Patrollogs
(Fayad's decursing attempt)
[Wed Sep 11 2024]
In the Parking Lot of the Elm Street Apartment Complex
It is night, about 74F(23C) degrees, There is a waxing gibbous moon.
Fayad says "Found a cursed necklace immediately."
Fayad says "Bailing to the chapel."
Fayad says "Don't know."
Fayad says "But I found one, yeah."
Fayad lifts up a wooden necklace.
Fayad says "Emmanuel found the woman that stole his phone and he's dealing with that."
Fayad puts the necklace on the altar.
Fayad says "Alright....same thing as every other time, I guess."
Novel steps up on the other side, glaring balefully down at the shitty piece of metal that DARES defy the will and order of - what was their group name again? Disruptors? That's not really orderly, now, is it. Okay. Defying the will and DISORDER of... wait, how is it an organization if it's disorderly... hang on... where's the script? Just have the man start spilling out verbal diarrhea? Okay. Yeah, sure. "FUUUUCK YOOOOOOUUUUU!" The tweaker points accusingly at the necklace, his eyes narrowing into slits. "STOP FUCKING BEING AN ANNOYING PIECE OF DISCOUNT ANAL BEAD MADE IN CHINA FROM SPARE PARTS AND TOFU CONSTRUCTION THAT YOU TRICK TOURISTS INTO BUYING."
"No." The bracelet responds back to Novel, raising it's voice in turn, "Fuck /you/, man."
Fayad says "It's a wooden necklace, so, uh, denigrate its lineage. It used to be a living creature."
For several seconds the room grows painfully hot.
Novel takes Fayad's argument under consideration. "Fuck you! You're an inanimate goddamn object! You don't get to fucking talk! You were made out of scrap wood from a crate that was crapped out by compressing other, cheaper wood, after it was used to nail together a chicken coop for twenty years!"
Fayad winces, the power of Novel's roasting causing him to have to open a window from the sheer heat Novel's spitting.
"I bet you weren't even a real tree! I bet you started life as a puddle of oil crapped out by a dinosaur millions of years ago, then squeezed into the fucking bullshit trees they put in places because children can't be trusted and fuckers enjoy filling us with microplastic!" Novel continues haranguing the object.
For several seconds the room grows painfully cold.
Novel prickles with sudden chill in contrast to the earlier cold, his hands reaching up and down to rub his as his teeth begin to chatter, clicking. "An-an-and I bet you were FABRICATE by a ... HORSE... butthole!"
For several seconds the room grows painfully hot.
Fayad nods encouragingly to Novel as the temperature rapidly pingpongs between hot and cold. "You're pissing it off. You're making the curse lose coherence. Good work, Novel!"
"That doesn't make any sense, but what should we expect from a Floridian?" The necklace buzzes back up to Novel, and flicks a bead toward him. "Yeah, I can tell. I can smell the bath salts, and I don't even have a nose." It's attention flits over toward Fayad then, "What sort of a mage are you? Are you a cheerleader? Is this what you contribute? Where's the power? Where's the magic? Honestly, you're disappointing me, and I was once worn by a horse."
Novel pushes out his jaw, soldiering on through it and the heat and the object. It's entirely possible he thinks it's all in his head. There's a donk as he gets whapped in the forehead though he doesn't appear to notice beyond a single blink. "Plastic extruders are almost identical to horse buttholes because of how efficient they are." He explains to the bracelet. W... why does he know that? "It's the scent of AWESOME that's fucking why, and you're just a stupid fucking wooden piece of trash what do YOU even know, you envious excremented enchanted shitwood."
For several seconds the room grows painfully cold.
"Oh, ho ho!" The bracelet laughs back in response to Novel, "Look at you go, eh? Alliteration and four syllable words? I'm sure that the swamp you spawned from is mighty proud of you, isn't it?" It verbally jousts back with him, wiggling and writhing on the altar, "You know what you are identical to? Nothing. Because God doesn't make mistakes twice, and he stopped after one of you!" A bead flicks out and over toward Fayad then, "You just going to stand there like a lemon?"
Novel says "Uncursedvaluablebraceletthatweregoingtosellsaywhat? "
Fayad nods quietly. "I don't have to even bother getting involved with trash like you."
"What?" The bracelet, which is probably actually a necklace but keeps forgetting this, blurts back out to Novel.
Novel fingerguns Fayad and then the necklace with a wink. "Ayyyyyyyyy."
With a final burst of power the curse on a wooden necklace is broken.
