Patrollogs
(Emmanuel's decursing attempt)
[Mon Aug 19 2024]
On Guardian lane
The hard-packed dirt road is wide enough for two cars to passs but just barely. Along each side, the foliage has been left to grow as it will with no attempt to tame it or trim it for appearance. Overhead, the tree branches grow thicker than previous, causing more of the shade during the day and an even deeper darkness at night.
It is night, about 85F(29C) degrees, Ankle high mist flows through the area. There is a waning gibbous moon.
Emmanuel says "..Well, good news and bad news? I have found a pendant. Bad news? It is cursed."
Emmanuel says "Oui. On my way."
Emmanuel tumbles out of the van, and extends the bracelet towards the others, "I am here, and so is this." The man explains with a cough, unable to quite let go of it. "My fingers, hm? They are not listening."
Novel glances down as his phone beeps. "Fuck yeah I got paid." And then back up to Emmanuel and Fayad, nodding. "That's kind of hilarious. You think she spies on you at night? And the godrealms gate is just fucking convenient." He cranes his head at the comment. "I mean we could cut your fucking hand off and put it back on later. Or, wait, we could fucking uhh... give you a sweet ass robot hand or some shit. That's possible, right?"
Fayad frowns. "I've seen this before. It's a common arcane ransomhex scam. The Golden Shadow leaves things like this out in the middle of the street, waits for someone to pick it up, then charges them to undo the curse, presenting themselves as helpers."
"..Non." It's that this isn't possible, rather it's more that Emmanuel has grown rather attached to his hand, "Erm, why do you not try charming it off instead, hm? You are having a way with words, Novel. Ask it very nicely?" While he suggests this, the Frenchman rustles about in his pockets, producing a smudge stick with his free hand, "Here we are, here we are.."
Fayad says "That's actually how I became aware. I found a cursed knife. "
Fayad extends the claws of his gauntlet towards the bracelet and starts to tug at the strands of arcana, brow furrowing in concentration.
Novel stares at Fayad, aghast. "Fucking seriously? That's fuuuuuucking buuuuuuullllshit," He declares with a deep amount of annoyance in his voice. "Remind me to dismember someone from the Golden Shadow if I get the goddamn opportunity and oh yeah sure I could try asking NICELY, just asking the CUNT of a BRACELET," He's now staring those hateful, hateful eyes right at the little piece of sticky jewelery, "That can't figure out how to not be a USELESS, UGLY, piece of SHIT that can't decide if it should belong on a WRIST or belong as a RIVET as part of a SEWAGE TREATMENT PLANT."
Growing air pressure makes your ear's pop uncomfortably and deadens all sound.
While Fayad does some actual magic to help, Emmanuel awkwardly goes about setting his smudge stuck alight - which involves some mild juggling of a lighter and the stick itself. But he gets there. Right as it begins to smoke, there's a growing pressure, and his ears pop painfully, "Merde." Emmanuel mutters to himself, eyes scrunching closed in discomfort.
Did the bracelet just shy away from Novel, and his words? Surely not.
Fayad grunts. "Just like last time. I'm opening its ears for you. Metaphorically "
Novel expels out "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff" very loudly, "UUUUUUUUCK you that was like someone yanked me up one of those fucking bouncy drop roller coaster rides that go up into the goddamn sky, and it was YOU." The finger. Pointing. The finger, accusatory, 'pon the cursed item, his eyes rolling with disbelief that such a trinket would annoy him so. "This is YOUR fault. I should EAT you just so I have the pleasure of DEFECATING YOU into the OPEN GODDAMN MOUTH of a CROCODILE where you get to spend ALL ETERNITY in the bottom of a fucking BOG amongst ALL THE OTHER BODIES I PUT IN THERE."
Emmanuel cannot even begin to match the verbal assault being levied against the bracelet by Novel, and he doesn't even try. He simply raises the cursed item closer toward the man, while slightly widened eyes. "..Oui, you can do it, hm?" There's some encouragement offered as he continues to snake his smudge stick around, and chokes a little on the thick smoke.
An arc of lightning blasts out of the artifact to strike Emmanuel, sending him flying.
Fayad reacts with mild concern about Emmanuel's predicament, tightening his grip on mid-air with an almost draconic snarl
Apparently the bracelet wasn't particularly fond of being smothered in smoke, though rather than cough and get watery eyes, it decides to blast Emmanuel straight in the chest with lightning. Lovely. There's a spray of French nonsense and spittle both as he goes flying backwards, legs going straight up into the air before he lands awkwardly on his upperback, no doubt he is going to feel this for a week or two. "Ooof!"
