. Should we keep going?"
Amy shrugs again, "I'll stay if you all are."
Ash nods to Jodie, saying, "We should keep going."
Freya gets up to stumble over to Ash, leaning against his shoulder as little shivers run through her. "Okay.." She murmurs agreeably seeming a bit of it.
"As I was saying." Jodie starts. Huffing then taking a moment to collect her thoughts. "After I killed the first time, I didn't make any changes. IN fact I probably got a lot worse." she absently rubs her leg like she was going through some sort of nervous tick while talking more seriously. "Around that time in my life, mind you I was thirteen. I discovered sex, started drinking. Doing drugs. A lot of all of those things came crashing down on me and every month a full moon would send me off the deep end."
Jodie motions across to Amy, asking, "You probably don't have much experience in the way of drugs or alcohol. Being a biter and all. How'd you deal with your first kill?"
"As I was saying." Jodie starts. Huffing then taking a moment to collect her thoughts. "After I killed the first time, I didn't make any changes. IN fact I probably got a lot worse." she absently rubs her leg like she was going through some sort of nervous tick while talking more seriously. "Around that time in my life, mind you I was thirteen. I discovered sex, started drinking. Doing drugs. A lot of all of those things came crashing down on me and every month a full moon would send me off the deep end." (repost 1)
Jodie didn't actually throw the question to Amy as she's busy. Instead she just says, "Anyways, thats all I'm sharing for now till someone else talks." then she looks to Ash expectantly.
Freya leans against Ash's shoulder rocking slightly but she reaches a hand towards Jodie as if wanting the other wolf's touch.
Jodie notices what Freya is trying to do, she hesitates visibly but soon relents and offers a hand out to Freya to make that physical connection.
Ash sighs as they find the attention on them again. They consider, eyeing Freya as they choose their wording. "There's a lot I *want* to talk about, but can't. But what I can say... for reasons, my faeborn... ness was blocked until a month or two ago now, when I came to Haven. My family are... they don't have the blood, and would rather punish and control me than inform me. So, it came crashing here. In particular, one painful day, in one painful week." They inhale carefully, holding it a moment before exhaling.
Freya reaches out to touch Jodie's hand, seeming really quite drugged and loopy. She just leans her head against Ash and pats his shoulder with her other hand, squinting as the objects clatter to the ground. "No one sees that?" She asks flinching.
Ash continues, "It was a bad week - I nearly drowned *again* when I fell into the ocean, the nightmares and torment... I had to betray a friend. For his own good, for the sake of the town... but lying to his face, taking his money, and... it wasn't great. But, more importantly, I wanted to feel more guilty than I was." They close their eyes, leaning back as they sigh again, as if they need to expel the memories completely. "That day, I was seeking a bit of joy... trying to catch my boyfriend... to become my boyfriend... and then the door came."
They let Jodie distract them, though, easily. "I have... but she wanted it. And I felt disgusted... but it wasn't what I was doing as much as it was not enjoying that... flavor of torment. I wasn't interested in what she wanted, just going through the emotions because power felt good."
Ash tilts their head, adding, "I was involved in a murder, though... technically, my hands are clean. That's how it goes, of course."
"There is a lot of people in this town who want to be the target of our worst desires. Is it better we let them have it instead of innocent people?" Jodie ask, earnestly sending that question out to the rest of the group. "Is it somehow better to feed on and hurt the willing, even though they are clearly doing it out of their own emotional damage?" she takes a breath then says, "Maybe put it this way, is it ethical to give an addict, more drugs?"
"They're consenting adults. They get to make their own choice. Until they want change they'll keep getting it from other sources anyways." Freya yawns, showing off her wicked canines.
Ash flinches back at Jodie's question, more than their past words would let them believe. When they speak, their words are fast, feverish. "I... this place is *filled* to the *brim* with willing victims. Begging to be hurt. There's... something in the air, in the water. I feel it, sometimes... when I'm weak. And I don't fear death, so long as it comes in a certain way." They inhale, having hissed it in a single breath. They breathe, carefully, before saying, "I... don't know. It's better to try and give addicts a safer means to do drugs than it is to try to stop them. But feeding their addiction is... different. It's not not about keeping them safe while they sin, it's being complicit in their sins."
Ash rubs the back of their neck with one hand, ashen dreadlocks still hanging forward as they keep their head bent. "But at the same time... the question is, is it addiction? Or is it water?"
Jodie gives a 'I dont know gesture by splaying her palm face up' "I dont got any answers either." she glances to Freya before looking to the others. "Ever since I learned the whole world is probably coming to an end I sort of don't know my place in it anymore. Or maybe I never did. If I was a good person I'd have offed myself a long time ago. But I'm too much of a coward to do that."
Ash shakes their head, speaking with sudden firmness, "It's better to give an addict more drugs, because you can ensure that it is safe, controlled, and that it doesn't drive them to do anything else. Anything dangerous. Better to ensure that they fulfill their needs and desires with someone who can handle it, lessen the danger, and encourage them to be free of it altogether, then to refuse on some ethical principle. Because they won't stop, as Freya says, they're just going to get it from somewhere else. From someone who won't give a shit, will give them dirty needles and lace their shit."