Fayads Decursing Attempt 240912
(Fayad's decursing attempt)
[Wed Sep 11 2024]
In the Parking Lot of the Elm Street Apartment Complex
It is night, about 74F(23C) degrees, There is a waxing gibbous moon.
Fayad says "Found a cursed necklace immediately."
Fayad says "Bailing to the chapel."
Fayad says "Don't know."
Fayad says "But I found one, yeah."
Fayad lifts up a wooden necklace.
Fayad says "Emmanuel found the woman that stole his phone and he's dealing with that."
Fayad puts the necklace on the altar.
Fayad says "Alright....same thing as every other time, I guess."
Novel steps up on the other side, glaring balefully down at the shitty piece of metal that DARES defy the will and order of - what was their group name again? Disruptors? That's not really orderly, now, is it. Okay. Defying the will and DISORDER of... wait, how is it an organization if it's disorderly... hang on... where's the script? Just have the man start spilling out verbal diarrhea? Okay. Yeah, sure. "FUUUUCK YOOOOOOUUUUU!" The tweaker points accusingly at the necklace, his eyes narrowing into slits. "STOP FUCKING BEING AN ANNOYING PIECE OF DISCOUNT ANAL BEAD MADE IN CHINA FROM SPARE PARTS AND TOFU CONSTRUCTION THAT YOU TRICK TOURISTS INTO BUYING."
"No." The bracelet responds back to Novel, raising it's voice in turn, "Fuck /you/, man."
Fayad says "It's a wooden necklace, so, uh, denigrate its lineage. It used to be a living creature."
For several seconds the room grows painfully hot.
Novel takes Fayad's argument under consideration. "Fuck you! You're an inanimate goddamn object! You don't get to fucking talk! You were made out of scrap wood from a crate that was crapped out by compressing other, cheaper wood, after it was used to nail together a chicken coop for twenty years!"
Fayad winces, the power of Novel's roasting causing him to have to open a window from the sheer heat Novel's spitting.
"I bet you weren't even a real tree! I bet you started life as a puddle of oil crapped out by a dinosaur millions of years ago, then squeezed into the fucking bullshit trees they put in places because children can't be trusted and fuckers enjoy filling us with microplastic!" Novel continues haranguing the object.
For several seconds the room grows painfully cold.
Novel prickles with sudden chill in contrast to the earlier cold, his hands reaching up and down to rub his as his teeth begin to chatter, clicking. "An-an-and I bet you were FABRICATE by a ... HORSE... butthole!"
For several seconds the room grows painfully hot.
Fayad nods encouragingly to Novel as the temperature rapidly pingpongs between hot and cold. "You're pissing it off. You're making the curse lose coherence. Good work, Novel!"
"That doesn't make any sense, but what should we expect from a Floridian?" The necklace buzzes back up to Novel, and flicks a bead toward him. "Yeah, I can tell. I can smell the bath salts, and I don't even have a nose." It's attention flits over toward Fayad then, "What sort of a mage are you? Are you a cheerleader? Is this what you contribute? Where's the power? Where's the magic? Honestly, you're disappointing me, and I was once worn by a horse."
Novel pushes out his jaw, soldiering on through it and the heat and the object. It's entirely possible he thinks it's all in his head. There's a donk as he gets whapped in the forehead though he doesn't appear to notice beyond a single blink. "Plastic extruders are almost identical to horse buttholes because of how efficient they are." He explains to the bracelet. W... why does he know that? "It's the scent of AWESOME that's fucking why, and you're just a stupid fucking wooden piece of trash what do YOU even know, you envious excremented enchanted shitwood."
For several seconds the room grows painfully cold.
"Oh, ho ho!" The bracelet laughs back in response to Novel, "Look at you go, eh? Alliteration and four syllable words? I'm sure that the swamp you spawned from is mighty proud of you, isn't it?" It verbally jousts back with him, wiggling and writhing on the altar, "You know what you are identical to? Nothing. Because God doesn't make mistakes twice, and he stopped after one of you!" A bead flicks out and over toward Fayad then, "You just going to stand there like a lemon?"
Novel says "Uncursedvaluablebraceletthatweregoingtosellsaywhat? "
Fayad nods quietly. "I don't have to even bother getting involved with trash like you."
"What?" The bracelet, which is probably actually a necklace but keeps forgetting this, blurts back out to Novel.
Novel fingerguns Fayad and then the necklace with a wink. "Ayyyyyyyyy."
With a final burst of power the curse on a wooden necklace is broken.