"Whoa! Fucking awesome! You can get lighting outta shit by cursing at it!" Novel seems to be more excited by this development then overly concerned about Emmanuel as he steps on over it. He automatically assumes it was him, of course, and not the far more likely development of spiritual smoke or Fayad's actual magical doohickeryisms. The thud thud of booted feet against cobblestones as he goes over to seize the frenchman by his bracelet and haul him on up with unnaturally gained strength.
"Fooof!" It's like the grunt of pain is played in reverse as Novel drags Emmanuel back up and onto his feet, mostly. There's several rapid blinks as he tries to clear his head, and then shakes it, "Oui. You are very impressive with the.. wording." It's probably only a /mild/ concussion. These happen all the time!
Growing air pressure makes your ear's pop uncomfortably and deadens all sound.
Fayad yawns, re-popping his ears.
Novel whap whap whaps Emmanuel, unnecessarily and violently smacking the dust at the man and glaring at that stupid piece of jewelry. "FUCK yeah I am that stupid ass bracelet deserves to be rattled around and used as the supporting chunk of metal for the corner of a hobo's goddamn cardboard box because it isn't fucking level enough!" His jaw works while he talks, opening and closing, doing the same as Fayad.
Emmanuel does his best to yawn as well, but he isn't quite able to get there. So the poor fellow just stands there with his mouth open like he's trying to catch flies. He gives up eventually, while being battered helpfully by Novel, and just extends the bracelet-trapped arm toward Fayad, "Magic it off!"
Growing air pressure makes your ear's pop uncomfortably and deadens all sound.
Fayad rolls his eyes. "What does it look like I'm doing?", he mouths, unable to be heard through all the Air the artifact keeps spewing. "Tell it it farts and it's embarassing, Novel, " he instructs.
Novel makes grabby hands at Emmanuel's arm, trying to hold it in place and start trying to twist it off. Probably painfully given it is still fused to his fingers. "You FART. You pass GAS. You're so INEPT as a magical artifact that you'd sooner try to SHIT YOURSELF IN FEAR then do anything fucking USEFUL. You're EMBARRASSING."
"Ow, ow. Ow. Ow?" Emmanuel blurts out as his hand is twisted by magic, and Novel alike, and it soon becomes harder to tell which is worse as the other man ends up just about yelling in his face.
With a final burst of power the curse on a wooden necklace is broken.
Emmanuels Decursing Attempt 240828
(Emmanuel's decursing attempt)
[Mon Aug 19 2024]
On Guardian lane
The hard-packed dirt road is wide enough for two cars to passs but just barely. Along each side, the foliage has been left to grow as it will with no attempt to tame it or trim it for appearance. Overhead, the tree branches grow thicker than previous, causing more of the shade during the day and an even deeper darkness at night.
It is night, about 85F(29C) degrees, Ankle high mist flows through the area. There is a waning gibbous moon.
Emmanuel says "..Well, good news and bad news? I have found a pendant. Bad news? It is cursed."
Emmanuel says "Oui. On my way."
Emmanuel tumbles out of the van, and extends the bracelet towards the others, "I am here, and so is this." The man explains with a cough, unable to quite let go of it. "My fingers, hm? They are not listening."
Novel glances down as his phone beeps. "Fuck yeah I got paid." And then back up to Emmanuel and Fayad, nodding. "That's kind of hilarious. You think she spies on you at night? And the godrealms gate is just fucking convenient." He cranes his head at the comment. "I mean we could cut your fucking hand off and put it back on later. Or, wait, we could fucking uhh... give you a sweet ass robot hand or some shit. That's possible, right?"
Fayad frowns. "I've seen this before. It's a common arcane ransomhex scam. The Golden Shadow leaves things like this out in the middle of the street, waits for someone to pick it up, then charges them to undo the curse, presenting themselves as helpers."
"..Non." It's that this isn't possible, rather it's more that Emmanuel has grown rather attached to his hand, "Erm, why do you not try charming it off instead, hm? You are having a way with words, Novel. Ask it very nicely?" While he suggests this, the Frenchman rustles about in his pockets, producing a smudge stick with his free hand, "Here we are, here we are.."
Fayad says "That's actually how I became aware. I found a cursed knife. "
Fayad extends the claws of his gauntlet towards the bracelet and starts to tug at the strands of arcana, brow furrowing in concentration.
Novel stares at Fayad, aghast. "Fucking seriously? That's fuuuuuucking buuuuuuullllshit," He declares with a deep amount of annoyance in his voice. "Remind me to dismember someone from the Golden Shadow if I get the goddamn opportunity and oh yeah sure I could try asking NICELY, just asking the CUNT of a BRACELET," He's now staring those hateful, hateful eyes right at the little piece of sticky jewelery, "That can't figure out how to not be a USELESS, UGLY, piece of SHIT that can't decide if it should belong on a WRIST or belong as a RIVET as part of a SEWAGE TREATMENT PLANT."