Jodie says "Oh so, we're moral paragons by being the ones feeding the addiction cause we think we can control ourselves from going to far?""
Jodie says, repost, "Oh so, we're moral paragons by being the ones feeding the addiction cause we think we can control ourselves from going to far?" "
Ash then looks up to Jodie, saying, "We're all going to die, Jodie. Does it really matter if it's in 13 years or 40? We want to live longer, but the real reason to live is to enjoy it, to find passion. And no... I thought you meant two separate people. The addict and the enabler. If you're asking what we should do about yourselves... that's different. Fighting addiction is different."
Freya is still leaning against Ash when a orderly comes in to tell her she's being released. She can only nod sleepily as she leans into Ash and Jodie. "I don't know if I can control myself from going too far once I start." She admits softly, "That's why I didn't offer things but... I think I'm going to."
Ash continues, "If we're talking about ourselves... the first step is to want to. Then, to wean yourself, slowly, control. Cold turkey is not easy, better to tell yourself, 'Not today, next time.' That means that giving in is part of the process. Less guilt, less torment that drives you back from what you try to escape. But... the first step is the hardest." They pause, adding, "I'm no... counselor, I'm an art student. That's just what I think."
Jodie scratches her cheek idly as she has a thoughtful look on her face then she looks about the others in the sparsely populated circle. "The wolves and vamps here don't have it so easy to wean off. It's in our blood and bones to go a little nuts sometimes. For me and Freya, its the moon every month coming out and sayin' go fuckin' nuts." she glances to Amy, "For Amy there, it's her need to eat." she looks then to Ash, "And for you, maybe you need to feed too but feeding like that is usually something you can hold back, at the cost of being weak. Are you willing to be weak so that you don't hurt people?"
Freya squeezes Jodie's hands, "I think you just convinced me to tie people up and do things to them." She tells Jodie with an amused giggle that is very unlike her.
Jodie barks a laugh at Freya and says, "Well fuck, then this little group totally went the wrong direction didn't it?"
Amy says "Fifty-six. "
Freya still seems drunk, somewhat happy drunk and inihibited, "I kept resisting.. Because... Men. But..." She shakes her head, "My wolf enjoys that power. I shouldn't deny her anymore."
"Fuck me." Jodie breathes at Amy then takes a moment, "Well. One or two a year..its about on my pace." she shudders thinking about it. "Well at least there is only 13 more years. I'll never quite catch up to you."
Ash sighs, leaning back. "No, and that's the first step." They don't seem proud of it, more frustrated. "I've been told that I *need* to feed, that resisting is going to make me explode. The whole reason I hurt her in the first place was to figure it out. I have to... figure out how to feed, properly... without throwing myself to the wooo- uh... to predators, or becoming one. Little things... little things that may not kill, may...." They ramble off, words rolling to a standstill as they try to figure it out. They let the conversation move on, trying to think on it.
"New subject before we finish up for the night." Jodie suggest. Taking on a bit of authoritive tone to drive the meeting on. She raises a hand, "Raise your hand if you've slept with someone you didn't even like, just cause you needed to feel normal, or be validated?"
Amy rolls her shoulders at Jodie, "Yeah. At first I tried to just starve, but then you wake up and there's a body. Then I tried to be careful, wake up and there's a body. Even in prison. I'm old now." She raises her hand, "Yeah."
"So feed off the willing. You could feel off of your lover.. and feed him back." Freya tells Ash amusedly, "In a bit of round about fun if you really wanted to... " She looks at Jodie and shakes her head, "But I'm going to."
Amy says "Just don't accidentally kill 'em."
Freya nods at Amy, "I'll try not to anyways." She admits in her happy drunk state. "Dead bodies are hard to get rid of."
Ash considers Jodie's question, tilting their head, fingers tapping in a wave on their arm. After a moment, they seem to be satisfied with not raising their hand. They say to Freya, "The sort of thing I need, he hates the most. That's the biggest reason I came here today."
Freya turns to look at Ash, her teal eyes studying him, "What do you need?" She asks curiously.
"I had a serious misadventure recently. Fuckin' around with a guy who honestly. Kinda a creep." Jodie says, lowering her hand to her lap. "I did that cliche thing, cryin' after it was over cause I was so fuckin' pissed off at myself." she lets out a sigh, "He blew up my phone for a few days trying to recover with me but I don't want anything to do with that. I dont want to be reminded of how low I got."
Freya gives Jodie's hand a squeeze, "That's okay too. You probably never offered anything more than a fling right?"
Amy glances at Ash, then past Freya and to Jodie, "Easiest way to feed. In bed. Blood, I mean. So I mean, I get sleeping with people you don't want to be with."
Ash looks at the floor, they say, "Amusement. Not from pain... but at the expense of others." They look back at Jodie, and say, "Sounds like it could be what I was talking about earlier. In the air and water... this need to be consumed or used. It's... powerful. You find yourself looking for filth." They look down and away, lips twisted in disgust.