Growing air pressure makes your ear's pop uncomfortably and deadens all sound.
While Fayad does some actual magic to help, Emmanuel awkwardly goes about setting his smudge stuck alight - which involves some mild juggling of a lighter and the stick itself. But he gets there. Right as it begins to smoke, there's a growing pressure, and his ears pop painfully, "Merde." Emmanuel mutters to himself, eyes scrunching closed in discomfort.
Did the bracelet just shy away from Novel, and his words? Surely not.
Fayad grunts. "Just like last time. I'm opening its ears for you. Metaphorically "
Novel expels out "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff" very loudly, "UUUUUUUUCK you that was like someone yanked me up one of those fucking bouncy drop roller coaster rides that go up into the goddamn sky, and it was YOU." The finger. Pointing. The finger, accusatory, 'pon the cursed item, his eyes rolling with disbelief that such a trinket would annoy him so. "This is YOUR fault. I should EAT you just so I have the pleasure of DEFECATING YOU into the OPEN GODDAMN MOUTH of a CROCODILE where you get to spend ALL ETERNITY in the bottom of a fucking BOG amongst ALL THE OTHER BODIES I PUT IN THERE."
Emmanuel cannot even begin to match the verbal assault being levied against the bracelet by Novel, and he doesn't even try. He simply raises the cursed item closer toward the man, while slightly widened eyes. "..Oui, you can do it, hm?" There's some encouragement offered as he continues to snake his smudge stick around, and chokes a little on the thick smoke.
An arc of lightning blasts out of the artifact to strike Emmanuel, sending him flying.
Fayad reacts with mild concern about Emmanuel's predicament, tightening his grip on mid-air with an almost draconic snarl
Apparently the bracelet wasn't particularly fond of being smothered in smoke, though rather than cough and get watery eyes, it decides to blast Emmanuel straight in the chest with lightning. Lovely. There's a spray of French nonsense and spittle both as he goes flying backwards, legs going straight up into the air before he lands awkwardly on his upperback, no doubt he is going to feel this for a week or two. "Ooof!"
"Whoa! Fucking awesome! You can get lighting outta shit by cursing at it!" Novel seems to be more excited by this development then overly concerned about Emmanuel as he steps on over it. He automatically assumes it was him, of course, and not the far more likely development of spiritual smoke or Fayad's actual magical doohickeryisms. The thud thud of booted feet against cobblestones as he goes over to seize the frenchman by his bracelet and haul him on up with unnaturally gained strength.
"Fooof!" It's like the grunt of pain is played in reverse as Novel drags Emmanuel back up and onto his feet, mostly. There's several rapid blinks as he tries to clear his head, and then shakes it, "Oui. You are very impressive with the.. wording." It's probably only a /mild/ concussion. These happen all the time!
Growing air pressure makes your ear's pop uncomfortably and deadens all sound.
Fayad yawns, re-popping his ears.
Novel whap whap whaps Emmanuel, unnecessarily and violently smacking the dust at the man and glaring at that stupid piece of jewelry. "FUCK yeah I am that stupid ass bracelet deserves to be rattled around and used as the supporting chunk of metal for the corner of a hobo's goddamn cardboard box because it isn't fucking level enough!" His jaw works while he talks, opening and closing, doing the same as Fayad.
Emmanuel does his best to yawn as well, but he isn't quite able to get there. So the poor fellow just stands there with his mouth open like he's trying to catch flies. He gives up eventually, while being battered helpfully by Novel, and just extends the bracelet-trapped arm toward Fayad, "Magic it off!"
Growing air pressure makes your ear's pop uncomfortably and deadens all sound.
Fayad rolls his eyes. "What does it look like I'm doing?", he mouths, unable to be heard through all the Air the artifact keeps spewing. "Tell it it farts and it's embarassing, Novel, " he instructs.
Novel makes grabby hands at Emmanuel's arm, trying to hold it in place and start trying to twist it off. Probably painfully given it is still fused to his fingers. "You FART. You pass GAS. You're so INEPT as a magical artifact that you'd sooner try to SHIT YOURSELF IN FEAR then do anything fucking USEFUL. You're EMBARRASSING."
"Ow, ow. Ow. Ow?" Emmanuel blurts out as his hand is twisted by magic, and Novel alike, and it soon becomes harder to tell which is worse as the other man ends up just about yelling in his face.
With a final burst of power the curse on a wooden necklace is broken.