Freya tilts her head at Ash, "Like humiliation? I mean you could just use Fayad for that..."
Ash rubs their neck again, shivering slightly as they recall their own memories.
"Yeah, just physical. From time to time I go full slut and just try to be noticed by someone. You know?" Jodie tells Freya with a wince. She seems willing to be very forthcoming here. "Doesn't happen often to be fair to me." she takes her hand back from Freya, but not retreat from her but instead draw the meeting towards an end, "I think we've run on long enough. I'm not sure if we'll do this again, unless there's some interest. Maybe make it a bi-monthly or monthly thing.."
Ash snaps their head to Freya, saying, "No. I don't want to touch him. I don't want to see him. I want nothing to do with him." They look ticked off, looking away.
Jodie says "That guy is a bottom if I've ever seen one."
"Right I just mean... there are mean people out there you can punish with that stuff if you really want to." Freya tells Ash, "People who deserve it. Fayad... is my embodiment of those people I guess."
Freya says "Emmaual. Novel."
Ash nods at Jodie, saying, "Let me know... I think this was a... good use of my time. Good conversation and... thinking."
Freya turns to Ash, "Can you stay and tell me about the scions?" She asks softly.
Jodie glances over her shoulder to the empty gymnasium. Frowning as though she expected to see something or someone. She doesn't mention it and instead says, "I think it was a good conversation. I shouldn't have to state this, but if anything leaves this group that is said here. I'll hunt you down."
Amy says "Aye. "
Ash turns back to Freya, speaking with a heated hiss, "I don't want to *punish* people, Freya. And even if I did, I have nothing to punish him for. I don't even know the rest of them. And there's nothing... they just stopped existing." They nod at Jodie, visibly relaxing a bit as they do so. "Yes... thank you."
Ash adds to Freya, "They're still alive...," they look over their phone before saying, "Oh... interesting. Disruptors."
"Oh... you want people to like it... there are... some people who like humiliation." Freya looks thoughtful, "Get off on it... But alot of people don't." She tilts her haed towards Ash, "Disruptors?"
"Yeah, so why the fuck are you even here? Who paid the warrant?" Jodie ask, looking to Freya
Freya turns back to Jodie, her silvery hair shifting about her shoulders as she still smiles all drunk like, "Scions. I guess that bankrupted them.."
Ash shakes their head, saying, "No, not for them to like it, either. That's irrelevant." To Jodie, "The leader of the Disruptors."
Jodie says "Yeah, that was an expensive warrant and it probably killed them instantly. Idiots"
Freya says "They also put one out on Selina also 15 grand"
Jodie says "They might want to stop doing that. It's not a very kosher way to get a hold of people"
Amy nods.
Amy says "Invites retaliation."
Freya leans back in her chair, letting out a soft sigh as she brings a lock of her silvery hair to her lips and gnaws on the tips. "Well Selina already had almost all of them in the clinic. Some of them are still here."
Freya says "Including one of your temple buddies that was serving the scions way more than the temple"
Amy says "Oh? "
Amy says "Which? "
Freya says "Emmanual "
Amy says "Ah. My handler."
Ash reads something on their phone before saying, "It's what Fayad wanted the Scions to be. Fuck the Man. Kind of literally... the ideological concept of The Man is their enemies. Big business, and so on." To Jodie, they explain, "I don't think they're dead... I think they broke free of their slavery. And now are using their fire to actually make a difference instead of enslaving others. It would be cool, except... well, it's not cool for me."
"I don't really keep track of all that shit. Politics and stuff." Jodie relays when the Temple is brought up. "Don't think I've even seen Sam in six months and she's a demolisher too."
Amy says "I just do what they tell me to. Chips are no joke."
Freya tilts her head towards Ash, "Fayad has always been tempted to be ...even more than a templar. They want to kill supernaturals and free humans. I bet their goals won't have changed even with a new cult."
Ash touches their neck at the mention of chips before responding to Freya, "The dragon was their biggest issue. They're still the same, they're my problem, but a lot of the *extra* stuff that they were attacked for... it was mostly lizard related. It's just their personal beefs now, as well as the Hand."
Amy touches her own neck.
Ash starts to clarify something, but shrugs, changing their mind.
"Why are they your problem?" Freya asks Ash curiously, "And they're not wrong." Her teal eyes study the man before flicking towards Amy at her question, as if she's also curious.
Jodie pushes up from her seat and grunts softly, "Well, I'm gonna call it a night for me." she glances to Freya, "Should I be kicking the shit out of this Fayad prick when I see him?"
Freya gets to her feet and offers Jodie a lopsided hug, "I dont know.. that's what got us in this. He hates me. But I'll talk to him. See if he's changed."
Ash looks over to Amy, giving her a moment's thought before nodding, slowly. "Let's just say, I've haven't had had control over my life until... well, maybe never."
Ash shakes their head, saying, "No, Freya. He will still hate you. He always will."
Amy nods to Ash, "Welcome to the club, then," she chuckles lightly, "Chip club."
Jodie says "Maybe this is a Templar support group."